what does it take to make changes
Dealing with Difficult People
two. How to make changes
One of the big challenges presented by studying later in life is the increasing challenge of making changes in the way you live. Back in 2006 (two degrees ago) I read an article that has stayed with me. People would rather die than change: a study of people who had survived heart attacks, but needed to make lifestyle changes to avoid another - this time fatal - attack, only one in nine people would make the changes. It was just too hard to change.
In middle-age now, it's easy to see how much of my time is already spoken for in time commitments I've made to various projects, people, and organisations, and so it's harder to carve out blocks of time to embark on new projects. Often, I find myself making tweaks like thinking about how to read faster rather than wondering what I'm going to do with all the extra input, and how it will make a difference to the way I move around and interact in the world.
Change.
Being a manager or a leader is about changing yourself, and also about helping others to change. One of the more valuable lessons I learned about helping people make changes (and helping yourself change) was in the first subject we did, and it was called Coaching. Years before Ted Lasso brought this concept to popularity, we were learning techniques to help us listen to the other person, and help them reflect on a problem they were facing, and how they could resolve it.
This was a return for me to the concept of the Johari window - one of the first of many 2x2 grids that comes up in the MBA.
The Johari window is a tool for self-awareness; it divides into those things that are known or unknown by yourself, and known or unknown by others. These form the two axes of the box, and leave you with those things that are open to you, the things you're blind to, the things that are hidden, and those things that are unknown - to both yourself and others. Broadly, the path to personal growth is to minimise this "unknown" set.
The coaching concept we looked at helped build on the Johari window, and walks someone through a challenging situation they're facing. In this situation, you're not trying to prescribe change for people, but walk them through the situation by asking questions that help them examine the change and come to their own conclusion.
The process we looked at was (the INFORMM model):
start with your INsight - what is it you need to change.
consider a possible Future position
identify your Options, and look at them in the light of Reality
set goals that you are Motivated to act on
use this Motivation to take action on these goals to implement the change
look for new insights and start the process again, in a future coaching session
A friend and I would regularly sit down and work through this process to address different work challenges, which was helpful in learning a new skill (coaching), and in what was learned through the process.
What's something that works for you to make changes to your life? What have you learned from it?
Hit reply and let me know!
Dave.
Work. Study. Dad.