sick, brah
So it finally happened: I got it, or it got me. A few weeks ago I had what I thought was a sinus headache, and then what I thought was a sore throat from post-nasal sinus drip. I was in the desert, where I regularly get sinus infections, especially in the winter, so this wasn't just a random guess, and I didn't feel particularly sick otherwise. I tested negative on a rapid. I went for a couple of hikes, and I was like, could a person with the novel coronvirus do this? But then another rapid test turned up positive (if your throat hurts... swab your mouth!), and I found out that what I actually had was something I've taken to calling My World Historical Cold.
It was a very strange experience. Physically, it felt like the kind of cruddy long-tail thing I always get early in the new year, when my body runs out of adrenaline and the ability to compensate for my holiday diet of pure sugar, salt, fat and booze. I didn't lose lung capacity or my sense of smell; I never ran a fever or even managed to take a nap while I was sick. Instead I just used up a lot of tissues. I sounded so much grosser than I felt.
Mentally, though, it was something else entirely. Almost all of it has been written about elsewhere, one way or another. Is there any experience less unique, in 2022, than having been taken out by this particular virus? And yet nothing I'd read conveyed what it felt like. The intense, isolating, bone-deep loneliness of having to remember that I was a vector, a danger before I was anything else. To have spent two years cultivating fear of a thing only to find it already inside of my body, replicating. I have never felt as alien, as lonely, as dissociated from myself as I did that week.
It took me longer than I expected to pull out of it, both physical and mentally. Some days I feel like I'm still pulling out of it. It helps that this week it's hot in Los Angeles, and yesterday I wore shorts for the first time in months, remembered the color of my skin, the shape of my thigh muscles, my calves. Today I did yoga in a sports bra and I was startled by the sight of my own tattoos in my square on the screen. Like, oh, THAT's what my body looks like? Huh. There I am. I didn't notice, but what with one thing and another, I guess I had kind of forgotten.
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Before I got sick, I wrote a book review for The LA Times about a novel and a memoir that look at what it's like for Black girls to grow up in elite, predominantly white spaces.
You can still sign up for HEA WTF, a virtual romcom workshop, which I'm teaching along with two of my favs this Saturday.
I'm also going to teach a virtual beginning fiction class this spring! Whether you've got a novel idea you want to get going or just want to write some stories and talk about narrative, I'd love to have you. Details below, and of course, you can always reply to this email with questions.
Beginning Fiction
Mondays, 6:30-8:30 pm PST
It was a very strange experience. Physically, it felt like the kind of cruddy long-tail thing I always get early in the new year, when my body runs out of adrenaline and the ability to compensate for my holiday diet of pure sugar, salt, fat and booze. I didn't lose lung capacity or my sense of smell; I never ran a fever or even managed to take a nap while I was sick. Instead I just used up a lot of tissues. I sounded so much grosser than I felt.
Mentally, though, it was something else entirely. Almost all of it has been written about elsewhere, one way or another. Is there any experience less unique, in 2022, than having been taken out by this particular virus? And yet nothing I'd read conveyed what it felt like. The intense, isolating, bone-deep loneliness of having to remember that I was a vector, a danger before I was anything else. To have spent two years cultivating fear of a thing only to find it already inside of my body, replicating. I have never felt as alien, as lonely, as dissociated from myself as I did that week.
It took me longer than I expected to pull out of it, both physical and mentally. Some days I feel like I'm still pulling out of it. It helps that this week it's hot in Los Angeles, and yesterday I wore shorts for the first time in months, remembered the color of my skin, the shape of my thigh muscles, my calves. Today I did yoga in a sports bra and I was startled by the sight of my own tattoos in my square on the screen. Like, oh, THAT's what my body looks like? Huh. There I am. I didn't notice, but what with one thing and another, I guess I had kind of forgotten.
-
Before I got sick, I wrote a book review for The LA Times about a novel and a memoir that look at what it's like for Black girls to grow up in elite, predominantly white spaces.
You can still sign up for HEA WTF, a virtual romcom workshop, which I'm teaching along with two of my favs this Saturday.
I'm also going to teach a virtual beginning fiction class this spring! Whether you've got a novel idea you want to get going or just want to write some stories and talk about narrative, I'd love to have you. Details below, and of course, you can always reply to this email with questions.
Beginning Fiction
Mondays, 6:30-8:30 pm PST
April 4-May 23
on Zoom :)
In the course of this eight-week fiction workshop, we’ll explore the building blocks of writing stories by discussing craft topics like scene, character, plot and prose. Every week, students will be assigned to write a 500-word response to a prompt; then, in class, we will discuss the week's craft topic as well as each student's work. Students will also be asked to write a longer piece to be workshopped in the final weeks of class. This class is intended to introduce students to some of the vocabulary and technique of fiction writing, and to encourage them to explore what works for them as they establish a fiction writing practice. You don't need to have any experience or even an idea of what you want to write yet—though students with both are also welcome.
Enrollment limit: 6 students
Cost: $400, including a $100 non-refundable enrollment fee. Payment plans available— I want to make this work for you! To enroll, email me at zanopticon@gmail.com.
on Zoom :)
In the course of this eight-week fiction workshop, we’ll explore the building blocks of writing stories by discussing craft topics like scene, character, plot and prose. Every week, students will be assigned to write a 500-word response to a prompt; then, in class, we will discuss the week's craft topic as well as each student's work. Students will also be asked to write a longer piece to be workshopped in the final weeks of class. This class is intended to introduce students to some of the vocabulary and technique of fiction writing, and to encourage them to explore what works for them as they establish a fiction writing practice. You don't need to have any experience or even an idea of what you want to write yet—though students with both are also welcome.
Enrollment limit: 6 students
Cost: $400, including a $100 non-refundable enrollment fee. Payment plans available— I want to make this work for you! To enroll, email me at zanopticon@gmail.com.
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