Hi Friends!

It's interesting how the moment November started, I got a cold. Feels like a sign. Aside from that October was spent having existential dread, because my welfare application took until the last day of the Month to be approved.

I sadly also relapsed on my "I'm done posting" thing, but I think I found an approach that makes it all much less frustrating.

I have more thoughts about my general relationship with social media, but that's not for here.

Gamedev-News

I've been working hard to get a basic demo version of Eswahr Eternal ready, since I figured that it might be the best way for me to get some kind of reliable impression on how well the game actually works when it's in the hands of strangers.

The other reason is because I think it might help me with being better prepared once the next Steam Next Fest rolls around. Virtue's Heaven's Demo was famously very broken way back when and it caused me a lot of stress and time to fix things. 

I'm still waiting for the Demo to be public on Steam (it's in Valve review queue right now), but you can already download it on itch, if you want to give it a look. Again, it's a bit early and some parts are still not quite where I want them, but it's fully playable and should give you an idea on what to expect once the full game is out:

Eswahr Eternal by MOKKA

Kill the King, Take his Throne and rule the Land for Eternity

Blogpost-Shares

Some rather well-known indiedevs have dropped their pants a bit when it comes to using AI to make games and I was once again compelled to blog about it. I especially took issue with the notion that using AI to make your own games is acceptable, because it's already being used in the production of most of the tools and programs that are used to make games and how it all relates to that phrased "there's no ethical consumption under Capitalism":

I also wrote another Devlog for Eswahr Eternal

Interesting things I played/watched/read

The first two links are related to that whole "I used AI to to make my game" shit that was going on in October. I found both of these posts pretty nice to read:

I Gave Up And You Should Too! – killswitch

MULTI-TRACK VAGUEPOSTING

Obviously there are parts to Michael Brough's reality as a Game Designer that I can't relate to, but I definitely feel similar to how he describes his relationship between how he feels about his own work, its critical reception and the financial reality of it all.

I really felt this at the end of October, when it wasn't clear if my welfare would be renewed in time for me to pay my rent in November. It also just so happened that I got a very cheery rejection email from a publisher for a pitch I send them months ago and I was just thinking how every person who rejected one of my job applications or game proposals too is responsible for the fact that I was facing a potential eviction from a place I've been living in for 15 years.

Obviously my application went through and the ball has been kicked further down the road, but I would like for things to be different at some point.

While I personally don't think you need to have specific reasons to put players in unfair situations or traps, I nonetheless did enjoy reading this blog about the various reasons why doing so might actually be good. Please read through and be it only for the example videos:

Why I Love Unfair Traps in Arcade Games - DUCK_BERET

A defense of unavoidable, hard memo, unfair traps in arcade games. I genuinely think they're a good thing.

I have finished reading Eye of the Heron by Ursula LeGuin. I started reading it right around when the big protests in Minnesota happened and couldn't bring myself to continue, because parts of the book felt just too close to what was currently going on over there. But I slowly plucked away at it during my monthly doctor's appointments and I was a bit surprised when I reached the end. I feel it sort of went nowhere with its premise to be honest, but I just like the way LeGuin describes things? Somewhere in her stories there's always at least one passage that makes me go "oh, this describes some kind of profound feeling I've been having but could not describe properly" and I think it's good when stories do that.

(Trails-) Games I played:

My journey through the Trails series continued as I played through both Trails from Zero and Trails to Azue, or "The Crossbell Arc" as it seems to be known.

It's interesting how these two games build a bridge between Trails in the Sky and Trails from Cold Steel, both in fiction, but also in a broader sense. The Crossbell games to me did a similarly good job in making me actually invested in the wider cast's motivations and wishes. The first game also really nails one specific moment that's related to something set up towards the end of Trails in the Sky 2 & 3.

However, the Crossbell games also really start going down the route of perpetually sexualising almost every female character in the game, regardless of their age. In these games it's impossible for a male character to talk to a woman without it being framed as somehow flirty or romantically charged and it does get annoying when this is all it ever does. Also when everything is somehow romantic, then there's no space for any relationships to actually develop, because then some of these would have to stop being romantic, right? 

Cold Steel 1 & 2 were similar and I've started Cold Steel 3 and I feel it's even worse. I wish they would do less of it, to be honest.

Still, there aren't that many games out there where one of the major plot points revolves around large scale Tax reforms and how that's somehow related to all the wider magical conspiracy stuff that's also been happening. Both Cold Steel and the Crossbell games also at least try to tackle the reality of a small country that is being subjugated by a larger Empire and while they stumble a bunch, they at least acknowledge the complicated reality that comes from it.

It was also really interesting to go back to Cold Steel 1&2 and read the in-game newspapers, which referred to events from the Crossbell games, but from the perspective of the conquering Empire.

For all its problems, Cold Steel is at least aware that being part of the Imperial core makes you oblivious to the reality of the people outside of it.

I kind of dread where the games are going, because they seem to be committed to making Rean Schwarzer into the Special Boy, which I don't think he has earned, ever.

I’m trying to limit myself to one Trails game per Month from now on, because they’ve started to get a bit expensive and from what I can tell a bit more lengthy as well.

Anyway, see you in December!