[difficult people] - 6. Emotional Wellbeing at Work: Managing Draining Interactions
Dealing with Difficult People
##Dealing with Emotionally Draining People
One term for referring to someone who is emotionally draining is energy vampire - someone who leaves you feeling both emotionally and mentally drained after your interaction with them.
In dealing with someone who has that impact on you, it's a balancing act between maintaining the professional relationship and keeping your own well-being.
Here are some ideas for how to deal with people who have that effect.
1) Boundaries: decide in advance a time limit for your meeting, and what topics you are willing to engage on. By explaining these boundaries firmly, with respect, you will be able to preserve your energy.
2) Limit exposure: you might be able to restructure your day to minimise unnecessary interactions, and even choosing how much optional communication you have with them.
3) Self-care: the best way to improve your resilience against emotional drain is to look after your mental health; the usual suspects of exercise, meditation, enjoyable activities or hobbies, and spending time in nature will help.
4) Remain neutral: emotionally draining people tend to look for a strong emotional response from the people they interact with. If you keep your reactions calm and measured, it can stop the situation from escalating.
5) Remain solution focused: if you're mid-conversation and the tone becomes negative or unproductive, it's time to steer towards solutions. Ask "How can we solve this problem?" - this can move towards real-world steps, hopefully a less draining topic.
6) Be cautious around your use of empathy: when you over-identify with the problems that are raised, you can end up feeling depleted. It's worth practicing ways to listen and show understanding while avoiding the emotional burdens they could place on you.
7) Seek support: discuss the experiences you've had with trusted colleagues, with friends, or an HR professional to help have perspective and alternative sources of strategies to cope.
8) Know when to walk away: sometimes it will be best to leave the situation (temporarily or permanently). If interactions with the person leave you drained, and your coping strategies aren't working, it may be necessary to distance yourself.
9) Create a network around you: having a network of supportive colleagues can help you balance out the draining interactions.
10) Reflect on you role in the relationship: reflect back on a previous interaction and note down the steps you have taken that may have encouraged or enabled the draining behaviour. Perhaps there are ways you can reduce the instances of your accommodating behaviour, or increase your way of asserting your needs.
Working through these steps can help you manage your interactions more effectively.