WWC: A soccer/football glossary
Okay, so I know not all of my readers are soccer/football fans, so I thought I’d put together a lil' glossary to help both with my future dispatches, as well as with following along with all the matches and drama. Enjoy.
Advantage: Player committed a foul, but in doing so, gave the fouled team an advantageous opportunity, so the official lets play continue instead of stopping for a free kick
Bicycle kick: Wildly impressive acrobatic move. If the announcer says this term and you saw someone flying upside down, it was that.
Chip: A short, lofted pass or shot.
Chippy: Heads are hot, tackles are flying, fouls are everywhere, pay attention – drama is coming or already here.
Clearing/cleared: A collective sigh of relief when the defending team manages to get the ball out of the danger zone.
Corner/Corner kick: Awarded to the attacking team if the defense knocks the ball out of bounds over their own end line. The kick is taken from the corner arc nearest where the ball went out of bounds. If the ball goes into the goal directly from the corner, without a second player touching it, it’s called an “Olympico.” Depending on the team, this can be a very dangerous moment. If Rapinoe is taking a corner kick, pay attention. You might here it called a "set piece" which means any sort of pre-planned play from a dead ball.
Cross: A pass in which the ball is kicked from one side of the field to the other side.
Dangerous play: Normally a red card offense. Play that is likely to cause injury. If it is a player you love, all fouls against her feel like dangerous play, and all fouls committed by her were “soft at best.”
Dead ball: any time the ball is not actively in play.
Free kick: Awarded by the referee due to an infraction of the rules. The kick is taken by the nonoffending team, generally, from the spot in which the infraction took place. The defending team must be a minimum of 10 yards away from the ball. There are two kinds of free kicks: direct and indirect. I learned that last bit today, so I’m not going to be going any further on this subject.
Goal: The goal of soccer/football is to get goals. They’ll talk about a lot of other stats, like possession, or passing accuracy, but in the end, the goals are what decide the game. Only counts if the entire ball crosses the goal line, between the goal posts and under the crossbar. The worst stat is “xG” or expected goals. This stat was created by statisticians who were trying to make an argument for getting hired by their favorite soccer/football team and is completely fake and meaningless, and even soccer/football insiders will admit this, but only after they quote the stat. Normally something like “well the xG is [number], even though that stat is fake.” Goal can also refer to the actual space between the goal posts, net, and crossbar.
Goal kick: Not actually the kick that scores a goal. Instead, it’s a kick by the goalkeeper (normally) awarded to the defensive team when the attacking team knocks the ball out of bounds over the end line. Basically, if it isn’t a corner, it’s a goal kick, depending on who’s responsible. The kick may be taken from any point within the half of the goal area nearest where the ball went out, and must clear the penalty area before being touched by another defensive player. Extremely rare and unlikely, but a goal can be scored directly from a goal kick while a player cannot be offside from her own team’s goal kick.
Goalkeeper: The best position in soccer/football because you get to use your hands, you don’t have to run nearly as much, and if your team is really dominant, you basically get to be the on-pitch cheerleader. On the other hand, the worst position in soccer/football because you rarely get to score goals and if you let a goal in, the internet will probably be very mean to you about it.
Half volley: Kicking the ball just as it is rebounding off the ground.
Hand ball: A foul where a player touches the ball with his hand or arm. The opposing team is awarded a direct free kick or, if in the penalty area, a penalty kick. This rule is long standing, but its interpretation changes every few years. If you witness a handball call during this World Cup, it WILL go to VAR and the commentators will invariably mention the rule change and, unless it’s super obvious, talk about how hard it is to tell these days. I’m not even going to try to dig into explaining the newest interaction of the rule, but I will say that doing so would involve the phrase “chicken winging.”
Hat trick: Three goals scored in a game by a single player. If they only get to goals, its called a brace. If they get one goal, it's called the first five games of this World Cup.
Header: A player hitting the ball with their forehead in an attempt to make a pass, block a shot, or put a shot on goal, with the hopes of not further exacerbating any previous concussion injuries.
Kick off: Officially begins the game at each half and restarts the game after a goal has been scored.
Kickoff time: the time the game begins, outside of the US. In the US, a vague suggestion for when fans should consider arriving or tuning in, normally anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes before the match actually begins.
Marking: Not what my dog does, that would probably get you a red card. Instead it’s closely defending a player. Zonal marking involves marking any player in your “zone” while person to person marking is sticking with one opposing player regardless of where they are on the pitch. Not to be confused with dating, when a player sticks with one opposing player regardless of which team she plays for.
Nutmeg: also called Megs, occurs when a player dribbles or passes the ball through the legs of an opponent. Always embarrassing.
Officials: aka Referees. They are the cops of soccer/football. Ostensibly, their job is to protect the players and enforce the rules. All World Cup officiating teams involve 5 members (minimum)
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One referee officiates the games and is on the field with the players. The referee keeps the official time.
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Two assistant referees each patrol one half of the field, from the opposing sidelines. Their job is to provide assistance to the referee only. They use a flag to signal to the referee and to the players when the ball is out of bounds, when a player is potentially offside, or they have seen a foul committed. The referee makes the final determination whether or not to blow the whistle.
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One fourth official whose job is to be yelled at by the coaches and players on the bench, as well as manage substitutions and probably some other things. Mainly they get yelled at though.
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One video assistant referee (VAR) who gets to exist in relative anonymity, away from anyone who might yell at them. They sit in a room with like, 12 different screens showing different angles and review certain calls. All goals are reviewed,as well as some other contentious calls. They’re job is, essentially, “If you see something, say something” so I guess if I had really filled out the earlier law enforcement analogy, they would be homeland security. Weirdly, if there’s only one man on the officiating team, he always seems to be the VAR. I assume this is because they are less accustomed to verbal harassment, so they like hiding where no one can yell at them.
Offside: Look. I’m not really going to try here. I spent literally a good decade following this sport before I understood “offsides” and the moment it clicked, it seemed so obvious to me, but I cannot, for the life, explain it to others. Before it clicked, offsides was like some supernatural force by which my teams lived or died. Offside calls felt like the closest thing today to Greek gods, this thing outside of everyone’s control that could either bless you, save you from a brutal loss, or just as easily crush your hopes and dreams. If you want to try to understand, here’s someone on the internet trying to pretend like it’s easy to explain.
Penalty area: Okay. So if we look at just one half of the field, there are basically three nested rectangles, right? Imagine you’re the goalie, standing in the goal. The smallest rectangle you are at the base of is called the “goal area” or 6 Yard Box. If you are the goalie, this is your home. You live here now. The next biggest rectangle is the Penalty area or the 18 Yard Box. This is the danger zone. Any fouls in this area will be a penalty kick, which would be bad, if you were the goalie and someone like Marta was taking the penalty. On the flipside, you are allowed to hold the ball as long at you are in this area. There is a 6 second limit though. You can’t just grab the ball and play keepaway for the full 90 minute game, that would be bad as well.
Penalty kick: if your team is awarded one, this is amazing, a gift from the gods. Your best penalty kicker is going to take the ball, put it on the little painted dot in the middle of the penalty area, 12 yards away from the keeper, and try to put it in the net. Penalty kicks, or PKs, are really hard to save, so you’ve got a good chance of getting a goal. If the other team is awarded one, then despair. And send all of your “Giant Brick Wall” energy to your team’s keeper.
Red card: heartbreak, salvation, horror or hope. The head official may show a player a red card when they do something really really bad or get a second yellow card. The player who receives the red card must immediately leave the pitch entirely and the team has to play a player down for the rest of the match. If the keeper gets the red card, a keeper can be subbed on in their place, but someone else must come off. In the World Cup, a red card also disqualifies the player from playing in the team’s next match.
Slide tackle: An attempt by a defender to take the ball away from a dribbler by sliding on the ground feet first into the ball. The sliding player must first touch the ball before making contact with the other player - otherwise it is a foul.
Substitutes or subs: Not Ms. Moss, the single best sub at my high school and, fun fact, the inspiration for Mrs. Wormwood in Calvin and Hobbes. Instead, it is a player who did not start the game. A benchwarmer in some places, but at the World Cup, that’s not really an accurate description of any of the players. In the World Cup, each team can make 5 player changes in 3 windows. This is to avoid having up to 10 changes and stoppages during the 90 minutes. If the game goes to extra time (this only happens in the knockout rounds), the teams get another sub and substitution window. Unlike other sports, once a player comes off, they cannot come back on, so there is sometimes drama when a player is subbed off but doesn’t want to leave. You may also hear the term “super sub.” This often describes someone like Megan Rapinoe who, at 38, has cut down on her minutes in recent years. She can still make a huge difference in a game, especially if there’s a need to change the pace or energy, even if she can’t currently play a full 90 minutes.
Throw-in: The only time a field player may use their hands. Used to bring the ball back in play after it has crossed out of bounds on the sidelines/touchline. Some players have this really fancy flip-and-flick thing they can do to really give the ball extra momentum.
Touch: Something that the internet keeps saying humans today are starved of OR a player’s contact with the ball. A “one touch” is to receive and pass the ball in one kicking motion.
Volley: A kick made while the ball is in the air, before it touches the ground.
Wall: On a direct or indirect free kick, defensive players may line up side-by-side ten yards away from the ball. This is done in an effort to block a direct line to the goal.
Yellow card: Also called a caution or booking. Shown to a player by the referee for dangerous or unsportsmanlike behavior.
There, you are all experts now. Congratulations.