[Seth Says] For the love of god, Montresor!

Cask not what your country can do for you...
 

Well, this is it. The last day to vote. I already voted, already wrote a column about voting last issue, and by this point even if you haven't voted already, you've probably already decided whether to vote or not, and who to vote for. But y'know, just in case you were thinking, "I was gonna vote, but I hate to miss work, and today's a good day to seal up that hole in my basement, maybe I won't bother voting," this is me pleading with you to go vote for people who believe all people deserve equal rights. Good luck, or as they don't say in Italian, "Bone a Fortunato".
 

If you're an Edgar Allen Poe fan (and if you're not, you may not have really appreciated today's newsletter so far), why not take today to reward yourself for voting with my classic column from 2019, The Millennial Raven.

I was going to say it was a column from 3 years ago, but as we all know, 2019 was at least a decade ago, back when people saying "OK Boomer" was what passed for news. Anyway, I've written a lot of parody poems over the course of my career, but The Raven has always been one of my favorites to parody -- perhaps because I grew up reading the great Frank Jacobs (of MAD Magazine fame) who often parodied Poe, most memorably with a pitch-perfect "The Reagan" back in the 80s, mocking the then-president.

Anyway, that's literally old news. But for new olds (that's me and most of my age cohort, we're relatively newly old), would you like to read a column about ratings? Well, here's my latest column, at any rate:

Rate Expectations

And if you're wondering what the dickens the 3.5 stars thing is about, it really does ring true to me. I recently heard our downstreet Americanized Mexifood joint was voted "Best Mexican Food in the Berkshires," while it's pretty clear to me that Williamstown's Coyote Flaco is vastly superior. I'd tie this to some lesson about the importance of voting, but I'm tired, we're all tired, again. We're re-tired, only with social insecurity.
 

As social media goes, Twitter has always moved wheely fast, but the speed over the past week has really accelerated in a dangerous fashion, just like a self-driving Tesla. For those who don't follow Twitter drama, let me explain. ("No, there is too much, let me sum up." -- Inigo)  Melon Husk joked about buying twitter, threatened to, got denied, tried not to, got sued, got stuck, bought it, declared no rules, got mocked, declared mocking him is banned but racism is fine, advertisers left, now he hates anti-racists. Oh, and he fired most of the staff.

Anyway, it's quite possible that the site will have imploded by next year, but that's the danger of social media owned by a billionaire who can make it terrible on a whim. Indeed, that was my primary impetus for creating this little newsletter you're reading now. No billionaire can make this newsletter terrible; I do that all by myself. /tread
 

We have had some lovely summer days this past week, which would be less worrying were it not November. But, if the world's going to go to hell, may as well get out and enjoy it! I continue to believe there's no better place in the world during autumn than the Berkshires, and every time I go for a walk and hear the SHWOOK SHWOOK SHWOOK as I stride through dead leaves, it makes me smile. (Also, typing shwook shwook shwook makes me want shish tawook, which is a tasty lebanese chicken dish I recommend, there used to be a woman in Pittsfield who made a really good one.)("Was she lebanese?" "No, she had a husband.")(It occurs to me one reason my columns are better than this newsletter is that I have Debbie look at my columns to make sure they're not terrible, which is not true for this newsletter. Did I mention that I make this newsletter terrible all by myself? I did. Now I need to Worcestershire my way to a new paragraph. Lee: End parens!)

Anyway, if you live in the Berkshires you should *definitely* get out to enjoy the weather this week, but even if not, take advantage of the world while it's here. (By which I mean enjoy, not take advantage of in terms of scamming the world. What are you, a billionaire?)  Get out and appreciate the fresh air. And while you're out, vote.

That's the Ask of the Read Seth. (That joke works better spoken than written, because you might read read instead of read, but I'm the Seth that you just read, so I want it to work, and nobody can stop me. Even though someone probably should.) Thanks for reading (having read!) and we'll be back in two weeks with a new column.


Your Angel of the Odd,
Seth