[Seth Says] Bonus Content!
I mean, arguably, the whole newsletter is bonus content. (Or malus content, depending how much you enjoy it.) But my column this week comes with some bonus newsletter content. Yes, I'm putting my column up top this week. I'm excited about it, because I wrote about a political issue while still having fun with it. As I said on Facebook:
-- A lot of Americans are now debating the question: What should be legal? Should there be a different set of rules for the very rich, which let them evade responsibility through shady accounting, and leads to someone with "shrimpy hands" destroying an institution, with no consequences? With all that in mind, my column this week is about how private equity destroyed Red Lobster:
Private Equity FAQ (with Professor McSeth)
So first, please enjoy the above.
And then:
MUSICAL INTERLUDE
The final throwaway pun in the whole buncha puns section is actually a snippet from one of the many, many parody songs I wrote years ago and never did anything with. Most have been lost and forgotten at this point, but I think I recall at least a stanza of that one, so with apologies to Billy Joel:
Whoa-oh-oh
For the langoustine
Whoa-oh-oh
For the lobster
I've been waiting for some lobster meat
On my plate I need seafood to eat
Anticipation
Of that petite crustacean
Has got me hungry for the langoustine
Whoa-oh-oh
For the langoustine
...I think somewhere there was the line, "I'm like a mobster // when I want tasty lobster", but I don't really recall the rest of it.
I AM GYROS AND DOLMAS AND CHAR SIU BAO AND SHUMAI
They do say you are what you eat. Actually, that could be one of those cool t-shirts
Gyros &
Dolmas &
Char Siu Bao &
Shumai
Classy, right? But anyway, I have been eating well. (Even if not necessarily eating good.)(Word nerds are always eating well in this newsletter.) Takeout and freezer dumplings and tasty food cooked by my partner, and even tasty food cooked by other family members thanks to a small family gathering last weekend where other people made food.
I also made food, although I'm not a great chef, so I just made chickpea salad. ("What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?" "Trump never paid to have a garbanzo bean in his Moscow bedroom.")(Welcome to Dead Frog University! In today's lesson, we'll explore the initial bait and switch where a seeming Trump rant isn't, and then the boomerang where he's used as the punchline of a throwaway joke.)(What other newsletter explores how I write the newsletter as I write the newsletter?)("I don't know about him, sometimes it seems like he's a little too much in his own head.")(THAT'S WHERE I LIVE, MUDDLEFUDGER!)(Not that I'm incapable of swearing, but they just introduced a new character to the videogame I play who has a cybernetic chip in his head that prevents him from swearing)(but like, in a cute way, not a Clockwork Orange way)(Okay, I think we've certainly lived up to the newsletter title in this paragraph.)
BONUS CONTENT-MENT
In addition to the tasty food, it was nice to catch up with my family, as well as some other friends who I hadn't seen in a while later in the week. Less nice was the random foot pain that attacked me on my Thursday walk, turning it into a Thursday hobble followed by a Thursday sit, but after some rest and icing (like ice, not frosting)(I don't know who puts frosting on their feet)(although they probably have an OnlyFans), it's doing somewhat better today and hopefully will be all better by next week.
And that's all the news from Lake Woebegone, where the women are men, and the men are empty overcoats. Thanks for reading, back in two weeks with another column, and may the new month bring you tasty food. (Or if it doesn't bring some to you, you can probably go buy some at a farmer's market.)
Nonsense &
Ranting &
Bad Jokes &
Valediction,
Seth