[Seth Says] Midnight Salad
"Do you know how to make a Caesar salad?"
"Not exactly, but I can take a stab at it."
This is the second-best time of year to be eating a Caesar salad. Obviously the best time is the Ides of March, but failing that the perfect time for Caesar on your cuspids is these two weeks that fall on the cusp of the bonus months (Latin for "good months")(Presuming I can convince you that months means months in Latin)(It works so often in Spanish) which were added by your favorite Caesars, Julius and Augustus. (Not my favorite Caesars; those are probably Sid and Romero.)(Two of the great jokers.)
Anyway, I've recently finished a midnight salad after an annoyingly peopled midnight walk - normally this is a small enough town that I don't encounter anyone when I go walking after midnight, but in this case I encountered multiple people. Not that we interacted in any way aside from a head-nod to the walkers and a friendly "thanks for not running me over" wave to the drivers, but obviously after midnight the entire town should belong to me and me alone so I prefer not to encounter strangers.
It was a little hot today, so I'm sure I'm not the only one with the idea that walking at night would be more comfortable, but I presume most people go to bed by midnight-ish if they have to wake up early for jobs and such. I do not because my life is lovely and boring.
LOVELY AND BORING
I think that would be an interesting compliment to give someone you wanted to date, "Darling, you are lovely and boring." (Feel free to try it and let me know how it goes!) But those adjectives certainly describe my life. I wake up whenever, and don't set an alarm clock unless there's some important appointment (or disappointment) I'm trying to get to. I really don't do much except sit at my computer writing/gaming, some making and eating of food, and going for the occasional walk.
It's quite pleasant but means that I have very little to talk about. ("That's never stopped you before," said Debbie. She's the funny one.) Sort of the inverse of those glitzy tourist places where people say "nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there"; my life is well-suited to me but provides very little in the way of exciting conversational topics, which I guess could be a problem if I ever talked to anyone.
But I guess one can always talk about media.
BOOK NOOK
As I continue to work my way through the many books which friends have recommended to me, I've also been reading one particularly enjoyable series called Dungeon Crawler Carl. This is a series enjoyable for people who have played video game RPGs and appreciate that sort of thing -- almost like a Sword Art Online if it were much funnier. The books are great for their target audience, and you probably know whether that's you or not.
If not, you could always read
MON COLUMNARI
It's a trap! Yes, we've expanded the column section now, so I can bring you not only this week's Eagle column where I discuss three dangerous and high-risk activities I've injured myself doing recently:
but also my previous column styled after an old MAD magazine gag, now reprinted in the Banner for your convenience:
The health thing remains an issue for me, as I'm dealing with some old man health issues that are decidedly unwelcome... but on the other hand, I was reminded recently that I used to get a bad stomach bug (Stomach Beetle!)(Egypt's 17th most popular superhero!) once a year or so that involved a lot of serious unpleasantness (as opposed to humorous unpleasantness, like vomiting up rubber ducks and dancing frogs), and now I just haven't had that in half a decade, so that's a marked improvement.
WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?
I don't know, I don't watch. (I guess few people do, these days, but I don't phone either.) Anyway, suddenly it's much later than it was earlier and it seems like a good time to finish this email and send it out. As always, I thank you for reading, will be back in two weeks with another column, and if you're ever given the choice of a last meal, pick something more substantial than a Caesar salad.
Moritori te Saladamus,
Seth