[Seth Says] Happy Holidaze! (too many songs edition)

I think holidaze is the correct term, since I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this whole time of year is a weird floaty time where everyone's already half-checked-out mentally, or fully checked out if you are very sexy and/or are at a library or store. (Not to be confused with hollandaze, where you eat so much Eggs Benedict that you end up in a stupor.)(Not to be confused with Holland Daze... well, I won't clog up this paragraph any more.)
 

I know, usually people write songs, but this one was already written, so I didn't write it, I wronged it. More specifically, in my latest column I absolutely wrong Mariah Carey with an unnecessarily verbose rewrite of her hit "All I Want For Christmas", which I have titled "The Totality of My Desired Yuletide Acquisitions”

They even thoughtfully included a lyrics video of the original so you can sing along and see the real-time translation. This is far from the first unnecessarily verbose holiday song I've done. I think I started two decades ago with "Allow It To Precipitate", and I've probably done a half-dozen since then. I almost have enough for an album that should never be made! (I guess technically, I already have more than enough original raps for an album that shouldn't be made.)
 

FYI, Tom Lehrer has announced that all of his work is now in the public domain, and has for a limited time put all his songs online - with mp3s, lyrics, and sheet music - on his website. This is the stuff Weird Al and I both grew up listening to (not together, more's the pity), so if you're not familiar, take a listen. He's even got a Christmas Carol and a Hanukkah song! And if you like them, you can perform or broadcast them and no one can stop you. Hooray public domain!
 

Someone said last month that the one thing online social media won't forgive is being happy, as evidenced by the hundreds of angry replies to a woman posting on Twitter about enjoying an afternoon out in her garden with her husband. (The temerity!) I think it's because of that - and more generally because blathering about how happy I am seems like boasting/bragging which is usually not my cuppa - that I rarely make public social media posts that just drone on about how happy I am. Especially because social media always seems designed to inspire envy and unhappiness, and the last thing I want to do is make my friends less happy. (I want to make my enemies less happy, and they don't follow me on social media.)

I'll say this though. ("This though!") One of the biggest advantages of being happy in my own life is that I can now genuinely appreciate the success of my friends without being filled with envy and resentment. Which is convenient, because my friends are very smart, talented, and creative people, and so naturally many of them have gone on to achieve various sorts of success, gaining aspirational levels of achievement, income, fame, opportunities, accolades, adoration, food, etc.  And it's a hell of a lot nicer for me to be able to just be happy for them rather than bubbling with envy.

Which was not always the case. I am no stranger to the envy, the green-eyed monster. ("I wish *our* stadium had a big wall like Fenway's...")  In the 20th century (oh my god, I'm a history book, when did I get so old?), I was mostly discontent, and it sometimes made me a little bitter at the success of others. And much as I'd like to pretend that I went from a bitter person to a better person through intellectual self-reflection, the larger factor was probably just getting my own life in order to the point where I'm happy with it. Turns out, once you've achieved your own happiness, it's a lot easier to be happier for everyone else's good fortune as well.

Except for billionaires, because every billionaire is a policy failure. No one person's holdings should mushroom into that world-defining amount.
 

Cremini, that was a bit of a stretch. But Maitake is this: Ultimately money is like happiness; especially once you have established a good amount for yourself, you should be happy to see everyone else get more too. I hope this holiday season brings you lots of happiness, and if this year already Blewit, here's hoping that next year is even better than this one.

I'll see you then, with another column. Thanks for reading, and happy holidaze!


Just another fungi,
Seth