Engage
Explore the art of engaging in joy without justification and reclaiming time just for yourself.
Dear fellow parent,
Welcome back. However you got here — scrolling at midnight, reading in the supermarket car park, or with one eye on the hob as dinner cooks — I’m glad you made it.
In our last Engage edition, we explored gratitude—not as a performance, but as a flicker of presence, a way to feel tethered even on unsteady ground.
Today, I want to offer a new invitation:
Engage with something that is just for you.
Not because you’ve “earned it.”
Not because it will help you “bounce back.”
But because you are still here. And that is enough.
If you’re parenting a child with developmental differences, you know how often time is framed as something to manage, optimize, or recover. There's always another form to fill out, another therapy to consider, another conversation to navigate.
This week, I want to suggest something quieter, maybe even uncomfortable:
What if you don’t owe anyone a justification for your joy?
I’m not talking about spa days or lifestyle trends dressed up as “self-care.”
I’m talking about the slow reclaiming of time from the grasp of systems that treat both you and your child as problems to be solved.
I’m talking about:
Ten minutes with a hobby that makes no sense to anyone but you.
A half-finished book you read in the bathtub and forget to finish.
Music that isn’t soothing, but moves something.
This isn’t about escape.
It’s about engagement — with the parts of you that haven’t disappeared, even if they’ve gone quiet.
And yes, I know it can feel impossible. When you're holding so much, even naming what you want can feel like a betrayal.
But what if it’s a seed?
Not a seed for change you can measure.
Just a seed for presence. For aliveness. For reminding your nervous system that it belongs too.
Try this:
Choose one small thing this week that is just for you.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Notice what stories come up.
Do you feel guilty? Silly? Indulgent? Sit gently beside that voice. It might be trying to protect you from a world that hasn’t always been safe for your rest.
Let your child see you caring for yourself.
Even if they don’t name it, they’re watching. You are teaching something deep: that everyone deserves space to be more than what the world expects of them.
These past few weeks I have been reading about family carers and the supports offered by Family Carers Ireland
They have a statistic that shocked me when I initially read it but as I thought about it further, it totally made sense. 1 in 5 of us will become a carer. Some of us are carers now but because we don’t see what we are doing as being a carer we don’t avail of the many supports available through family carers Ireland. Have a look at what they offer and you never know what you might find.
A Glimpse Ahead
Next time, we’ll move into Adapt.
Until then:
One breath for your child.
One breath for the parts of you that feel far away.
And one for the possibility that you are already enough.