SELF CARE PART 3 BB
Hi Bestie!!
Are you holding up OK?
It's the second-most wonderful time of the year when both the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Capitals are playing exceptionally well (if I'm lucky, it's spring and fall), so I am OK, considering the circumstances.
I have a lot of knowledge, so I spent the last several weeks putting together this newsletter and its infographics for us.
SELF CARE
We've discussed this before, but I don't see why we can't discuss it again: We need you for the fight. You need to take care of yourself. Here are some actions for what you can do when it's all too much:
- brush your teeth
- wash the dishes in your sink
- do a load of laundry
- sanitize touch points at home
- quit twitter if you haven’t been banned
- does your air filter need to be replaced?
- pick up a good book
- sort your piles
- clean your glasses (frames and lenses)
- clean the bathroom sink
- jolie kerr's 1-min night routine
- make dental and vision appointments
- set a date for your annual exam
- order new air filters
- restock your medicine cabinet
- restock your first-aid kit
- restock you go bag
- refill your prescriptions
- order masks and flu/covid tests
- get vaccinated and boosted (now!)
- get your hands on birth control and plan b
I can't emphasize health enough. Go to the doctor! Keep your teeth in order because when that slips, it all goes to hell, and so many hygienists are mean about mental health.
Everyone knows I love Ask A Clean Person. When I get ready to go to bed, I think of Jolie (and my mom) and feel grateful. Her night routine can be done at any time, though, and you'll have shifted your environment. This could be a me thing, given that my brain can't relax in certain conditions. If your brain is like that, too, neurodivergent or neurotypical, she has other distractions you might find beneficial.
Simply because I mentioned books to read last fall (Be Ready When Luck Happens, The Third Gilmore Girl), here are my gentle reading plans: Arnold Lobel's Frog and Toad books in the spring and Judy Blume's archives this summer. To be fully transparent, I'm re-reading The Death of Bernadette Lefthand by Ron Querry and will need Frog and Toad to feel better.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YESTERDAY
Please note that “you” includes your spouse, partner, children, and dependents.
- are you insured? (about your cat, is it insured?)
- are you up to date on your vaccines?
- renew your passport (regardless of expiration)
- renew your license/id
- order copies of your birth certificate and social security cards
- update your linked in now (friend me! they want to see a lot of connections.)
You need to renew your driver's license and passport, regardless of when your passport expires. This is especially true if your license and passport match your birth certificate. (If it doesn't match your birth certificate, you might not be able to renew it either. Passports and IDs with "X" gender are being held and not processed. Maiden names vs married names may be difficult. So unless news comes out that passports and IDs with names that don't match birth certificates are getting processed, standby.)
You need copies of your birth certificate and social security card. A random reel I saw on Instagram (not a reliable news source) by a woman who alleges that she worked for the United Nations recommended that you get backup copies and do the following: make digital copies and store them on your computer and a USB drive. Give the USB drive to a friend you trust. This seemed rational to me, so I'm sharing it. (I have not done it, but I haven't renewed my passport. Would I like the mental clarity to get it together? Yes! Of course!)
I know how this sounds. I ran it by my sister, who interrupted me to say yes, of course, this is a good idea.
Save this number: If you or someone you know is self-managing a miscarriage: 833-246-2632
(They're prosecuting miscarriages in states where abortion is legal.)
EGGS AND DAIRY
It's not coming home unless it's ultra-pasteurized! Eggs are expensive because of bird flu. The Biden administration allocated funds for bird flu (and that money was surely pocketed). The cats have it. The cows and dairy farmers have it. I miss jammy eggs, but the risk isn't worth it.
I hope this is obvious, but please don't touch dead birds or animals.
FIGHT NAZIS
- call it out when you see it (even if you look like an asshole)
- cut the nazis from your social circle (i'm not swimming with nazis)
- hit (not slap) with an open hand
- you can remove permanent ink from most surfaces with hand sanitizer
- you can cover up bad stickers with new ones, carry some!
-
report hate crimes:
- nyc: 877-no-hate-ny
- md: 866-481-8361
- ca: 877-529-3835
I think this is self-explanatory. I saw a tip online that I am merely repeating: fill water balloons with apple cider vinegar. It's not toxic, and it smells terrible. (Apple cider vinegar is very close to the top of my shit list.) Nazis are masked, but people will recognize the smell. That said! The cops are not on your side, and it's assault.
CALL YOUR REPS
Why are you not bullying your reps already? You have options. You have Five Calls, congress.gov/members/find-your-member, house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative, and New Yorkers have mygovnyc.org. I don't trust that Five Calls is totally on top of the dumpster fire we're dealing with, but here we are.
Making a call is fast. It takes 20 seconds, especially if you're leaving a voicemail.
You want to say, "Hi, my name is [YOUR NAME], and I live at [CITY] in zipcode [ZIPCODE], and I am calling to demand [YOUR DEMAND]." It helps to add a personal anecdote — your elected official can pass that on as an example in their arguments.
Writing is significantly less effective than calling, which is a HUGE bummer because I am so much better at it than calling. That said, I've dropped the script, and I'm letting Schumer, Fetterman, etc. know how I "really feel." Calling your specific officials is also more effective — Fetterman isn't one of mine! — but I'm at my wit's end with these chucklefucks, OK?
Finally, you can call to say thank you! Thank AOC and Jamie Raskin for being the only elected officials with any backbone. Thank Al Green for impeaching the President and standing up for Medicaid! Congratulate Cory Booker on his record!
PROTESTING
It's OK if you don't feel safe marching or physically can't. (I think my marching days are behind me.) If you're planning to join a march, keep these things in mind:
- you are protected by the First Amendment
- know your rights: aclu.org/know-your-rights/protesters-rights
- wear a face covering
- cover your tattoos
- bring water
- and snacks
- designate an emergency contact
- write the legal helpline on your forearm
- turn off face id (don't even bring your phone to a protest or organizing event)
- bail when it gets unsafe
- do not interact with cops
- IF YOU GET ARRESTED: SHUT THE FUCK UP
- have fun bestie
Most of these things are because we live in a surveillance state. (Why is Face ID even on your phone?) If you get gassed, try not to blink and flush your eyes with water.
Please be careful! Tesla protestors are being documented, and this administration was fine with January 6 but not fine with loitering around a car dealership. (Dressing like Pikachu is not a bad idea.)
SELF-CARE FOR THE COMMUNITY
You have so many options, big and small. You can say hello and introduce yourself. You could show up to community board meetings (in NYC, it's crucial to keep the apartments rent-stabilized). You should show up at school board meetings (because books are getting banned, and it's up to us to pass free school lunch and breakfast). You do not have to commit to a big gesture; you just have to be kind and be yourself. Admittedly, I still believe the hardest, most important thing you can do is be yourself, be kind, and be honest.
HOW TO TALK TO COPS
- don't
- you have a constitutional right to remain silent
- seriously, shut the fuck up
- ask, "am i being detained? am i free to leave?"
- ask, "are they being detained? are they free to leave?"
- then leave
- say no to search
In some states, you have to provide your name. When you're pulled over, you have to provide the information. Otherwise: shut the fuck up. If you have been corralled to the side — and if you see your neighbor held in public — ask, "Am I being detained? Am I free to leave?"
A tip I learned: if you are detained and you have provided ID, make the cops do the math. you're seated on the ground, and they ask, "katherine, how old are you?" well, buddy, you have my birthday in front of you. "You do the math." If he can't get the math right, it's going to get thrown out.
Don't let this stop you, but don't forget that the NYPD ceaselessly harassed and arrested Ramsey Orta and his mother. Orta is the man who filmed the murder of Eric Garner.
Finally, never let the cops enter without a warrant.
HOW TO TALK ICE
- create a safety plan
- do not lie
- hand over documentation
- if you're 18+ always carry your papers
- say nothing (if undocumented)
- make a scene (if u.s. citizen)
- do not open the door
- do not let them in your building
- if asked about neighbors, you know nothing (likely true)
- say no to a search
- get an NYC ID
The Department of Homeland Security was passed by the 2002 Department of Homeland Security Act. Don't forget to blame Bush for this mess; I haven't. It is the third-largest cabinet, following Defense and Veteran Affairs.
Identifying ICE and their friends: uniforms may say the following: POLICE ERO, Homeland Security Investigations, HSI, ICE, POLICE ICE, DEPARTMENT HOMELAND SECURITY, DHS, CBP FIELD OPERATIONS, U.S. BORDER PATROL, U.S. CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION. Regular Police, in spite of tactical gear, State Troopers, Joint Task Force Empire Shield, NYPD, BPD, LAPD, Shomrim, and the National Guard are not ICE.
In NYC, we also have the Department of Homeless Services, which is abbreviated as DHS, which is confusing!
Also confusing: Proud Boys, undercover cops, and undercover ICE are all dressed the same. And while the jurisdiction is 100 miles from a border, this seems to be unraveling as there are reports in states that aren't 100 miles from a border. Much in the way that "All individuals in the United States have rights, regardless of immigration status" but people are deported simply because the administration feels like it.
If you are not a U.S.-born white citizen, come up with a plan. Who will you call after you've been detained? Do you have a lawyer? Where will your kids go, and who will feet your tortoise?
When reporting any info, give as much detail as possible. How many people? How are they dressed? How are they acting? What was the time and date? Do they have equipment and weapons?
U.S. citizens do not have to answer questions about their status when approached by ICE. (This has not stopped ICE from detaining citizens.) People who are not U.S. citizens "should" answer questions and provide papers. Everyone recommends that every person over 18 have their papers at all times. You do not have to answer questions, though. And Border Patrol is limited by how long they can hold you.
If ICE is at your front door, do not let them in. Do not let them in your apartment if you are a citizen. Do not answer the door if you are not a citizen. Do not let them into your building. (And report their presence after they've left.)
Every New Yorker should have an NYC ID. You can use it as a primary ID in most situations (not getting your rent check unless you're at a local credit union) and ride the ferry to Governor's Island for free. Most importantly, it doesn't work as identification for immigrants unless everyone is using it.
ICE is counting on U.S. citizens to let them do their job.
Unfortunately, I am a menace, and I think you might be, too. Make their jobs difficult. If you see ICE in your neighborhood boarding your train (AMTRAK, MTA, SEPTA, etc.), make a scene. Shout, "ICE IS HERE. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT AND ANSWER QUESTIONS IN THE PRESENCE OF AN ATTORNEY REGARDLESS OF YOUR CITIZENSHIP OR IMMIGRATION STATUS." EMBARASS THEM.
If someone is held up by these bozos, loudly ask, "IS THIS PERSON DETAINED OR ARE THEY FREE TO LEAVE?"
Get out your camera! You need documentation. (Do not film at a port of entry or on government property.) Send it to the ACLU with as much detail as possible.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
- take inspiration from Garrett Bucks
- keep going
- find a task/habit that honors someone you loved
- drink water
Garrett Bucks is an organizer in the Midwest. (This is my favorite newsletter he's written.) You might find The White Pages helpful.
A lot of people I have loved in the course of my lifetime have died. That's a consequence of being friends with older generations. It's also the consequence of being a Millennial. I like taking on the habits of people I've loved. I like to eat ice cream on my grandparents' birthday. I would like to send the first birthday card to my friends and family (they've been late this year). I like Dobie sponges and the good dish soap; Miller Lite and soft serve at baseball games. You can tell people, but you don't have to, and it's a nice thing to do for yourself.
The second hardest thing you can do is keep going. You need to rest — but you also can't give up.
Stop saying that this isn't covered in the news! I read legitimate news sources and watch broadcast news! Protests, the bird flu, and the crumbling of our society are in fact, covered by the news. I used the news for this newsletter, so stop lying to me! There is so much news, and these naysayers are not watching or reading it.
A Substack: Good Queer News
Also, this post from Big Undies.
A website for making marginally more ethical purchases: Goods Unite Us
I started a fantasy baseball team at the end of March. I drafted on vibes and dopamine (did you impress me during the all-star game? did you pitch well the night I was in the worst headspace all year?), and I let ESPN draft for me automatically (until the end, when I didn't have a catcher because some other person had Adley Rutschman and I grabbed Gary Sanchez) while I made dinner. I'm ranked sixth, which amuses me to no end. I plan to set it and forget it. Someone immediately wanted to trade because "I sniped them," getting their favorite player from Pittsburgh. (Their first draft was Aaron Judge. It's not happening.) This feels a lot like selling collectibles on eBay. I'll let you know how the season ends! I'm sure to make a lot of enemies.
Nazis fuck off,
Katherine
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When they've disappeared me will you tell everyone how funny I was?