[Seth Says] Book Book B'Gack
So a chicken goes into a library, walks up to the counter and says, "Book book book!" (I am realizing this joke works much better spoken, but I've already started writing it down so you'll just have to make the dialogue animal-noise-esque for the joke to work. You can do it; I have faith in you.)(Finally, our childhood of Speak-N-Say training will come in handy. This is the day we've been waiting for!)(Technically true, since it's a Saturday.)
The librarian is curious, but the chicken does have a library card (of course the chicken has a library card; only complete turkeys don't have library cards), so she gives the chicken three books to check out, and the chicken takes the books and leaves. (Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a book? A: Sometimes books have an appendix.)
The next day the chicken is back in the library, drops off those three books, then walks up to the counter again and says, "Book book book!" Once again, the librarian is curious but dutifully gives the chicken three books to check out, and the chicken takes the books and leaves. (Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a book? A: A book has a spine and a chicken is someone who doesn't.)
The following day, the chicken returns to the library once again, drops off the three books, and walks up to the counter once more to say "Book book book!" Like before, the librarian helps the chicken check out three more books, and the chicken takes the books and departs. (Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a book? A: "If you don't know, then I'm not eating these McNuggets.")
This time, the librarian is so curious that she decides to follow the chicken. (It was the following day, after all!) She follows it down a hill, over a river, through the woods, past grandmother's house, all the way to a little woodsy grove where the chicken stops in front of a large frog. The chicken places the books on the ground in front of the frog, who hops over to look at the books and then says, "Reddit. Reddit. Reddit."
BOOKY HERE
It's been a good week for me book-wise. (Me book-wise. Him book-foolish!)(Me am writor!) Finished the draft of a book I've been ghostwriting, and the client quite liked the first half, so I'm hopeful the full manuscript will be similarly received. And I was recently approached to do a bit of fiction ghostwriting, which is a rarity for me since most of my ghostwriting is non-fiction (children's picturebooks notwithstanding).
I'll admit that fiction is not my specialty (which shouldn't be read as "I'm bad at this!" but literally "I have decades of experience specializing in non-fiction and cannot say the same for fiction.")(without being a liar)(which I guess is what fiction is), but I like to think the skill of writing entertainingly is at least somewhat transferable and I guess I'll soon find out.
THE D-TEAM
In 1972, all of America was watching an attempted heist play out.
The bank robbers may have been bumbling incompetents, but they had gotten into the bank vaults and had taken hostages.
So not only might these robbers walk away with people's savings, but lives were at stake.
It was the hottest story on TV, everyone was watching it happen, wondering if anyone would stop the destructive circus these suddenly famous robbers had ushered in.
They made a movie about it called "Dog Day Afternoon".
Totally unrelatedly, here's my column for this week:
IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM...
As some of you may recall from our previous episode, I had complained that satire was well-nigh impossible when the ridiculosity of the administration kept ratcheting upwards. (Can't make things foolproof when they keep building better fools!) Well, for my most recent column I gave up and basically just described (albeit avec sarcasm) what is actually happening. It's already stupid enough. (book-foolish, even)(/snagglepuss).
And speaking of enough foolishness, that's the end of this week's newsletter. As always, I thank you for reading, will be back in two weeks with another column, and am glad I actually got this written up tonight rather than wasting another evening scrolling a certain website.
Reddit Reddit Reddit,
Seth