knocking around
The semester is over. I am officially unemployed until the end of January, when the spring classes start. Such is the life of an adjunct. I am still writing columns for the Dogwood, but took the last two weeks off for the holiday and finals week. We all just barely limped through.
Now, time stretches before me and I’m knocking around my drafty house with no real routine. The chickens started laying after the solstice, so that’s been pleasant. Blanche is very upset every time they sing their laying song—she thinks it sounds like raccoon-induced distress. We lay in bed until we hear the loud clucking and then she races out of the room to find the source.
I’ve turned to the manuscript again. People keep telling me that my narrator’s voice needs to be stronger, so I’m combing through the threads of the various storylines and making myself louder in them. I’m tightening the scope, too, and I think I’ve hit upon the structure that will make this work well (famous last words, I’m sure), and that feels nice. The narrative voice question is one that feels like a mobius strip: the old self had a voice that was parroting other voices and therefore their voice didn’t really exist; the current self has a very loud voice and sees the world differently. How do I balance their frequencies so you can hear them both at the same time?
As I sort this out, I’m trying to keep to a writing schedule, working on the book daily. The routine feels nice, but I miss feeling like I’m working with people on something. I guess I miss workshop and being in school. Self-directed learning is something I am presumably good at—and I am, when systems fail me—but when I have to establish the system myself I get distracted and wander far afield when I try to focus. There’s a writing group a friend introduced me to, that meets on Zoom every morning at 8am ET and 11am ET to write for an hour together in silence, and participating in that has been helpful. Not quite the same, though.
The full moon last night felt intense. I’m emotional and fatigued, but I know how to pace myself right now and that feels good. How are you?
I’m off Twitter until after New Year’s, but I wanted to offer here what I would usually say there: I’m available for tarot readings this week and next, if you want to set some intentions for 2021 and get clarity on how to focus them. Just email me here—I do sliding scale rates based on your ability and need, and I usually do them over the Marco Polo app so you can watch and rewatch on your own time and don’t have to take notes or be physically present with me when I read for you.
Drink lots of water. Love to you.
xo,
eve