If you made it past the title to the first line, congratulations – you’ve already passed the first test.

Anticipation of discomfort is enough to stop many in their tracks and cause them to turn away.

I’m sure there’s a deep-rooted survival-of-the-species type explanation for this, that someone far cleverer than me could explain. Maybe in these cosseted modern times (in the majority of the ‘West’, at least, and especially for Pale People of Privilege) this instinct is largely disfunct, rearing its head at medical appointments, before presentations, or occasionally saving our lives by deterring us from dark alleyways at night.

Psychologically, it bears the hallmarks of a protective mechanism, and we can’t be blamed for heeding the nag in the back of our mind and the twist in our gut that tells us something’s ‘off’.

When it comes to supporting people in dire need, however, our discomfort can be a barrier, especially if we save ourselves the concern by averting our attention before we even hear about their struggles.

Dunbar’s number proposes that we can only manage relationships with about 150 people – the emotional investment, time investment and psychological load required for more than this causes us to max out. Beyond that, we flounder, group people into ‘other’, don’t or can’t really register what’s going on with them in the same way as if it happened to ourselves or a loved one. 

Our discomfort is then also (uncomfortably) mixed with our propensity to dehumanise others, especially when viewing them as groups rather than individuals. Again, this may be a self-protective mechanism to avoid empathy burnout or sheer combustion with rage at the injustices we see on our screens daily. On those bases it’s perhaps understandable we avoid engagement. But…

…our desire to avoid discomfort can turn into a very quick ‘check out’ of situations where we might feel a pang or two, and this can become a habit.

As Pale People of Privilege, not only does this habit prevent us from engaging with critical thinking about the nature of our privilege, our accountability with regard to doing what we can with what we have, and our responsibility to our fellow human; it also reinforces the status quo.

As (I hope) you’ve noticed, the status quo isn’t very pleasant – at least for those at the bottom of the piles according to patriarchy, capitalism and white supremacy, and exponentially worse for people stuck where those ideologies overlap. Choosing to disengage from the harm caused by these systems is a solid lean into privilege - but one that needs work to avoid, as avoidance of this discomfort is the ingrained default.

So what happens when we decentre our discomfort?

It’s uncomfortable. It’s not easy.

Yes.

But discomfort doesn’t kill us, hard work builds character, and both can be positive influences.

The advantage for us when we leave our comfort zone and step into being uncomfortable, is that this is where our best learning can happen.

If we can reject the insulation of our comfort zone, and begin grappling with the cognitive dissonance that lies beyond, we can then endeavour to learn from folks with lived experience of being multiply marginalised, and start to unhook ourselves from the lies that keep us trapped in complicity with the systems of oppression. YAY!

But why should we, if it’s uncomfortable and a bunch of effort?

That’s the ultimate choice that each of us Pale People of Privilege has to make, sometimes multiple times a day.

What’s more important to us? Our comfort and ease? Or other people’s whole lives, often quite literally?

Because that’s what it comes down to.

Choosing comfort and ease is buying a new phone, shopping at Shein or Temu if we don’t have to, getting Amazon Prime, enjoying Starbucks, McDonald’s, buying from Nestle and playing on Chat GPT. Choosing comfort and ease is deciding to ‘stay out of politics’, ignoring mutual aid requests, and laughing along (or at least, not making it awkward) at sexist, racist, or ableist jokes.

Choosing comfort and ease is undermining or dismissing criticism of our favourite celebrities, deciding the ‘art is more important than the artist’ and avoiding ‘tricky’ conversations about Harry Potter, Ed Sheeran, politicians, or the royal family. Choosing comfort and ease is ignoring boycotts to stop global violence, because it's inconvenient to shop elsewhere.

Us choosing comfort and ease is killing people in the DR Congo, in Palestine, in Sudan. Us choosing comfort and ease is perpetuating exploitation in sweatshops in India, Pakistan, and China. Us choosing comfort and ease is funding child slavery and sending profits to the bosses who choose not to stop it. It’s ripping off independent artists, poisoning the water, causing widespread ecological devastation, and enabling the powers that be to continue getting away with it. It’s leaving toxic workplaces unchallenged and allowing hateful bigots to interfere with legislative development, with international repercussions for marginalised people.

It’s telling everyone who knows us that our comfort and ease is more important than anything, up to and including multiple kinds of genocide. Choosing comfort and ease shows our solidarity is nowhere and our integrity is for sale.

Ouch!

Are you that kind of person? Am I?

Or can we handle a little discomfort for the greater good? I feel like we should be able to, right? Even if it’s baby steps and not all at once. PROGRESS is what matters. Change counts.

Can you start by sharing this newsletter with someone else? What else can you do?

[segue into]

SOLIDARITY SHOWCASE

A new feature (yay!) for highlighting the industrious endeavours of BIGEM folks, whose businesses will benefit from support from us Pale People of Privilege. One easy win is to share their links on your socials. A bigger win is signing up or buying something and leaving a glowing review.

This time I'd love to get your eyes on Jackson's Ever-Expanding AYTFA Emporium:

There are membership tiers on Kofi and Patreon

There's a fantastic graphics shop, that also offers commissions.

And theres a BRAND NEW Zoom scheduler, newsletter AND Redbubble shop for IRL merch!

I bought some awesome stickers from the RB shop; the quality is epic, and I love how they look. I went with 'Low Budget #Batman' as I felt this was somewhat fitting! Even those of us with low budgets can nonetheless make a difference with online uplift, sharing with our friends, and pushing support in the direction of folks like Jackson, who are struggling to keep their survival needs met.

Next time: a booklist, for those of you who are ready to take the next steps out of your comfort zone and into the learning zone.