dealing with difficult people

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February 16, 2025

[difficult people] - 15. Communication Strategies for Every Professional

Dealing with Difficult People

##Communication: Skills in Communication

When dealing with difficult people in the workplace, improving certain communication skills can significantly improve interactions and outcomes. Focusing on these skills can help navigate challenging conversations and relationships more effectively:

The Day I Learned to Really Listen: A Story of Workplace Communication

The meeting room felt smaller than usual that Tuesday morning. I was sitting across from David, the senior developer known for being difficult, trying to understand why our last three project handoffs had gone sideways. As I watched him gesture animatedly about missing specifications, I caught myself doing what I always did – mentally preparing my rebuttal instead of truly listening to what he was saying.

Then I remembered the conversation with my mentor from the previous week. "You know," she had said, "sometimes the most difficult people are just people who don't feel heard." Those words made me pause. What if I was contributing to this tension without realizing it?

So instead of jumping in with my defense, I tried something different. I started listening – really listening. "Let me make sure I understand," I said, summarising David's points about the specification gaps. His shoulders relaxed slightly. For the first time, I noticed the frustration in his voice wasn't anger – it was concern about delivering quality work.

That meeting changed everything. Not just with David, but with how I approached workplace communication entirely. As we talked through the handoff process, I found myself using questions to explore his concerns rather than dismiss them. When he mentioned feeling rushed, I acknowledged his perspective instead of immediately explaining why our timelines couldn't change.

By the end of our discussion, we hadn't just solved the handoff issues – we'd found a way to work together that actually played to both our strengths. David's attention to detail, which I had previously seen as obstruction, became a valuable part of our quality control process.

Essential Communication Skills That Made the Difference:

  1. Active Listening

    • Focus fully on understanding, not responding

    • Summarise what you've heard

    • Ask clarifying questions

  2. Emotional Intelligence

    • Notice emotions - both yours and others'

    • Take breaths before responding

    • Recognise when tensions need to cool

  3. Strategic Questioning

    • Use open-ended questions to understand

    • Avoid accusatory "why" questions

    • Listen for what isn't being said

  4. Body Language Awareness

    • Notice your posture

    • Maintain appropriate eye contact

    • Mirror positive body language

  5. Adaptive Communication

    • Match your style to the situation

    • Choose the right time and place

    • Adjust your approach based on feedback

Put It Into Practice:

  1. In your next difficult conversation:

    • What would change if you focused entirely on understanding?

    • How might you phrase your concerns as questions?

    • Where could you pause to check understanding?

  2. Before your next challenging interaction:

    • What's your typical reaction to this person?

    • How could you approach it differently?

    • What outcome would you like to achieve?

Remember: The most challenging workplace relationships often hold the greatest opportunities for growth – both professionally and personally. Sometimes, the simple act of truly listening can transform a difficult colleague into a valuable collaborator.

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