Hey there, how’s it going?

March was a month full of setbacks, what with the general state of the world, stalled progress at work, breaking my exercise habits, and for whatever reason I owe a shit ton of taxes this year. So let’s do something different this time! Instead of trauma dumping to you (why relive the stressful moments?), let me lean in on the good and tell you a bunch of random small things that’s been giving me joy.

Small Things:

• My favorite button: We have an old espresso machine in the office. But the best part of the machine isn’t that we get free espresso (which can be nice!), rather that there’s this button that provides an instant shot of hot water that’s way hotter than other coffee machines. I’m not saying this is my entire motivator for going into the office, but it’s not not a motivation either.
• Park maintenance: Ever since we moved to this apartment, I’ve been going on long runs on most weekends around the neighborhood. A few weeks ago I noticed the city trimmed this tree branch that used to droop down to the point I’d to basically run out in the road.
• Cantonese Club: Cantonese is something so important to my Hong Kong roots and identity, but it’s been steadily disappearing in the Bay Area for the past decade or so. Turns out a Cantonese Club was recently created at our local library, so I went to check it out just last week. It’s more of a Cantonese-speaking class, but it was still cool to see other people interested in learning the difficult language. I hope this can be something I can volunteer at to better help me connect with the local community.
• Trust!: It’s from that Rebecca Black and the music video is utterly unapologetically unhinged that I can’t help but love. (But mind the ~30 seconds of quick flashes, starting at the 0:30 mark.) No notes.
• Cat: The cat from our neighbor downstairs already loves Ian, but in March he’s been slowly warming up to me as well. On a good day I even get to pet him.
• Even more quickies:
  • The new gas pumps at my go-to gas station
  • Wisteria blooming beautifully near my running route
  • This neighborhood dog who always lays down beneath the fence to keep an eye out while catching the afternoon breeze
  • The number of suicides on San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge has decreased by 73% since they installed nettings on both sides of the bridge in 2023 (source)

Affirmation:

It’s too easy to think I’m the same as I ever was when living life one day at a time, if not a tad less than compared to our past selves. (Nostalgic tend to be seen through a rose-tinted filter, after all.) But if I just spend a minute to ponder, even a pessimist like me can count a number of ways my life has improved for the better.

• Even though I’ve been running fairly consistently since 2007, I never used to run for as long or with as many hills as I do now. Running 400 ft elevation gains is like going up a skyscraper each and every time.
• I’m actually much better at my job, not only as a Program Manager but in my professional life in general. I’m showing up to meetings with agendas in hand and have a much better grasp of managing communication and expectations) between teams.
• I don’t attach to people’s expectation of me as much (though still too much). I will always be a people pleaser and criticisms (or even just non-positive comments) will always bug me. But I do have a better handle of my emotional state than before. A part of this is not trying to convince people if they’re not here to listen. As French philosopher Sartre once said, “Hell is other people.”
• I’m a better ally to people different than me. This is so cliché, but the past few years has truly opened my eyes in how I see the world. When wealth inequalities and racial injustices is so blatant, rampant, and persistent across every facet of American Life™, we cannot afford to not stand together and not be each other’s allies. Where I once used my (toxic) sense of humor to hide my insecurity, I’ve since replaced it with genuine empathy, allowing me to stand tall with pride.

Utopia:

I’ve been trying hard to disassociate and unsubscribe from the current, dire state of affairs, but I haven’t really thought about the place I’m hoping to escape to. What does Utopia even look like for me? It’s honestly a difficult question, if not outright impossible, to answer.

But growing up in San Francisco, I was always surrounded by beautiful murals, especially of diverse people living together in harmony. Whether aspirational or imagined, these images were are something that I have always associated with life in America. It’s always been a North Star to believe not just that all of us are equal, but also that each of us can help strengthen all of us.

When I imagine utopia, I dream of a world where no one needs to live out in the street and have plenty to eat. I dream of a world where life is manageable without the need to outsource labor onto anyone else. A world where people can truly learn from history to avoid mistakes, instead of using it as blueprint to repeat past tragedies. I dream of a world where cultures are respected, celebrated, and to be built upon, instead of silenced and torn down for selfish gain. I dream of a world where people are able to hold context and think outside of their immediate selves — to actively build toward better lives for future generations in this lone planet that all of us are lucky enough to share.

I don’t know how, when, or if any of this can ever happen. But I strive to keep living better even as things become worse. Until then, what does your utopia look like?

And here's the rest of it…

Thanks for reading this and being with me on this journey. Let me know what’s going on in your world and be sure to share something with me that’s been giving you life (just hit reply or on Bluesky)! You can also check out past issues of Dear Friend, on my website. Here’s the rest of it:

• The photos I took this month
• What’s worth remembering in March 2025
• Interesting enough to share but not enough to write about:
  • Stunning Public Health Posters From World War II
  • Good News: Because every bit of good news helps!
  • This cat is an absolute UNIT: I love cat grooming videos
• I’m on Bluesky, follow me there!