Dear Friend,

Hey there, how’s it going?

I am awake, fresh from yet another dream. I’ve been having quite a few of these, these abstract dreams with people and moments from five lifetimes ago. And once again I’m awake at 4:30 in the morning, early enough to be awake but not early enough to get out of bed. With remanent emotions from my dream still lingering, I’m still trying to make sense of it all… just as the state of alertness is broaching through, carrying with it ideas, to-dos, and words — all filling into the crevices of my headspace.

Sometimes I wish I could talk my dreams through with someone. But that’s usually also when I don’t know if I can, should, or where to begin. Instead I just get up, start my morning routine, and let this isolating feeling dissipate away.

Call Your Girlfriend(s)

The first person I can tell is Ian. Of course there’s Ian, and I do talk to him about my dreams sometimes. But also sometimes not. I don’t have the best answer as to why and how I make that distinction, other than the most honest explanation that sometimes, the things I tell my girlfriends are different from the things I tell my boyfriend.

I’m also not the type of person to expect my partner (or anyone) to play all roles in all aspects of my life. That’s just too much pressure and expectations placed onto one person, y’know? I already know what that’s like as the primary IT support, tax consultant, financial advisor, English translator, and Uber driver to my parents. (It’s fine, but not ideal.)

So next up, would be my friends. Who, yes, sure, but who among my friends in my proximity has the proper and sometimes even historical context for it? Then there’s also just the state of the world, and where everyone’s at in life. Wars, kids, inflation, pets, grief, vacations… maybe now is not the time to unload something like this?

Next level down could be a therapist, if I really want to go deep with it. I used to see one in person, which was so inconvenient at the time but looking back, also irreplaceable. But the thing with therapists is that they’re always trying to get you to be in that vulnerable state, seeking for that breakthrough moment, trying to help you untie some traumatic knot. Loneliness, camaraderie, validation, isolation… let’s break them all down to decipher what these dreams mean over the next ten sessions. Not over Zoom, babe.

Hey Shan, wanna go outside for a min?

What I actually do want is to go outside the IGN building and talk to Shannon, or Eugene, or Vasilis, for some period of time. And just say, “What the fuck?” And for them to say, “Do you wanna go after work, to a bar down the street/at Church & Market?” where we’d just get into it. At the bar we’d yell into each other’s ears because it’s so fucking loud there, while the other one is nodding or screaming back “Yeah!” for solidarity, if nothing else. For hours we would do this, though if we’re in a group then Shannon would sometimes go outside for a smoke break and I’d join, just so we can chat one-on-one and actually talk about something that is ultimately inconsequential. We’d end the Wednesday night (yep, it’s not even Friday) with some hugs, or maybe I’d apologize for making Shannon tear up over my melodramatic stories.

Oh how I miss nights like these. And as awake as I am now (8:30am), and strange as it may be, I suppose this nostalgic feeling from memories of the past isn’t actually that far off from the dream I had earlier this morning. Both eventually fade away, ever slowly, becoming ever hazier over time. But unlike my dreams, I can call up my friends to prove these moments were real. We can reminisce over our shared past, and like a blockchain audit, confirm that they actually happened. Maybe I’ll do that today.

And finally I know, my dear friend, that I can always just tell you. But over the internet come web indexing and prying eyes, scraping and crawling through my every word. I do hope what I’ve shared here was enough for you to recall our own time together, even if only for a minute.

This letter is a bit different from the others, right? I hope you liked it. Earlier this month I had a bunch of other, smaller things I’d wanted to share, but right now I mostly just want to be honest with you.

My website now has a blog where I began jotting down a few smaller ideas. Maybe I’ll share the things I initially wanted to tell you about it there, or maybe I'll just tell you more about it next month. Feel free to check out the blog in the mean time, or bookmark it to watch that space.

And here's the rest of it…

Thanks for reading this and being with me on this journey. Let me know what’s going on in your world, and be sure to share something with me that’s been giving you life (just hit reply or on Bluesky)! You can also check out past issues of Dear Friend, here.

Here’s the rest of it:

• The photos I took this month
• Interesting enough to share but not enough to write about:
  • Edward Norton Interview (the whole video is great, but esp when he recites the Walt Whitman poem)
  • Sinners’s I Lied to You Oscar Performance (in case you missed it)
  • How to Simplify Your Life in 2026 (Podcast)
  • A Surprisingly Effective Way to Fight Misinformation (Ted)
• Don't forget, I’m on Bluesky! Chat with me there!

Love wins