Engage: With a New Skill (One Step at a Time)
In this edition, I'm inviting you to explore a new skill in a paced way using small measurable steps.
Dear fellow parent,
Welcome back. However you’ve arrived — scrolling on your phone in the car park between summer camp drop-offs, with your laptop balanced beside the hob, or in a rare quiet moment with a cup of tea — I’m glad you made it.
Last time with our Engage newsletter, we talked about doing something just for you.
Today’s invitation builds on that, and it comes with a twist:
Engage with a new skill — for yourself, for your child, or together.
If you’re parenting a child with developmental differences, you’re no stranger to goals, charts, and “next steps.” Sometimes those structures help. Sometimes they strip joy out of learning.
This week, I want you to try something that holds both:
A new skill and a gentler way of approaching it.
In Now and Next™ and through the Pictability visioning tool, both the parenting kit and the young adult kit (Youth Quest), we often start by imagining a future that excites us — then breaking it down into micro steps so small they feel almost too easy. These steps are powerful because they bypass overwhelm. They get us moving without the pressure to prove ourselves.
So:
Choose one skill that lights you up, even if it feels “impractical” or unrelated to the usual to-do list.
Name one micro step you can take toward it this week or even now.
It could be:
For your child: Learning the sign for one new word you can use together.
For both of you: Asking your child to show you how they use a favourite app.
For your own care: Trying one short breathing exercise from a free meditation app before bed.
For your own growth: Watching a 10-minute tutorial on how to take better phone photos (and practising on something that delights you).
For shared curiosity: Reading the first page of a book you’ve been curious about, then telling your child one thing it made you think about. I did this yesterday and it started a conversation!
The magic is in the scale — so small it’s hard to fail.
And here’s the deeper layer: in a world that measures our worth in speed, output, and achievement, moving at the pace of micro steps is an act of care. It’s a way of resisting the push to “hurry up” and instead honouring the rhythm that actually works for your family.
When we — and our children — explore skills with no outcome to prove, we loosen the grip of a system that treats skills as tools for productivity rather than for living. We compost its “hurry” and “perform” messages into something gentler: curiosity, connection, and play.
I spent two days recently with a group of young adults who are members of the Down Syndrome association completing Now and Next™ Youth Quest. The participants goals were big including becoming a movie extra or passing Leaving Certificate Applied, but their steps to getting there were small. One step included researching on google where there are local acting classes in their community and sending a quick WhatsApp or Facebook message to the teacher. Step one completed!
Try this:
Pick one new skill/dream/hope. Identify step 1. Make it manageable so that you can achieve it now or in the next few days. Notice how it feels to achieve. That’s it.
Here is the Micro/Tiny Step Map
Dream → Imagine a future/idea/skill that excites you. For example, passing the Leaving Certificate Applied.
Name It → Identify one skill that supports it. Example- Studying everyday
Shrink It → Break it into a micro step so small it’s almost too easy. Example- Set up a space in my home where I can study.
Do It → Take that step now or over the next few days. Example- Identify with my family a place to put my desk and chair and have a place to store my books.
Notice → How did it feel? What shifted? For our group, it was a sense that this is something the participant can achieve. There are ways they can build up to achieving their goal of passing their Leaving Certificate Applied.
A Glimpse Ahead:
Next time, we’ll move into Adapt.
Until then:
One breath for your child’s way of learning.
One breath for your own curiosity.
And one for the possibility that the smallest steps can open the biggest doors.