You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Lindsey Stirling feat. Sabrina Carpenter
From a long list of excellent lyrics—you've got garlic in your soul and you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, among others— the one that springs unbidden into my mind in midsummer, when I’m embarrassed to find myself humming a Christmas tune, is:
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
It reminds me of a game of Apples to Apples I played with my family. For those not in the know: in each round of Apples to Apples, someone in the circle flips over a green card bearing an adjective- Dangerous, Cute, Ridiculous, et cetera. That person is the judge. Every other player selects a red card from their hand bearing a noun that matches the adjective (we always agreed that Cher was a trump card). The judge shuffles around the submissions and picks the one they like the best.
It’s a psychological game. Shy first-time players will ask how they’re meant to choose, but it’s entirely up to them. The judge picks the one they like the best, whether that’s the noun that’s most fitting, or most funny, or most unexpected.
In the game I’m thinking of, I was judging the adjective Touchy-feely.
The cards in play went something like: My bed, Fuzz, Cactus, Remote controls, Shania Twain.
Obviously, I picked Cactus, given its vivid mental image of someone trying valiantly to pet a spiked saguaro. My dad looked looked triumphant as he plucked the green card from the middle of the table. “I knew you’d like that one.”
I beamed, delighted that he’d known me so well.
When I agonize over presents for people (which is something I end up doing a fair bit this time of year) it’s because I’m chasing that kind of delight. Gift-giving is fraught because there’s always a risk it will reveal how little I know and am known by the people I care about.
Anyway, among the many reasons I like Christmas songs: most of them are replete with this kind of childhood significance, and goodness knows I enjoy the navel-gazing that prompts. Also, let’s be real, the instrumentation on this song is rad as heck.
- Tessa