All I Want for Christmas Is You - Kishi Bashi (feat. Finom)
There are a lot of Christmas love songs that emphasize how much they don’t care about the presents… which is very far off from my experience of Christmas as a child. Santa Claus won’t make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day? Absolutely not true when I was five. I would lie in bed at my grandparents’ house, clenched with excitement, hoping I’d hear Santa arriving with my presents.
Why was this? I reflected a bit on childish impatience and acquisitiveness, but spent more time thinking about how children have so little control over whether they get the things they want. My parents were very interested in giving their children autonomy, and I think I had a relatively generous amount of it, but I still mostly didn’t decide what I ate, or where I went, or what stuff I owned.
I don’t have enough money to buy myself literally all the toys I want, but did buy myself toys (well, okay, one Spider-Punk action figure) and art supplies and books and new clothes this year, in greater quantities than I ever acquired new things as a child (except! at Christmas).This morning I ate some chocolate and nobody even noticed how much. I could order myself a Scott Pilgrim action figure today and no one else would need to know. For the most part, kids only get new things when an adult buys them a gift.
A part of me wants to say “well, I’ll just get my kids lots of the things they ask for” but then I read about even fairly frugal parents feeling overwhelmed by the piles of children’s things: “They do love getting new things, but the house is full of toys. There are boxes of toys that I’ve rotated out of circulation and we have all forgotten what’s inside.” I think it’s important that shared environments work for both parents and children; maybe I could give a kid full decorative control over a section of the house? (... but it would still be my responsibility to keep it clean)
I don’t have an answer to any of this, and have the luxury of speculating without actually being the caregiver for any children, but I have enjoyed the reminder to be grateful both for my autonomy and my possessions. Are there any presents you’ve thought of buying yourself, lately? The horrors persist, but so do the little treats.
Hoping to help the sound of children’s laughter fill the air,
- Tessa