Reading sets my heart on fire
Go all in with your special interests and reap the benefits
Hi friends,
Keen bean Wavy Readers may remember earlier this year that I wrote a newsletter about not having a special interest anymore. Having no special interest to dive into and lose myself in is pretty unusual for me. It made me feel so empty and at sea.
Special interests serve a number of purposes. Not only do I get to scratch that ever present itch of acquiring knowledge and learning new things, but I also tend to use the interest as a way of helping me regulate my own emotions. Engaging in special interests settles and calms me down.
“Why did you used to watch the same videos of the Bee Gees over and over again, Ren?” Familiarity, comfort, and the hilarious haircuts, of course.
It was discombobulating to not have an anchor point that I could return to in times of stress.
In that newsletter, I wrote:
Until the next time my full attention is grabbed and the strong pull of a special interest is felt, I’ll keep on reading, and writing, and listening, and experiencing the world as fully as I can.
So I did. Then I realised something. Reading and writing are my special interests. It’s quite funny that I took so long to realise this.
As an experiment, I gave both my full focus for the first time ever. Before this year, writing and reading were just run of the mill parts of my life like eating and sleeping. I’d never really given either my full attention or let them sweep me away into those kinds of hyperfocus adventures that special interests can pull you in to. As a result, reading books, and writing creatively, have both taken over my life. I have absolutely adored it.
Taking reading seriously this year has been joyous. Since I went through my last episode of autistic burnout over a year ago, I have made really deliberate decisions to protect my time and energy. In my twenties, I had no energy to read anything. I’d spend my energy on masking and trying to fit in. At night, I’d come home totally exhausted. Never mind reading, it was a struggle to make myself something to eat in the evenings. I would just sit on my sofa completely dazed, until it was time to go to sleep. It was an unfulfilling, miserable existence to say the least.
Making decisions that put my wellbeing first has made such a difference to my mindset. Saying ‘no’ more, prioritising my own needs (recognising I have needs!!), quitting my addiction to Instagram, and ultimately finding environments where I could unmask safely have all saved me so much energy that I could invest back into reading and writing.
I am the happiest I have ever been in my adult life. How lucky I am to have arrived at this point.
Now I spend my recreational time immersing myself in the words of authors past and present. I feel like I am playing catch up, trying to read as widely as I can. There is so much to read that the option paralysis can be a bit overwhelming.
Escaping into other worlds through novels has helped my wellbeing whilst benefitting my own writing. I will not bore you with reviews of every single thing I have read, but if you’re interested in what I did read this year I’ve left a list at the bottom of this newsletter!
The history and context surrounding books and authors has been really interesting to learn too. I regularly spend evenings reading the Wikipedia pages of famous authors. Franz Kafka will forever be my favourite drama king (take a look at some of his diary entries). I listen to podcasts that interview authors about their careers. I go to literary events and tell authors my life story for no reason. The stories of authors who have been published are all very inspirational and show that there is no one way to become a successful author. Even the word ‘success’ is woolly. We define our own success, after all.
My new found interest in taking reading seriously has led me to read literary journals like Granta and magazines like the London Review of Books and the New Yorker. Expanding my media diet has led to a reduced intake of slop and far more long form writing, including some brilliant newsletters. These magazines, journals and newsletters have not only broadened my own horizons in terms of exposing me to new ways of thinking and new perspectives, but they have also helped me become a better writer, I feel. Basically reading more stuff that I wouldn’t have before has been a game changer. (Also some of the books themselves have led me to mini special interests. After reading The Secret History, I immediately started learning about Socrates…)
Falling deeper into this interest has led me to think about how I record this journey through the notebooks I keep. I’ve started a commonplace book to write down all the interesting quotes I read. Recently I completed the first double page spread of this notebook, which felt like a small yet significant accomplishment. I can’t wait to look back on this notebook in a year’s time when it is hopefully filled with lots of interesting quotes from books and magazines I have read.
The reading habit has emboldened one of my other ‘hobbies’. I have a slight penchant for going to charity shops and buying second hand books (it’s a totally separate hobby from reading them). Over the last few years I’ve ended up with a wonderful mini library. The routine when visiting the charity shops, the pattern spotting when scanning over the spines of the books on display, and the thrill of finding a great copy of a book you’ve been after for a fraction of the price of what it retails at (I recently found a new copy of War and Peace for 50p - that’s my 2026 summer reading sorted), all of it is special to me. What a joy.
My special interest was there all along. Giving myself ‘permission’ to indulge in it - to buy that book, to take time for reading, to write something without pressure - has been the best decision I could have made.
2025 was my year of words and creativity. I’m hoping 2026 is more of the same!
Write with me?
Here’s a little idea which I have basically stolen from this fantastic post by
How would people feel if I offered a really relaxed and low pressure online writing retreat via Zoom? We could structure it like a ‘proper’ writing retreat with writing time, maybe a few prompts/exercises, some social time/breakout rooms etc? Of course screens off would be an option too!
I might charge a small £5 fee, keeping it low considering I’ve never ran one before. Paid members would get access for free. It wouldn’t be long either, maybe an afternoon, limited to a certain number of places, and no pressure to take part in everything.
Let me know by replying to this email or leaving a comment if this would be something that would interest you and if you have any suggestions. If I get enough interest I’ll do it!
Also, just an FYI for anyone who wants to message me on the Substack app. I can no longer use my Chat function because, with the Online Safety Act in the UK, Substack needs to verify your age, and, call me old-fashioned, but at present I don’t trust giving my biometric data to some rando just so I can read your at-times-unhinged DMs. Email reply to my newsletters or comment below if you want to ask me anything.
Have a lovely week and take it easy,
Ren
PS. Here are the books I have read this year. It is a bit of a mix!
(If you purchase any of these books using the affiliate links above for bookshop.org, I receive commission. Bookshop.org gives 80% of its profit margin to indie bookstores.)
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