Dec. 22, 2021, 8:45 p.m.

xmas-3: thank you mariah

xmas countdown

THANK YOU MARIAH - Kaleena Zanders

You might expect me to get excited when grocery stores start playing Christmas music over their tinny speakers, but though I am, obviously, something of a Christmas music enthusiast, I find a lot of Christmas music to be cloying and annoying. Many seasonal songs are best avoided if possible.

This absolute bop of a Christmas track is a comedic celebration of being annoyed at inescapable Christmas songs:

All I want for Christmas is another jingle,
What am I supposed to sing if I’m trying to be single?
Who am I kidding, I care about presents―
Fill up my stocking with cash and extensions!

I absolutely recommend the video, which features Kaleena Zanders in like a dozen different costumes to cover all the song’s different characters:

Kaleena: No! Not in my house! Do you know anything else?
Carolling Children (harmonizing): No! We only know Mariah!

I don’t have anything particularly profound to say about this song. I just think it’s funny!

Every day, every year, everywhere, in my ear,
- Tessa

You just read issue #88 of xmas countdown. You can also browse the full archives of this newsletter.

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