telling
There is a viral tweet that goes "My take is: all 30 Under 30 lists should include a disclosure of parental assets." Not that I have ever been on such a list, or expect to be (also I'm about to turn 33), but I agree with this tweet, at least in theory. I think we should all be more transparent about the ways that our backgrounds have shaped what was and is possible for us. But also, every time I see it I feel some despair, because the actual doing of that disclosure is weird and difficult, and I never feel like I'm doing it right, or enough.
I think that I try to grapple with my privilege; I know I try to be honest about it as often as possible. I wrote my first book while unemployed and living rent-free in my parents' house, a house they own in part because being white meant their families had the money to support and educate them, and because my father's whiteness meant that his criminal record didn't keep him from eventually becoming a corporate executive.
And when I decided to go freelance, it was with the knowledge that a) they supported me spiritually and creatively but also b) they could support me financially if things really went pear-shaped. That the worst thing that would happen to me if I hit a fiscal rock bottom is that I'd have to move... fifteen minutes west of where I live now. I wouldn't even have to leave Los Angeles!!
I don't have any student loan debt; I also don't have any consumer debt in part because of their ongoing monetary support. For example, last year, when I had to have an unexpected surgery, I was left with $4000 in bills that I asked them to front for me. I still haven't paid them back. (I'm planning to do so next year, but I planned to do it this year, so, you know, we'll see.) I am mostly not in therapy right now, but when I am, they pay for that, too: $175 an hour so that when I was in acutely bad shape, I didn't have to wait months for Kaiser to suggest I go to group therapy (an experience a friend had with the network); I could just walk into someone's office and say, "I need help now."
That's the broad outline; but there are other things, smaller things, and also, not everyone who reads my work or stumbles on my books or my tweets or whatever will read this Tinyletter. Most of them won't, probably. Should some version of this information be in my Twitter bio? Should this be linked on my website somewhere?
I'm really asking these questions. I see all of these generalized calls for disclosure, but so much less conversation about what exactly it looks like, where and how often and how publicly it should be done. (Not to mention that it entails talking a lot about other people's money, which is a sensitive subject! I don't mind getting detailed about all of my financial particulars, but it's sort of another thing to start going into my parents' without their explicit permission.)
So anyway, this is my attempt to have something on the record. I'm gonna tweet about how much money I made this year from various ventures in a minute, and link this little explainer on my background and hope that, taken together, the two are helpful.
(Honestly, it is scary to do this. I worry that people will look at what I've been given and write me off wholesale: as someone who was born lucky and has been playing in the shallow end ever since. But also, I hate the idea of someone with fewer advantages blaming themselves for not having my life-- not being able to find the time to finish a novel, or the security to allow themselves to freelance. I write this Tinyletter all year and talk about the work I do to make my life and career possible; I thought I should take a minute here to acknowledge the role that luck plays a huge role in all of this, too.)
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I'm actually... done publishing freelance pieces for the year! Got some stuff scheduled for January that I'm still editing, and book 4 revisions to focus on, so I'm not done working (never done working), but there won't be anything new of mine to read until next year. So to tide you over, here are a selection of favs from 2019:
Leigh Bardugo Wants Ninth House 'To Fck You Up a Little," Bustle
Why I Can't Bring Myself to Do the "Ten Year Challenge," Buzzfeed
Why Fillers Are the Go-To Beauty Hack for Millennials, Buzzfeed
How the Kardashians Commodify Female Friendship, Buzzfeed
The "Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck" Author Actually Gives a Few, Buzzfeed
Inside the Mad Science World of a Professional Fermentation Chef, Healthyish
Two Writers on the Joys of Being Single, But Also Sometimes Dating, In Your 30's, Healthyish
The Ethics (& Economics) of Freebies, Pressland
On 'Heard it in a Past Life,' Maggie Rogers Spins Pop Songs Into Revelations, Uproxx
+ author interviews with Nina MacLaughlin, Mary HK Choi, Tom O'Neill, and Ann Leckie over at Longreads, and my Tournament of Books Zombie judgement. And, of course, 20 Tinyletters! Thank you so much for reading them, everyone.