[Seth Says] Feast of St. Reuben
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
A: It was cheaper than flying them out.
Greetings, Friends!
Like a pot-smoking ghost or top-shelf alcohol, I am in high spirits this week because I am celebrating the Feast of St. Reuben. This is a holiday I observed for some number of years before actually naming it, and is one I look forward to for the simple pleasures it offers. Specifically, the King of Sandwiches.
Every St. Patrick's Day, after boiling a vat of corned beef and potatoes and carrots and cabbage and all that, we have leftovers. And sure, some people just eat their leftovers as if they were just more St. Patrick's Day dinner, with a big batch of boiled potatoes that once saw a picture of flavor on TV.
But we can do better.
Consequently, for the past mumblety years, I've been making grilled Reubens, which as previously mentioned, is the King of Sandwiches. I heartily endorse this product and/or service (service if you can find someone to make you one; Debbie cooks the St. Patrick's Day dinner and I make the sandwiches, which seems quite fair)(she also cooks like 90% of our dinners elsewise, which is completely unfair in my favor, but she enjoys cooking and is good at so I'm just going to appreciate my good luck.)(very easy to do when you're eating Reubens all week)(admittedly tonight we had a big veggie stir-fry because man cannot live on Reubens alone)(although this man would happily give it the old college try).
Anyway, my point is, the Reuben is the perfect sandwich.
THE PERFECT SANDWICH
The recipe for the Reuben sandwich is very simple: Two slices of rye bread, grilled with a smidge of butter. Corned beef (leftover or otherwise), grilled. Small pile of sauerkraut, drained and grilled (you can optionally dash some thousand island dressing in the kraut if you prefer less bite and more sweetness). You put thousand island dressing and then Swiss cheese on the bread and cover it to melt for a minute or two, then pile the hot sauerkraut and corned beef on one slice to melt it further and put the other slice on as a hat.
It's decadent and delicious and delightful and I commend to you and then recommend this sandwich. It makes me happy, and this seems like a great time for that.
A GREAT TIME FOR JOY
As you know, Bob, we've always been at war with Eurasia. But no, as you know, I am a proponent of joy because I think it's important for happiness, for mental health, for self-preservation, and as a bulwark against joy-crushing fascism. I am a believer in the creation of more joy, for ourselves and for others.
And, unlike my Jr. High dance experience, I'm not alone. AOC's pinned post on BlueSky ("like Twitter, but less Nazi")("and also fewer Nazi")(parenthetical addendums don't work great for slogans, as it turns out) talks about the importance of joyful humanity. And I just read an article earlier this week (it was "the" -- super popular!) about how living well and spending time with people you care about is essential when faced with -gestures at everything-. So it's a good time to be with your people and find joy. (even if I still take the occasional break to email my senators/reps and ask them to stop the defunding of all public goods)
I got a nice slice of that this past week, as an old friend let me know she was in town and we managed to catch up for a walk. That, plus a couple walks with local friends this week, has made me feel alive and joyful rather than inescapably beset, and that's a headspace that's much nicer to be in. So I'm trying to keep having fun.
WHAT? I'M FUN. OCCASIONALLY.
In that spirit, I have been convinced that my columns don't always have to be me railing against the everything because anyone who finds my column online is likely already being bombarded with a ceaseless firehose of awful news. I will certainly continue to address the terrible from time to time (and throw in snide remarks even when it's not the main topic of a piece)("I'll get that Dudley Do-Right," Tom remarked snidely) because I feel like it's part of my responsibility as someone with a platform read by tens of people, but maybe it's okay for people reading a humor column to frequently just find some silly humor.
That's certainly on tap this week, as my latest column is an award show for inventors of frustrating technology:
I hope you enjoy it!
TH-TH-TH-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
And that about wraps up this week's edition of typeity typeity nonsense. (a reasonable alternative newsletter name, honestly). As always, I thank you for reading, will be back in two weeks with another column, and if you've never tried a Reuben sandwich you really ought to. They're just that tasty. Hell, I'd even invent a complicated machine that took 50 steps as long as it would pick up the King of Sandwiches and put it on a plate in front of me.
Just Like Reuben Goldberg,
Seth