(Quick note: Most of this was written before the news that the US has started yet another war — and for what, especially when there are already so many on top of the countless injustices in the US and around the world. Feelings are how we make sense of our world, yet I have so few of it at this moment beyond the reflex of being shocked, angry, and terrified. The rest are just forming, undercurrent-like and riling within me. For now, please remember to hug your love ones close and be kind to those around you.)

Dear friend,

Hey there, how’s it going?

So one fun side effect of having anxiety is sometimes the most random things would jostle me awake at odd hours. My brain would spin up like a wheezing old hard drive, and I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep afterwards. (I’d consider myself lucky if this happens around 5am, but sometimes this would happen at 1 or 2 am, which is like, the worst case scenario because I’d spend the next 4 hours trying to wrestle myself back to sleep with varying success.)

Some are caused by outside factors, like the sound of heavy rain hitting the gutter outside or a police car siren as they zoom down the narrow street, but the rest are self-inflicted injuries. While having a legit nightmare where all my teeth fall off or being chased by a giant hornet is not ideal (but still understandable), lately I’ve just been consistently waking up from trailing monologues or having unshakable ideas carrying over from my dreams.

While some dreams are work-related, others tend to be some form of me trying to problem-solve or convince someone through (or out of) something. All of these literal dream scenarios are wholly imagined, insomnia all but self-induced. My monologues would trail from my dream state into reality in which I must then let go, or ideas would form to either something I’d feel the urge to write down, or splinter into action items as I’d increasingly work myself up until I’m asleep no more.

On Being A Boring Gay

One of the more recent thoughts was about how some JRPGs have this job or character class system, where party members can be assigned and customized with different classes. For example, a character can initially be a mage and subsequently be assigned as a warrior or a healer.

This random thought then led me down a rabbit hole, like how in my twenties I used to be a really sassy gay that would make jokes at someone else’s expense. How I used to think I was so “cutting and bitingly funny”, where in truth it was but a way to deflect my own hurt and insecurity onto others.

And then over the past decade, as if I switched my character class, I steadily settled in to my boring gay persona (complimentary). I’m not as attention getting as before (largely because my insecurity is better managed through therapy), and I’d like to think there’s this gentler, kinder side to me that didn’t used to exist before.

That’s not to say this is my final form — perhaps there’s yet another character class in me, yet another persona I can switched to in the future. Maybe one where I finally trade in my Uniqlo monochrome wardrobe to something that’s more vibrant, or switching out my current glasses for a gold-trimmed pair like one of them LA gays on IG. Or maybe I just hop back to being a selvedge denim snob. I probably won’t, but it’s interesting to think about.

Anyways, did I mention I’m an overthinker?

On Being A Writer

You know, considering how long I’ve been writing, I’ve never truly considered myself to be a writer. Hell, I’ve been writing you, my dear friend, for six years or so now? Yet the thought of me as a writer just seem strange and had never sat right with me. Part of it may be the bar set by my own insecurity that “I’m simply not good enough”. My grammar sucks and my output is slow, especially comparing to a lot of good writers I do know. (Many of those I still call friends from my IGN days.)

But you know what? If consistently writing for 30 years doesn’t make me a writer, then what does? Also, I don’t think I have to be particularly prolific or proficient to call myself one. "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”, and who am I to argue to Shakespeare?

Plus, in today’s AI era where articles on the internet are increasingly not written by humans but by LLM agents (funny how we've coin these bots with a word of which its definition is "a person who acts on behalf of another person or group"), I might as well stake my claim as one of the last, dying breed of human writers — even if I may be a shitty one at that. So I guess what I’m trying to say is... *takes a deep breath*

Winson Shuen is a writer.

And ever since I’ve assigned myself to this title, I find myself seeing the world with a new perspective. The newsletters and scrum reports that I compose, compile, and edit seem to carry more meaning than before. And I realize my insistence over the choice of words written is not (just) born from my instinctual, God-given stubbornness but because they actually matter to me.

On (the Right to) Be Forgotten

With AI now scraping everything and the internet never forgetting anything, it’s now more important than ever to practice privacy hygiene and the Right to be Forgotten. Firstly, if you live in California, there is now a state-wide law where upon verification, data brokers must delete their collected data on you through a given timeline. You can learn more about DROP here.

Secondly, in some newsletter housekeeping news, I’ve now limited how much of my past newsletters will be accessible to the general public.

• What isn’t changing: You’ll continue to receive this email and get access to my previous newsletter here. If you're the RSS type, you can now add my rss feed to your preferred reader.
• What is changing: The Archive page will only feature back issues from the previous year (or January 2025 as of this letter). That said, reply and let me know if you care/need to see more. There is technically a way to provide for active subscribers (which you are one), but I just need to spend more time doing research.

What I’m into this month:

• Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (Netflix/Crunchyroll): This cozy, beautiful, melancholy anime has been such a nice way to end the work week as new episodes arrive on Fridays. Both seasons start off slowly as an unassumingly cozy watch, and they slow-cook their way to perfection through wonderful character and world-building.

• Jujutsu Kaisen (Netflix/Crunchyroll), paired with Turtle Quirk Recap (YouTube): The it anime from the past few years is back! Though the story arc from the latest season is so complicated (in a good way) that immediately after every new episode, I’d hop over to the Turtle Quirk YouTube channel to have them explain what wtf I just watched. (I did the same thing with Attack On Titan, my all time favorite Anime.)

• The Resurrected 回魂計 (Trailer) (Netflix): This show is a huge leap from the Taiwanese dramas I grew up watching. My mandarin may be rusty nowadays and this show is not for the faint of heart, but a show starring both Shu Qi 舒淇and Lee Sinje 李心潔? As a fan of both The Eye and The Eye 2, um yes please!

• The Power Broker (Bookshop.org), by Robert A Caro: As mentioned last month, I'm spending this year reading this epic of a book. I’m currently at Chapter 10, or Episode 2 of this recap podcast).

Friends of Dear Friend,

Whoa, a new section! This is where I’ll share some of the cool projects or things my friends are working on. (Reply to this email if you want to share what you’re working on — think of this as a community board!):

• Clicky Cycles (YouTube): Just a middle age lady riding trying to find some joy.
• Amelia’s End of the Year Playlist (Apple Music): My college friend with impeccable taste in music shares her 2025 playlist. (And inspired by her, you can check out my 2025 playlist here.)

And here's the rest of it…

Thanks for reading this and being with me on this journey. Let me know what’s going on in your world and be sure to share something with me that’s been giving you life (just hit reply or on Bluesky)! You can also check out past issues of Dear Friend, here.

Here’s the rest of it:

• The photos I took this month
• Interesting enough to share but not enough to write about:
  • Does the Truth Still Matter? (YouTube)
  • In 2026, We Are Friction-Maxxing (The Cut)
  • Social Media Content Isn’t What’s Addictive. This Is. (YouTube)
  • What the Actual Science Says About “Brainrot” (YouTube)
• Don't forget, I’m on Bluesky! Chat with me there!

Love wins