Reminder Reads
Dear Reader,
Sometimes reads serve as useful reminders. I’ve had plenty of novels where I hit a line and was swiftly reminded of some central human need, some reality of human psychology.
There’s the nostalgia read, too, which produces a particular kind of reminder. I’m not exploring the nostalgia read today, as that’s already been attended to. (I guess technically there’s another form which the nostalgia read might take—say, a historical book revisiting a once-familiar era—but I don’t know how far down that road I’d like to go. For something suggestive of that road’s sights, however, try out “On the Monster Beat” from The New Atlantis.)
The reminder read is fairly simple. Religious writing often serves the purpose of offering reminder—especially the more didactive or wisdom genres. Sometimes those reminders are welcome, sometimes less so.
Religious writing, though, isn’t what inspired this piece. It wasn’t novels or even books on reading that suggested it to me. It was instead the oft-maligned business book that served as inspiration for today’s reconsideration.
I’ll give two small examples before turning to others within the realm of reminder reads—and then close. Today’s isn’t a ponderous reflection.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
A friend used to note that she could tell the dudes who’d read this book. And I know exactly the type.
Ever felt someone was putting on the charm a little thick, perhaps even a little awkwardly? Like, the angle of charm was just askew a tad?
(They aren’t even remotely the same thing—though they can sometimes attract individuals of similar social ineptitude—but there’s a reason this type of off-kilter charmer gives one the same willies as pickup artist adherents to The Game. Those not-so-smooth-talking social gamers inhabit a similar does-this-move-you-like-it-should ethos. That is, they’re shooting for social manipulation.)
Where Carnegie’s goofily titled, human nature classic avoids this awkward-sauce placement is when it’s a reminder read. That is, it’s wicked easy to get lost in yourself, your own thinking, your own preferences. Remembering that someone dislikes salmon if you’re preparing food for them isn’t a matter of social manipulation—it’s a matter of simple courtesy. Some of those courteous remembrances and habits get forgotten in the bustle of life. Good friends can, of course, offer us the same reminders that How to Win Friends and Influence People does. But in case our friends don’t or our friends have slipped into the same bad habits we have, Carnegie’s book can provide useful reminder of minimally decent human behavior. You might be surprised how necessary that reminder can be until you’ve had it…
The weirdo on Zoom who says your first name about ten times per conversation is the one who internalized the wrong lesson from Carnegie. Yes, people like to have their names pronounced and spelled properly. No, people don’t like hearing their names that many times in a single conversation. They don’t feel closer to you from the repetition.
Where Carnegie is useful is as a reminder read; where he becomes in excess is when he’s the polestar. Prudence remains undefeated as a necessary element in life.
(Perhaps of some amusement, I still assign Carnegie for one of my reading courses. The subsequent reading with which it’s paired more than serves as corrective to any socially-challenged charmers. In the context of the rest of that course, Carnegie serves an important purpose, though.)
Jonah Berger and Contagious
So I realize that I might have thrown a soft bit of shade Adam Grant’s way the other day, and it might seem strange that I now prop up his buddy somewhat favorably. Jonah Berger does seem to inhabit a similar place as Grant, but one particular book of his, Contagious, fits within today’s theme.
After reading the book, I remember reading several reviews of it that went something like “these things are all obvious for selling stuff.” And indeed, they are. Except things are not always obvious when you’re in the middle of running a small business and trying to attend mentally to all the things that running a business requires. That is, sometimes you need a flipping reminder of those “basics” that are “obvious” to everyone. This is not least because you don’t always have that mental pause to think through what you should attend to next.
There’s another thing: if you’re new to business—say, a college grad or someone who’s just invented a product and is moving from a different line of work—not all of the obvious things are obvious. While they might be things you’d have stumbled across for volunteering work or just from observing your own purchasing habits, not every business lesson (and Contagious offers primarily a business lesson) transfers across domain. That flicker of insight doesn’t always appear, not without reminder.
Contagious is most certainly not a remarkable book. But as a reminder read, it does its job quite capably. To hammer it for not being profound is reasonable, but to hammer it for being “obvious” is to overlook how often we humans need reminder of the obvious.
A great genre for the reminder read is, of course, the genre of books on writing. As those are supposed to have their own series in this newsletter, I’ll leave that genre alone for the most part. I’ll simply say here that many books on writing aren’t primarily useful for their novelty, not after one’s been writing for a bit. They are, however, helpful reminders for most writers.
(I can’t speak for the very best of writers, but even for those, unless they have a keen editor, they’ll likely make occasional use of a dictionary or citation guide or whatnot to keep their writing clean.)
My favorite reminder reads come from fiction, I must say. Whether it’s a story reminding me of some mathematical truth—yes, such stories do exist—or a story reminding of something so humble as an underused word, there’s joy in receiving a reminder from such an unexpected place.
So how about for you? Ever have a read trigger a reminder? Do some reads offer better reminder than others? Or has today’s read merely served to remind you of Carnegie’s unfortunate Zooming acolytes? I guess not all reminders are felicitous!
Happy reading to you,
Kreigh
P.S. No, today’s piece was not the promised one on the grinding read. I’ve got something else I’ve got to finish before that lengthier piece can be released. It’ll come soon, though! In the meantime, I can offer you this outstanding essay on illness, data, and the human person. It’s a less dour piece than that description sounds—indeed, for its subject matter, it’s a surprisingly catchy and enjoyable read. If you’re desirous of a paired read this week, read it alongside “Off-Label Scripts. Those two pieces play off each other quite engagingly.