“I Reclaimed My Masculinity… with a Truck, a Beard, and No Skincare” Why moisturizer is a slippery slope.
For years, I lived in darkness. Not the cool, brooding kind — the glowing, poreless, glass-skin kind. I was exfoliating. I was using serums. At one point, I had a jade roller… and I liked it.
I didn’t know it at the time, but each night I massaged my face with hyaluronic acid, I was drifting further from God’s chosen dermal state: rough, leathery, and faintly sunburned.
It wasn’t until I looked in the mirror one morning and thought, “Why do I look so refreshed?” that I knew something was wrong.
That’s when I found From Flamboyant to Faithful.
Their 30-day Skin Neglect Challenge changed my life. No more moisturizers. No more eye cream. Just cold water, bar soap, and the occasional slap to the face to build character. Within a week, I was seeing real results:
My T-zone was producing oil at record-breaking rates.
My crow’s feet returned, and with them, dignity.
Women started crossing the street when I approached — not out of fear, but out of respect.
I sold my serums. I bought a Ford F-250. I replaced my jade roller with a socket wrench. I grew a beard — not a trendy one, but a patchy, uneven one that says “I do drywall.”
Now, every time I see a man using sunscreen, I shake my head and whisper a prayer. Because I’ve seen the truth:
Skin care isn’t self-care. It’s a slippery slope to scented candles and oat milk.
I don’t want to look younger. I want to look weathered. Hardened. Like I’ve been dragged behind a horse.
Are you ready to reclaim your face?
Throw away the toner. Burn the glycolic acid. And join me — scarred, proud, and slightly flaky — on the road to rugged redemption.