THE BREAD PART OF BREAD AND ROSES
The doctor put her hands over my liver/She told me my resentment's getting smaller…
Hi Bestie!!
I am on week two feeling absolutely furious. During some workdays, I have felt mean. One afternoon, I thought the feeling had washed away, but then a series of unfortunate events happened during my lunch hour, and it came roaring back with such ferocity that I could have pushed your enemies into traffic. (A jury would never convict. D'Angelo had just died, proving that there is no justice in the world of our making.)
A very wise person I know told me a few months ago that it's OK to be angry. She said guilt and shame are the only "bad" feelings because "You can't do anything with them," which is especially true of me and probably anyone with a whiff of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I can accomplish a lot when I'm angry. This would probably not please my very wise friend, who has been begging me to find worth outside of productivity for many years. It's all bread and roses for your friends, but never for you. Where is the worth supposed to spring from? My confidence and satisfaction? Ha!
I was so mad about the White House and the government shutdown Wednesday night that I got off the subway near tears. I exited through the turnstile and passed a woman who was fumbling through her purse for her MTA or OMNY Card. "Hey, do you want a swipe?" Oh, the sight I must have been! Hot pink hair with dark roots and wet, angry eyes. "I'm going to swipe you in and save you the time. Have a nice day!" I was probably listening to Jim Croce while it all happened, too.
I have a great capacity for love, I thought, without a hint of smugness, which is hard to believe in print. "Maybe my birthday came early," I thought, and began to worry that the next decade would be non-stop ire and my heart would grow so big it would make The Grinch look like Nosferatu. This is a lot of preamble, but I hope some of you are laughing. (Just give us the recipe!)
I have a landmark birthday coming up next month. Shortly after I turned 30, I read that when people (but especially women) turn 30, they are freed of the petty worries they had in their youth. You care less about what people think about you. (Steve from Blue's Clues and I are still waiting for this luxury to manifest.) I read that 40 is even greater, and 50 is too incredible to put into words. So I started asking around, because I woke up on my 30th birthday emotionally devastated and emotionally hungover (I was unemployed, things were very bad), but also feeling very, very free.
I will mention, "Hey, I'm furious like, all the time," at my next medical appointments, and this will likely have faded like a daydream before this newsletter is delivered to your inbox. (I did mention this at one appointment already, and we determined it's fine. It's the slough of growth.) This was originally a parenthetical.
When I was in middle school, my mom and I popped over to Walkersville Town Hall to drop off a check for GVAA soccer (I think; we might have been making a donation).
Town Hall hosts the food bank, and I was horrified by what I saw: mostly empty shelves with cans of food nobody wanted. I was furious; I still am.
I don't want to eat slimy green beans from a can, and neither does anyone else. With (a LOT) of my mom's help, I started Birthdays for Everyone at my school. We wrapped big, brown boxes (probably from Safeway) in wrapping paper, and I handed out flyers to every classroom asking families to buy an extra box of cake mix for their children's birthday. I collected the donations every few months and dropped them off at the food bank.
The man mystifyingly elected president closed the government, brought bulldozers to the White House, which is owned by the American people under the stewardship of the National Park Service (which is furloughed).
Millions of people are going to lose their benefits, even though every branch of the government is run by the GOP. (It's a sick irony that the
changes implemented by The Big Beautiful Bill begin November 1.)
SNAP is fully funded on the federal level. This is what they want. To paraphrase a meme, men would rather starve children than go to therapy. More than 42 million people, about 12% of the population, receive SNAP benefits. Most families receiving benefits have children, and 39% of the participants are
children. At approximately $177 per person, it hardly covers a person's monthly food budget. And yet, it is the most effective stopgap against hunger.
Oh, their parents should work harder, is a conversation we will never have, but I want to be really, really clear. Receiving benefits of any kind and having food insecurity is not a deficit of character but a systemic failing of our systems. Oh yeah, well, using drugs isn't a systemic failure. I think it is! We should not punish children because their parents are struggling, for any reason. The very idea that people have to fulfill work requirements or be drug tested is shameful (ooh, there it is) and ludicrous.
Globally, the No. 1 cause of food insecurity is conflict (WAR). In the U.S., it's income. We need to let people work full-time and earn enough money to afford food, healthcare, housing, and save. (We should provide affordable groceries, free healthcare, and free childcare.) I think we need to pay them enough to support themselves and their families.
Hey Katherine, where would we get the money? GLAD YOU ASKED! I'd tax the rich and pull funding from private prisons and the military. (Which spends so much money but not on its people.)
I care about this SO MUCH. I care about this so much that it's my "in lieu of flowers." If I drop dead (ie, get thrown in the East River for running my mouth), I'd rather you donate to the food bank than send flowers. (If you could show up to the service and tell LaVonne a story about me running my mouth that would be really nice, too. Hell, could you just show up?)
I looked into the idea of donating favorite foods when I moved to Brooklyn, and you can't. Most food banks prefer money. The money goes further. They also don't have to sort expired canned goods, either, which is probably helpful.
In addition to the absolute shit show we're living through, this is the time of year when offices and schools run canned food drives, so I did the research for relevant cities, and I've provided the foods I think you should donate instead.
Foods to Donate
Your favorite foods
Canned soup
Spaghetti O's (licensed characters encouraged)
Canned beans
Boxed broth
Cereal
Boxed milk
Cake mix/Dessert mix/Brownie mix
Canned frosting
Pudding cups/boxed pudding/Jell-O
Drink mix (Tang, Kool-Aid)
Apple sauce
Boxed and bottled drinks (Kool-Aid, Capri Sun, Yoo-hoo, Quik, etc.)
Boxed mashed potatoes
Name-brand treats (Little Debbie, Hostess, Utz, Cheetos, etc.)
Gold fish crackers
Cheez-Its
Name-brand peanut butter (Jif, Skippy, etc.)
Name-brand jam
Pasta and rice
Pasta sauce
Cheese sauce
Condiments (ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauce, ranch dressing, salad dressings, honey mustard, mambo sauce, etc.)
Seasonings (salt, pepper, Old Bay, etc.)
OIL is rarely donated but required by a lot of boxed items and needed for cooking (vegetable, canola, olive, etc)
Tea and coffee
Sugar and flour
Baby formula
Shelf-stable food that is vegan and/or gluten-free
Nuts
Not everyone has a can opener at home, so try to buy cans with a pop top. Check with your local food bank before donating!
Household items
Diapers
Laundry detergent
Dish soap and detergent
Hand soap
Cleaning supplies
Sanitary pads/tampons
Deodorant
Shampoo, conditioner, and soap
Toothpaste, tooth brushes, dental floss, and mouthwash
Hair care products (leave-in conditioner, gel, mousse, etc.)
First aid supplies (buy the pretty Band-Aids)
Here's the rundown across the country; I have not verified these on Charity Navigator, but I'm not going to share anything I don't feel good about.
Los Angeles
Los Angeles Regional Food Bank prefers money. (Donate here, volunteer
here, get resources here.) They say $25 provides up to 100 meals.
Maryland
The Glade Valley Food Bank, in Walkersville, provides curbside service and is staffed by volunteers. There is a drop-box for non-perishable food, and it is checked daily. The Food Bank also accepts checks.
There are eligibility requirements; here's info about volunteering.
For non-food items, such as blankets and coats, "The GVCS Community Thrift Shop drop box located at the entrance to St. Paul's Lutheran Church Parish Hall parking lot located at 19 West Pennsylvania, Walkersville."
New York
City Harvest delivers fresh food (86 million lbs this year) to area food banks through food rescue. You can volunteer or donate**. 70% of the food they deliver is fresh produce.
Food Bank for NYC delivers and rescues food for/with 800 community partners. You can volunteer** or donate.
God's Love We Deliver (an alma mater for one of you!) provides medically tailored meals for New Yorkers who are ill (cancer, HIV/AIDS, etc.). They are not religious. You can support them financially and volunteer.
SAGE provides for NYC LGBTQ+ seniors. This isn't explicitly food-based, but includes community services, housing, etc. The brewery donated to SAGE and a member of the community explained during a drag show that some of its clients include people who lost their families when they came out decades ago, and here, have a tissue while we cry about that reality. They do great work.
New York Cares has started its coat drive; if you have coats to donate, please consider doing so. To find out where and when and work around your schedule, visit the website. They also take monetary donations; they say $25 helps ten New Yorkers. (If you want me to look up donation information for your town, reply to this email.)
Anything is better than those yellow boxes, by the way. Planet Aid is a scam; here's an article about funding, and here is the first article I could find about donations. (And it's a cult?)
Related: If you need to dispose of textiles, the city will take them. More info here.
Food banks (and shelters) sometimes provide diapers or sanitary products. Donating money to organizations that do is always great, and those include the Alliance for Period Supplies, The Period Pantry Project, the National Diaper Bank Network, and North Brooklyn Mutual Aid. All of these websites provide details on how to make a financial donation and where to donate items. (HALF of U.S. families struggle with diaper needs!) Churches near you may also provide aid. My feelings on this are mixed, as some churches might require people to pray before receiving aid, and I am vehemently opposed to that. (Eat shit, Rescue Mission.)
An aside: the Salvation Army is not our friend. You either help everyone or you help no one.
Another idea for your office's charitable giving is organizations that cover the cost of heating and hot water in the winter. (In New York City, your heat and hot water are covered by the landlord if it's via gas/oil. It's among the many reasons to avoid newer builds, which do not offer that benefit.)
Finally, to find aid, visit findhelp.org. You may have seen the TikTok online; I saw it first from Samantha, so a big public thank you. It has everything from food (community gardens, food banks, emergency assistance) to housing, goods, transit, health care, money, education, employment, and legal aid. (I know a great housing attorney if you ever need one.) Transportation even has transportation for health care, which is something I have a lot to say about, in all caps.
I am scheduling this to go out on Saturday, which is the first day of early voting in New York City. I am sure all of you are going to vote for Zohran, because none of you would vote for a man who brags about his faith when he has clearly never read the New Testament. If he had, he'd keep his hands to himself. (To be clear, the problem is that Cuomo is a sex pest spending my tax dollars on his lawsuits.) I cannot imagine a single one of you nice people would vote for Sliwa, who opposes no-cash bail, is against Black Lives Matter, and supports stop-and-frisk. The man organized his own police force, which is somehow both ineffective and a violent menace. He is also anti-immigrant. Finally, infuriatingly, he believes the Exonerated Five should be imprisoned. This man is a racist through and through; his ideals are dangerous, and if people would stop laughing about old, doddering white men, we might not have ended up in this trouble in the first place.
If you have concerns that green card holders and Haitian and Cuban immigrants enrolled in a parole program are able to receive SNAP benefits, please meet me in the bike lane.
If you read this in time, come to Coney Island USA Sunday! There's a pop-up market, Samantha is going to sing, and there's a family-friendly show. It's 1 p.m.-6 p.m. I'm going to wear a dress and eat Taco Bell. (I'm also vending.) By the way, did you see, the casino was voted out of the neighborhood!
Always your friend,
Katherine
Alliance for Period Supplies - It's That Time. *, 26 Sept. 2025, allianceforperiodsupplies.org/.
By the Numbers: Harmful Republican Megabill Takes Food Assistance Away from Millions of People, www.cbpp.org/research/food-assistance/by-the-numbers-harmful-republican-megabill-takes-food-assistance-away-from. Accessed 23 Oct. 2025.
"Coat Drive." New York Cares, www.newyorkcares.org/coat-drive. Accessed 24 Oct. 2025.
"Data." Children Accounted for about 39 Percent of SNAP Participants in Fiscal Year 2023, USDA Economic Research Service, www.ers.usda.gov/data-products/chart-gallery/chart-detail. Accessed 22 Oct. 2025.
"Findhelp.Org by Findhelp - Search and Connect to Social Care." Findhelp.Org, www.findhelp.org/. Accessed 24 Oct. 2025.
"Food Bank." Glade Valley Community Services, 10 Sept. 2025, gladevalley.org/food-bank/.
"Garden Song - Phoebe Bridgers." YouTube, youtu.be/ekXfx-rQ3Ww?si=f2fgOS1xIuhngVIe. Accessed 22 Oct. 2025.
"Home." City Harvest, 1 Oct. 2025, www.cityharvest.org/.
"Home." Food Bank For NYC, 17 Oct. 2025, www.foodbanknyc.org/.
"Home: Sage USA." SAGE, 25 Sept. 2025, www.sageusa.org/.
"Index." National Diaper Bank Network, 27 June 2025, nationaldiaperbanknetwork.org/.
Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, 29 Sept. 2025, www.lafoodbank.org/.
Many Low-Income People Will Soon Begin to Lose Food Assistance under Republican Megabill, www.cbpp.org/research/food-assistance/many-low-income-people-will-soon-begin-to-lose-food-assistance-under. Accessed 23 Oct. 2025.
"Medically Tailored Meals for New Yorkers Living with Illness." God's Love We Deliver, 21 Oct. 2025, www.glwd.org/.
"Millions May Lose Snap Food Stamp Benefits If Shutdown Continues." The Washington Post, JEFF BEZOS OWNS THE WASHINGTON POST, www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2025/10/22/government-shutdown-snap-food-stamps/. Accessed 23 Oct. 2025.
North Brooklyn Mutual Aid, northbrooklynmutualaid.org/. Accessed 24 Oct. 2025.
"The Period Pantry Project." The Period Pantry Project, www.theperiodpantryproject.org/. Accessed 24 Oct. 2025.
Sam@Monumentstudio.co. "Planet Aid's Recycling Program, Debunked!" CharityWatch, 29 Nov. 2024, blog.charitywatch.org/planet-aid39s-recycling-program-debunked/.
Schusterman, Haley. "Navigating Snap's New Rules: A Guide for Recipients." NYC Food Policy Center (Hunter College), 22 Oct. 2025, www.nycfoodpolicy.org/navigating-snaps-new-rules-a-guide-for-recipients/.
Thompson, Tisha, et al. "Behind the Bins: Former Planet Aid Employees Describe ‘cult-like' Experience." NBC4 Washington, NBC4 Washington, 24 May 2016, www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/behind-the-bins-former-planet-aid-employees-describe-cult-like-experience/66461/.
Valle, Gaby Del. "The Salvation Army Says It Doesn't Discriminate against LGBTQ People. Critics Say That's Not True." Vox, 16 Dec. 2019, www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations.
Valle, Gaby Del. "The Salvation Army Says It Doesn't Discriminate against LGBTQ People. Critics Say That's Not True." Vox, 16 Dec. 2019, www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations.
"Volunteer & Donate." Glade Valley Community Services, 15 Oct. 2024, gladevalley.org/volunteer-and-donate/.
"White - Odd Future." YouTube, YouTube, www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFrJwd5Xvr4. Accessed 22 Oct. 2025.