Card Readings: Hangin' Tough
Put your Tarot down and do a New Kids Dance!
In an attempt to bring order into the chaos that is both my office and existence, I have decided to pull cards from my large stack of trading cards once a week and glean some meaning from them. While my perfectly-good tarot deck may object to this, it also does not contain a non-zero chance of pulling Michael J. Fox from the deck. Our first pull gives us…
…well. Here we have at least two of the New Kids you can probably name showing off unfortunate 80s/90s bridge hairstyles by making obnoxious mustaches out of them. This was the height of mirth and merriment in 1990! For those of you who do not remember them, New Kids on the Block were the first of the 90s boy bands, the ones that set the tone that would result in Backstreet Boys and N*Sync. They were also from Boston, with every bit of attitude and baggage that comes with that. Donnie Wahlberg is still very famous, but I bet that if you can remember them even a little bit you can remember three out of the other four guys.
(Danny. You’re forgetting Danny.)
They had the most successful Pay Per View concert of all time, they helped solve an Unsolved Mysteries mystery, they had cartoons and action figures, and this trading-card set. So they must have been very interesting! C’mon, NKOTB, give us your wisdom!
Yes, kids. Stay in school and you too will become New Kids on the Block! Thirty years later you can play second banana to Tom Selleck on an unkillable CBS cop drama! Check out my crazy hat!
Perhaps not the most universal advice from Mr. Wahlberg, although “stay in school and make friends” is decent enough. We’ll see what we pull next week on Card Readings!