![[Seth Says] Finding Immortality, Avoiding Zombies](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Finding%20Immortality%2C%20Avoiding%20Zombies&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-12-12&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Finding Immortality, Avoiding Zombies
When Mel Brooks as the 2000 Year Old Man was asked for the secret to his long life, he said, "Don't die." Sage advice (don't use too much sage in your...
![[Seth Says] Food Coma](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Food%20Coma&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-11-29&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Food Coma
Q: Who played the In-curry-edible Hulk?A: Aloo Ferrigno This terrible joke brought to you by some late-night aloo that I made earlier this week. Potatoes,...
![[Seth Says] The More Things Change](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20The%20More%20Things%20Change&author=Seth%20Says%20(Parenthetical%20Digressions)&date=2025-11-15&img=https://assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] The More Things Change
Q: Why are there no parking meters at the Alamo?A: No quarter. Greetings Friends, I was going to offer you a penny for your thoughts, but I remembered this...
![[Seth Says] Forget-Me-Yep](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Forget-Me-Yep&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-10-30&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Forget-Me-Yep
Q: What do you call appetizers for Dracula?A: Vlad Tapas Okay, so it's a bit of an arcane reference (Jinx!), but most bad Halloween puns are all like,...
![[Seth Says] Use It Or Lose It](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Use%20It%20Or%20Lose%20It&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-10-18&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Use It Or Lose It
Q: Why will lots of teachers be out and about on Saturday?A: Because teachers are pro-test. (I realize this joke is undercut slightly by the fact that many...
![[Seth Says] The Commish](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20The%20Commish&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-10-03&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] The Commish
Q: What do you call the person in charge of potato pastry?A: The Knishioner. I'm feeling a little bit Tevye (could probably stand to lose some weight)...
![[Seth Says] Once More With Purpose](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Once%20More%20With%20Purpose&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-09-20&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Once More With Purpose
"Did you hit that dolphin by accident?""No, I did it on porpoise." As the great philosopher Pee-Wee Herman once said, "I meant to do that." Turns out, it...
![[Seth Says] Deerly Beloved](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Deerly%20Beloved&author=Seth%20Says%20%28Parenthetical%20Digressions%29&date=2025-09-05&img=https%3A//assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Deerly Beloved
"What's your opinion on the morality of sex before marriage?""I think it's wrong if it delays the ceremony." That is not an original joke (I mean, I suppose...
![[Seth Says] Course Correction](https://image-generator.buttondown.email/api/emphasize-subject?subject=%5BSeth%20Says%5D%20Course%20Correction&author=Seth%20Says%20(Parenthetical%20Digressions)&date=2025-08-22&img=https://assets.buttondown.email/images/49c5c16f-3d7c-4119-a857-8903ae11306b.jpg)
[Seth Says] Course Correction
teachers are great, colleges are under attack, and I write wedding vows
![[Seth Says] Frogs Are Friends!](https://assets.buttondown.email/images/eb6a927c-707e-4a2c-a5b6-6f953a7364b5.jpg?w=960&fit=max)
[Seth Says] Frogs Are Friends!
FROG: Hello Snake! I am also a reptile.SNAKE: Are you telling the truth?FROG: No, I amphibian. I was about to start this newsletter with the library chicken...
[Seth Says] Midnight Salad
"Do you know how to make a Caesar salad?""Not exactly, but I can take a stab at it." This is the second-best time of year to be eating a Caesar salad....
[Seth Says] Channeling Dissatisfaction
Q: Where does a BBC host drown their sorrows?A: The English Channel As someone with a Netflix subscription, a Disney+ subscription, a partner who works at...
[Seth Says] Porks and Recreation
Shakespeare was a big fan of pork.That's why he wrote Hamlet. "To sleep, perchance to dream of BBQ. Aye, there's the rub." (Is BBQ rub a commonly-known...
[Seth Says] Five Things That Aren't Doomscrolling
Writing this as much for myself as for any of you because I am also a human being with empathy and thus also dislike reading about the constant advances of...
[Seth Says] A Vacation...
..from my problems! It's vacation time, which means that Debbie is off to enjoy a week on the beaches of Cape Cod, and I am not because last month I traveled...
[Seth Says] Wedding Bells Are Ringing!
...but not for me. Of course, I'm married to my work. And not to the corporate work that brings in the big money (much to my father's dismay), but to the...
[Seth Says] All Out Of Poems
"Roses are redI'm so lost without blue..." With April now over, so is National Poetry Month and also my usual poem-a-day practice which I maintain for the...
[Seth Says] Almost Fun!
I would like to see a company sell candy bars the size of a full-grown human, and call them Really Fun Size. Making candy very small doesn't make it fun. Of...
[Seth Says] Fear My Inept Kung Fu!
Q: What martial art do you use on a challah thief?A: Judo. Hiya, folks! Or I guess alternatively, Hi-ya! Folks! I've got martial arts on the brain (should...
[Seth Says] Feast of St. Reuben
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?A: It was cheaper than flying them out. Greetings, Friends! Like a pot-smoking ghost or top-shelf...