[Seth Says] No Rest For The Wicked
How can I make jokes in such grave circumstances?
It's time to try defyyyyyyyying gravity.
Sorry, that's no rest for Wicked. (a reasonable choice if you want to see a musical but don't know witch.) The wicked, of course, have wasted no time attempting to despoil any governmental humanity and decency, but there are still lots of people who have humanity and decency, so that's something. It's something like some other thing, which reminds me that I have made some bad analogies.
LIKE TWO HUMMINGBIRDS THAT HAD ALSO NEVER MET
The charge was levied that my analogies in the previous newsletter were bad. I'll admit, I can see how things may have seemed a bit off. Sometimes everything in my head doesn't make it onto the page (even though I try to put a lot of the side thoughts I birth in parentheses)(in loco parentises)(even Latin knows your parents are always loco). So yeah, those analogies were not perfect. But that's okay. As I always say, a bad analogy is like a frog.
SO TIRED I COULD CROAK
I have not been sleeping well of late. As I put it on Facebook, "The sleep is terrible! And the portions are too small!" I'm putting this here instead of trying to make a column out of it in hopes that this issue will be fleeting, although I'm not ruling out a column if the problem persists into February.
But having trouble sleeping always seems terribly stupid. Perhaps because it's something most of the world manages to accomplish for many hours per night. And it's not like I haven't had decades of practice, so how could I be so bad at it now? Skill issue. (How can I be so hungry when I'm a giant whale? Krill issue.)
There have been days in the past week that I've even kept gasp normal person hours, and let me tell you, on days when I keep normal person hours I feel terrible and brain fried. (I actually just wrote "brain friend", which both sounds nice and illustrates that I am still tired.) I am not normal person and these are not my hours, and I'd quite like my hours back as soon as my body will cooperate thanks.
MUSICAL OUTERLUDE
I am pretty excited about this week's column because I couldn't stop singing it for the past week, which is generally a good sign for song parodies. Also, it's a little funny to me that I have a friend (who'd have guessed!) who is mildly internationally known and writes a lot of thinkpiece articles on news and tech, because we often end up addressing a lot of the same topics.
Indeed, this week he has a big article in a British magazine about Meta removing fact-checking and hate speech restrictions, and I have addressed the same topic with a delightful Mary Poppins parody as part of the below column which will feel familiar to anyone who watched TV in the 90s:
That's all the news from Lake Woebehere, where it may be BYO levity/humanity/decency for a bit, so stock up whenever you see a sale. Thanks for reading, back in two weeks with another column, and I don't believe in a good witch or a bad witch, just a sandwich.
And that's why I am fryyyying pastrami
It's good on rye, with kraut and added cheese
Thank you deli much,
Seth