Dear fellow parent,

Thank you for being here. Maybe you’re reading this while waiting in the school car park. However you’ve landed here, I’m glad we’re together.

Last time in Engage, we explored engaging in a new skill using small steps to just begin.

Last week in our Lean in newsletter we mentioned ways of being at school and therapy meetings. Body, Story and Breath. This theme is staying with me as I am moving in this space of engaging with schools at the moment and am looking for a way to stay with my child’s strengths and abilities as I discuss their needs with the school support team.

So, this week, we look at further examples, (adding to Body, Story and Breath), of engaging in steps that may support how you are in school/therapy meetings:

Engage.

As we have talked about previously, Engage doesn’t mean piling on more. It means practicing small skills that shift how we meet our children and the systems around them.

The Engage Practice: 3 Simple Steps

1. Ground
Before a meeting, or in the middle of one, plant your feet firmly on the ground. Notice where your body feels tight. Take one slow breath into that place.

Why it matters: Your body is a compass. Grounding steadies the nervous system so you can respond, not just react.

2. Reframe
When you see deficit language on a form, create your own column. For each “can’t,” write a “can.” For each “weakness,” name a strength. I have needed to do this in conversation with schools. It is so easy to get caught up in the language of ‘not able to or can’t do’ as it relates to how schools structure their learning.

Why it matters: This keeps your child’s wholeness in view. It reminds you (and sometimes the school/therapy service) that every deficit story has other layers.

3. Name
Tell your child what you notice about their spark:
“I love how you notice details others miss.”
“I saw how kind you were when you shared today.”

Why it matters: Children internalise what we name. You are planting seeds of strength, curiosity, and belonging. This can counter the internalised language they may be hearing from their school or peers when they are struggling to perform within the restrictions of our current school systems.

This week, try it like this:

• Ground: In your next stressful moment, pause, plant your feet, breathe once deeply.

• Reframe: Take one “deficit” label and write your own “strength” column beside it.

• Name: Speak one strength out loud to your child today.

A Glimpse Ahead:

Next time, we’ll continue with the “A” in our L-E-A-D framework:

Adapt

And always:

Before you close this email, take one breath for yourself, and one for your child.
Not the child described in a single report.
The layered, luminous child who called you into becoming.

May we ground.
May we reframe.
May we name.
May we engage with love.