October 16, 2022

Branching Point

Today, I finished up cleaning up my desk in the lab. All I had to take home was my coffee equipment, my lava lamp¹, and some papers and files that I needed to take home. I also took the time to update the photo wall one last time with some new photos of the lab that I'd taken a while back but only got around to printing just now.

Tomorrow, I'll be presenting my Master's thesis and effectively closing out my time as a grad student in the Software Practices Lab, a place that I've called home for the better part of the past 5 years; three as an undergrad, and two as a grad student. The first time I was in the SPL was the summer of 2017, when I was working for Gregor and Elisa to help build up the online version of CPSC 210. The lab then didn't even have windows to the hallway, and I didn't even have a desk to call my own. I eventually got a desk in the lab as other grad students moved out. I sound pretty melodramatic since I'll still be in Vancouver, but it's going to take a while to shake off a 5 year old habit of coming to the lab every morning, putting the water on, making coffee, and getting to work.

I guess I could have left earlier if I selected another path in a branching point I had in early 2020. In March 2020, the pandemic was just underway and I was faced with the choice of picking up my things and moving to Waterloo to go to grad school, or staying in Vancouver and starting grad school in the SPL. I'm not going to lie and say the pandemic didn't have an effect on my decision; I maintain that I chose the SPL largely because of the people, but the uncertainty brought upon by the pandemic certainly pointed me in the decision of staying with the lab. People say excessive navel-gazing is terrible, but I do wonder what would have happened had I gone to Waterloo for grad school. Would I have made the same friends over there that I have now in the lab? Would I have the same rosy impression of grad school as I do now? These are things I'll never know the answer to, barring the invention of a device that lets you look into alternate paths. That said, I'm comfortable with not knowing, since I know that I made the right choice two years ago to stay.

Tomorrow will represent another branching point. This time, I chose between continuing onto a PhD, or going out to work in the industry as a developer. On Tuesday, I'll be starting my first permanent job as a developer, returning to the same company that I worked for in the summer of 2021. I don't know how long I'll be there for, but I know it'll be a pretty drastic change. Working from home will require a big adjustment, and I'm hoping to maximize my time outside not working as much as possible. More on this if/when I actually start and keep my job.

Finally, I want to repeat some of the stuff I wrote in the acknowledgements in my thesis. When I say I honestly couldn't imagine myself getting to this point in life, I'm not exaggerating at all. I was never a bright child; I still remember the day when my elementary school teacher called in my parents because they were concerned about my progress in basically every subject and my lack of interaction with other students. This concern was basically echoed by all the teachers I had until late middle school, when something must've clicked. This also coincided with me meeting teachers who didn't outright dismiss me, but instead encouraged me. I am the person I am today because of the teachers, mentors, and educators I was lucky enough to meet along the way. I thank them, knowing I can't be thankful enough.

I hope I can revisit this branching point later and make sense of it all.