[difficult people] - 17. Self-Care Strategies when Relating is Tough
Dealing with Difficult People
##Self-Care in Dealing with Difficult People
When Self-Care Isn't Selfish: A Story of Workplace Survival
Jamie's coffee had gone cold – again. She'd been so focused on responding to Michael's latest barrage of urgent requests that she'd forgotten about her coffee, in the same way that she'd forgotten lunch yesterday and her morning walk the day before. Dealing with Michael's constant demands had become all-consuming, and she was starting to feel it in every aspect of her life.
It wasn't until her best friend pointed out the dark circles under her eyes during their monthly video call that Jamie realised how much she'd let her self-care slip. "You're not sleeping," her friend said. "And when was the last time you went to your dance class?"
Jamie couldn't remember. She'd been arriving early and staying late, trying to stay ahead of Michael's demands. Even when she did make it home at a reasonable hour, she found herself checking her phone constantly, anxious about missing an "urgent" email.
The wake-up call came during a presentation to the leadership team. As she stood there, trying to explain their department's quarterly results, her mind went blank. The room started spinning, and she had to excuse herself. Sitting in the bathroom afterward, hands shaking, Jamie knew something had to change.
That evening, instead of working late, she made a list. Not of tasks or deadlines, but of everything she'd stopped doing since Michael joined the team. Dance classes. Morning walks. Lunch breaks with colleagues. Reading before bed. It was a longer list than she'd expected.
The Recovery Plan She Created:
Morning Rituals
Wake up 30 minutes earlier
No email until after breakfast
Quick stretching or meditation
Walk around the block before work
Workday Boundaries
Scheduled breaks in calendar
Lunch away from desk
"Focus time" blocks for important work
Set email check times
Evening Reset
Leave work at set time
Change clothes immediately after work
Exercise or hobby time
Phone on "Do Not Disturb" after 8 PM
The Changes That Made a Difference:
Physical Well-being
Returned to dance class
Meal prep on Sundays
Regular bedtime routine
Weekly yoga session
Emotional Boundaries
Started saying "no" to non-urgent requests
Set up auto-reply for after hours
Scheduled regular catch-ups with friends
Kept a mood journal
Professional Growth
Joined a workplace mindfulness group
Found a mentor outside the department
Learned breathing techniques for stress
Took a conflict management course
Daily Check-In Questions:
Morning:
What's one thing I'll do today just for me?
How can I protect my energy today?
What boundaries do I need to maintain?
Evening:
What went well today?
Did I maintain my boundaries?
What could I do differently tomorrow?
The Results:
Within a month, Jamie noticed changes. She was sleeping better. The tension headaches decreased. She felt more equipped to handle Michael's demands because she was coming from a place of strength rather than depletion.
Most surprisingly, her improved boundaries actually earned Michael's respect. When she wasn't always immediately available, he learned to prioritise his requests better. Her work quality improved because she was focused and refreshed rather than scattered and exhausted.
Remember: Self-care isn't selfish – it's essential. Just like on airplanes, you need to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. Taking care of yourself isn't just about surviving difficult workplace relationships – it's about thriving despite them.
What's one small self-care step you could take tomorrow?