trip
I forgot to write to say: the book came out. yes, YES, the book is out, etc. I did an event at the Rachel Comey store in Los Angeles; I did events at McNally Jackson Seaport and Casa Cipriani in New York. I also signed books while I was on the east coast, at The Strand and McNally Jackson Williamsburg and The Ripped Bodice. Hard to overstate the absurdity that part of my job is signing autographs. Hard to overstate the absurdity of discussing my work at an institution with a dress code when I make so much of it barefoot, hair unbrushed, in leggings, no bra.
Hard to overstate the absurdity of so much, lately, but we’re sticking to book launch and related topics today. When BIG FAN came out there were issues with the warehouse, so during release week, no one had it in stock. I kept poking my head into bookstores, hoping to find it on a shelf, but every time: nope. This trip, SQUARE WAVES was on the new release tables, front and center. Booksellers recognized my name.
I used to come to New York regularly in college and after. Inevitably, I would find myself at The Strand, and I would spend an hour walking its labyrinthine shelves, picking things up and putting them down. Imagining who I would be if I read these books. Barely capable of imagining what it would be like to write them. An hour or so lost in the rapture of desire, for objects and the abstraction of success— of making it— in equal measure.
What does making it feel like? It feels like nothing. It feels like the texture of being alive, like still being hungry every morning. Like air on my skin. I mean, there’s always more to make, for one thing. More work. More success. More money. But, and, also. Isn’t this exactly what I dreamed of? All those afternoons, walking circles, wanting, I was also propelling myself into a future. Into this one, somehow.
I have a few more events coming up. On Wednesday, July 16th, I’ll be at Skylight, talking to Traci Thomas from The Stacks. Here’s a link to the event info!
Then, on July 20th, I’ll be down in Long Beach, reading… something new, I think, for Solar: A Summer Literary Salon. Sliding scale ticket are available for purchase here.