[difficult people] - 18. The Agile Professional - being flexible and adaptable at work
Dealing with Difficult People
Bend, Don't Break: A Story of Workplace Adaptability
When Maria joined the product development team, she thought her biggest challenge would be learning the new technology stack. She was wrong. Her real challenge turned out to be working with Steve, a brilliant but notoriously rigid senior developer who had "always done things this way."
Every suggestion for process improvement was met with resistance. Every new idea was countered with "that's not how we do it here." Maria found herself at a crossroads: push back and create more tension, or find a way to work within – and gradually expand – the constraints.
That's when she remembered something her first mentor had told her: "In tech, like martial arts, sometimes you have to be like water – flowing around obstacles rather than trying to break through them."
So Maria changed her approach. Instead of presenting complete alternatives to Steve's established processes, she started asking questions about why certain methods were in place. She listened – really listened – to his concerns about quality control and system stability. When she suggested improvements, she connected them to the principles Steve valued most.
The turning point came during a critical project update. When their client suddenly requested major changes to the architecture, Steve's usual approach wouldn't work within the new timeline. Instead of pushing her own solution, Maria asked Steve to help her think through the problem. "With your experience, what risks should we watch out for if we need to modify the standard process?"
That simple question transformed their dynamic. Steve shifted from defender of the status quo to problem-solving partner. Together, they found a way to adapt the existing framework to meet the new requirements while maintaining the quality standards Steve championed.
Key Lessons in Professional Adaptability:
Read the Room Before You Move
Understand existing dynamics
Learn why things are done certain ways
Identify what others value most
Adjust Your Approach
Frame changes in familiar terms
Build bridges, not barriers
Connect new ideas to established principles
Stay Flexible in Your Methods
Have multiple strategies ready
Be willing to take detours
Focus on outcomes, not processes
Build Adaptable Relationships
Ask questions instead of making statements
Show respect for experience
Find common ground in shared goals
Practical Ways to Build Flexibility:
Morning Practice:
Review your day's challenges
Plan multiple approaches
Identify potential resistance points
During Interactions:
Listen more than you speak
Look for underlying concerns
Stay open to unexpected solutions
After Challenges:
Reflect on what worked
Note what you learned
Consider alternative approaches
Remember:
Professional flexibility isn't about always bending to others' will – it's about finding creative ways to achieve your goals while respecting and working with different perspectives. Sometimes the path forward isn't a straight line, and that's okay.
The most successful professionals aren't always the strongest or the smartest – they're often the most adaptable. As Maria learned, sometimes making progress involves a temporary sideways step, or even a backward step to ultimately move forward.
What situation in your workplace might benefit from a more flexible approach?