evolution
I can't tell you how many versions of this Tinyletter I've written. I keep trying to tell a story about this year and how it was, but it never quite comes out right. In some ways, it was very bad. In some ways, it was pretty good. I made a lot of money-- more on that below-- and got to do some cool, interesting things, both personally and professionally. And also, I went through-- am still going through-- a sort of terrorizing period in my creative life. I lost a couple of people and animals who I loved very much. Some of them went suddenly. Disorienting, maybe, was the word of the year.
A few days ago I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a decade. We used to be very close, at the end of high school and just after; I think I've slept in every room of his parents' house at some point, stoned or just exhausted, nodding off in front of the art films we used to watch together. (Yes, yes, very pretentious.) We drifted apart after college; he got married, had kids, stayed east. You know what I've been up to.
He and his wife separated last summer, which is why he's reappeared in my life again. Not like that-- just like, before, he was ensconced in this other world, and now he's not anymore. Anyway, we were talking about what we were up to. I explained what I've been explaining to everyone recently, which is that increasingly I see a choice for myself, between freedom and stability. And I keep thinking, choose stability, and I keep choosing freedom instead.
"What do you event want freedom for?" he asked. "I would have no idea what to do with that."
His kids are in school; he has child support to pay, a good job at a major tech company. We looked at each other from opposite ends of something very large.
But and also, he still jokes about money the same way he did when he was applying to summer jobs twenty years ago. I kept expecting him to have forgotten things, like the night we got lost in Silver Lake trying to drive to this place called The Smell in his parents' minivan. Like he could have somehow become so different that all of that would have washed away from him. Of course it hadn't. All of that shaped him, the same way it shaped me. We've done different things with it, but that past is still our past, shared. And it was so nice to see someone and know them. To think that all of that feeling wasn't wasted, or lost.
I've been very lucky this year, and also, there has been so much fucking loss. Maybe that's all I mean to say, is that just at the end here, something I had counted out a long time ago washed up on shore again. I keep framing my choices in binary, and in some ways they are. You can't have everything. You just can't. Choose one thing and another falls away. But and also, time is funny; so is memory, and so, I guess, are people.
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Surprise! I'm going to teach an eight-week Beginning Fiction workshop starting in the new year. After that I'm going to offer an ongoing Novel Workshop for folks who want support, accountability and feedback for novels in progress, so stay tuned. In the meantime, info about the first class is below:
Beginning Fiction
Mondays, 6:30-8:30 pm PST
Enrollment limit: 6 students
Cost: $495, including a $100 non-refundable enrollment fee. Payment plans available— I want to make this work for you! To enroll, email me at zanopticon@gmail.com.
--
And finally, as is tradition, here is a quick and dirty 2022 income breakdown for you, now with bonus rate information where I thought it might be useful.
$9,000 freelance journalism; I try to keep my rate at or above $.30/word, which is still shamefully low
$6,000 assorted hourly work, mostly editing and consulting; rates go up to $200/hr for a wide variety of clients
$7,000 teaching writing classes and workshops
$17,000 ghostwriting romance novels; $.13/word or thereabouts
$26,000 branded content writing; $1000/piece
$10,000 associate producer on a documentary which was cancelled after a few months because of a media merger :)
$8,000 writing for a podcast (more on that next year!)
That's like $80,000 total, which is... so much more money than I've ever made in a single year before. Previous years in finances are: 2021, 2020, 2018, and a general report on my financial situation and background are here.
A few days ago I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a decade. We used to be very close, at the end of high school and just after; I think I've slept in every room of his parents' house at some point, stoned or just exhausted, nodding off in front of the art films we used to watch together. (Yes, yes, very pretentious.) We drifted apart after college; he got married, had kids, stayed east. You know what I've been up to.
He and his wife separated last summer, which is why he's reappeared in my life again. Not like that-- just like, before, he was ensconced in this other world, and now he's not anymore. Anyway, we were talking about what we were up to. I explained what I've been explaining to everyone recently, which is that increasingly I see a choice for myself, between freedom and stability. And I keep thinking, choose stability, and I keep choosing freedom instead.
"What do you event want freedom for?" he asked. "I would have no idea what to do with that."
His kids are in school; he has child support to pay, a good job at a major tech company. We looked at each other from opposite ends of something very large.
But and also, he still jokes about money the same way he did when he was applying to summer jobs twenty years ago. I kept expecting him to have forgotten things, like the night we got lost in Silver Lake trying to drive to this place called The Smell in his parents' minivan. Like he could have somehow become so different that all of that would have washed away from him. Of course it hadn't. All of that shaped him, the same way it shaped me. We've done different things with it, but that past is still our past, shared. And it was so nice to see someone and know them. To think that all of that feeling wasn't wasted, or lost.
I've been very lucky this year, and also, there has been so much fucking loss. Maybe that's all I mean to say, is that just at the end here, something I had counted out a long time ago washed up on shore again. I keep framing my choices in binary, and in some ways they are. You can't have everything. You just can't. Choose one thing and another falls away. But and also, time is funny; so is memory, and so, I guess, are people.
-
Surprise! I'm going to teach an eight-week Beginning Fiction workshop starting in the new year. After that I'm going to offer an ongoing Novel Workshop for folks who want support, accountability and feedback for novels in progress, so stay tuned. In the meantime, info about the first class is below:
Beginning Fiction
Mondays, 6:30-8:30 pm PST
January 30-March 8
on Zoom :)
In the course of this eight-week fiction workshop, we’ll explore the building blocks of writing stories by discussing craft topics like scene, character, plot and prose. Every week, students will be assigned to write a 500-word response to a prompt; then, in class, we will discuss the week's craft topic as well as each student's work. Students will also be asked to write a longer piece to be workshopped in the final weeks of class. This class is intended to introduce students to some of the vocabulary and technique of fiction writing, and to encourage them to explore what works for them as they establish a fiction writing practice. You don't need to have any experience or even an idea of what you want to write yet—though students with both are also welcome.
on Zoom :)
In the course of this eight-week fiction workshop, we’ll explore the building blocks of writing stories by discussing craft topics like scene, character, plot and prose. Every week, students will be assigned to write a 500-word response to a prompt; then, in class, we will discuss the week's craft topic as well as each student's work. Students will also be asked to write a longer piece to be workshopped in the final weeks of class. This class is intended to introduce students to some of the vocabulary and technique of fiction writing, and to encourage them to explore what works for them as they establish a fiction writing practice. You don't need to have any experience or even an idea of what you want to write yet—though students with both are also welcome.
Enrollment limit: 6 students
Cost: $495, including a $100 non-refundable enrollment fee. Payment plans available— I want to make this work for you! To enroll, email me at zanopticon@gmail.com.
--
And finally, as is tradition, here is a quick and dirty 2022 income breakdown for you, now with bonus rate information where I thought it might be useful.
$6,000 assorted hourly work, mostly editing and consulting; rates go up to $200/hr for a wide variety of clients
$7,000 teaching writing classes and workshops
$17,000 ghostwriting romance novels; $.13/word or thereabouts
$26,000 branded content writing; $1000/piece
$10,000 associate producer on a documentary which was cancelled after a few months because of a media merger :)
$8,000 writing for a podcast (more on that next year!)
That's like $80,000 total, which is... so much more money than I've ever made in a single year before. Previous years in finances are: 2021, 2020, 2018, and a general report on my financial situation and background are here.
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