[difficult people] - 10. Mastering Conflict Resolution
Dealing with Difficult People
Conflict: Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict is inevitable in the workplace; there will always be a difference of opinions, and people with different levels of power; sometimes the best idea will win the day, sometimes it will be the HIPPO (HIghest Paid Person’s Opinion) that wins out, whether it’s the best idea or not.
When you’re in the middle of a conflict, there are many things you can try and remember to make the most of the opportunity that you have to advocate for your perspective.
1) Watch your emotional intelligence (EQ)
Recognise that having better self-awareness can help you recognise when someone is pushing your buttons, so you can keep your calm in a difficult situation. Developing empathy - even for a difficult person - can help with clarity of communication in the middle of a conflict.
2) Communication Skills
A combination of skills in active listening (where you’re trying to understand the other person, not just waiting to put in the next word) and being able to be assertive without being aggressive: a combination of respecting your rights, and those of another.
3) Problem-Solving Abilities and Negotiation Skills
When you’re exploring the problem, looking at the deeper underlying issues, and then identifying the root causes. This will help you find lasting solutions. It’s important to remain open to creative compromises that address everyone’s needs and concerns (cf William Ury’s latest book: Possible) - being careful with what concessions you make, given that a difficult person may not be acting with full integrity.
4) Patience and Persistence
In attempting to reach an agreement, remember it will take more than one meeting; keeping a long-term perspective is important, and patience is your ally in helping you keep the communication happening. The more you’re able to stay consistent in your approach, showing that you’re committed to a positive outcome.
5) Stress Management and Well-being
As we’ve said previously in this series, continuing to take care of yourself, whether that be through mindfulness, exercise, or constructive hobbies will help you to maintain your well-being through the challenges of dealing with a difficult person.
Gathering more skills in being able to de-escalate tense situations, using the right words to help reduce the emotional tension in the room, and help return all participants to a place where they are prepared to talk rationally.
6) Professional Development - Seeking Feedback and Reflecting
Keep learning - after a conflict, spend some time reflecting on what went well and what went poorly - seek feedback from colleagues or mentors, so you can keep improving your conflict resolution skills.
You might want to take a short course in negotiation or conflict resolution, or communication - the opportunities to improve, and to build your network, are significant. This can also improve your effectiveness as you take on more leadership roles in the workplace.
If you work through these concepts, it will improve your options in dealing with difficult people through conflict situations.