(Quick note: Most of this was written before the plane crash accident in DC from earlier this week. The analogy from The Prologue section was used to help structure out the rest of the newsletter, so I just want to provide that context — it’s written not to make light of the tragedy and certainly without any ill intent.)

Hey there, how’s it going?

This January has been tiresome and endlessly long, one so filled with emotions, anxiety, and dread. To cope, I’ve been staying offline to journal out my thoughts and emotions — some eventually became ideas and made their way into this newsletter. It’s a long one, so let’s get right into it.

Prologue — The Crosswinds

I came across this video on YouTube and it’s pretty timely. While the video is pretty nice by itself, the part that really jumped at me begins at the 5-minute mark, where a Victor Frankl lecture explains how airplane pilots manages crosswinds. If a pilot were to fly east from point A to point B, they would have to account for the crosswinds and routinely fly northeast instead just to get to where they ultimately want to go. “If we take man as he really is, we make him worse. If we promote him to what he really can be… If we are overestimating, overrating man, looking at him that high, here above…then we’ll wind up as the true, the real realist.”

I came across this video on YouTube a few weeks ago. While the video is pretty nice by itself, the part that jumped at me begins at the 5-minute mark, where a Viktor Frankl lecture explains how airplane pilots manage crosswinds. If a pilot were to fly east from point A to point B, they would have to account for the crosswinds and routinely fly northeast instead just to get to where they ultimately want to go. “If we take man as he really is, we make him worse. If we promote him to what he really can be… If we are overestimating, overrating man, looking at him that high, here above…then we’ll wind up [not as a potential idealist but] as the true, the real realist.”

• No. The world is not falling apart. (YouTube)

So for the rest of the month I’ve devised an actionable plan to aim higher in order to get through this crosswind for the upcoming year(s). Here’s what I’ve got so far — and in classic cheapskate Winson fashion — most of these don’t cost a dime.

Pull v Push

Instead of relying on algorithms and feeds to push (or cram) ideas down our throats, whiplashing our moods and thoughts from one second to the next, I will focus on pulling, or to actively search and inquire for things I need. Here’s what I’m practicing exactly:

• Goodbye Facebook. This one is by far the easiest, as I haven’t been on there for years and no one has really messaged me there for quite some time. I can ramble on the why FB sucks but * gestures broadly at everything *. Bye bitch.
• Manually search for things I need. Google now forces AI Overview to me in every search — often with inaccurate information — with no way to opt out. But I also noticed how when I google for something, I’m usually just searching for facts (on Wikipedia) or community advice (on Reddit). So I’ve been going directly to those websites/apps instead. (Bonus: Instructions to set Wikipedia as your default search engine.)
• Opt out. People usually associate algorithms with news and social media feeds, which is definitely true, but algorithm also applies to targeted advertising — which is powered by tracking who and where you are on the internet. Opting out means prioritizing your privacy and restricting ways companies can track you. This can be accomplished (or at least be helped) by a series of smaller actions: unsubscribing e-commerce newsletters, deleting unused accounts (or not signing up frivolous ones to begin with!), denying permission access from apps (some want my “Motion and Fitness” data? For what!?), removing notifications (or deleting apps entirely) on my phone, using a secure browser, installing a VPN, the list goes on. You can also check out my previous newsletter to learn how to easily enable privacy settings on your Mac/iPhone.

Make the Room Smaller

Even before X, most social media or comment sections offer this unlimited place for people to spill their hot takes in exchange for “engagement”, often with zero context or wiggle room for productive discussions. So one way we can avoid being triggered by unsolicited hot takes is to divide up this singular, endless room into smaller ones that are intentionally created with built-in context. If I must exist in a place driven by algorithms, then the least I can do is to make these rooms smaller.

• Instagram: If I were to fully remove myself from IG, I’d miss a lot of the social connections with my friends (who are still active on there) as well as news from overseas. So I split my IG into three accounts: one with friends, one with influencers (e.g.: musicians/artists), and the third one with news outlet and other companies. My main account now connects me closer with friends so I don’t mind checking it daily, where I’d check the influencer account maybe once a week, and I haven’t been compelled to check on the news one like, at all.
• Reddit: I now use Reddit in a way that’s very countered to their design. Instead of following any of the specific subreddits (again with the algorithm), I have built a series of custom feeds based on my interests. For example, I’ve created one for all things Apple (which includes all types of Apple subreddits), one called Home (a collection of Bay Area subreddits), then Goodnews (subreddits that are strictly good-vibes-only 💅), etc. That way, I’m not whiplashed by my main feed (i.e.: going from politics, then Animal Crossing, then data graphs, and then apparently cats??). So now I’m intentionally clicking on specific feeds (pulling) toward a specific interest, with the correct mindset of that subject at that time. It’s been working super well and I’m very proud of myself on this one.
• YouTube: While I can also split my YouTube account by various proximity or topics, thankfully YouTube already has another built-in tool that’s been working well for me: Watch Later. That is, if the feed is recommending something intriguing to me, I would add that video to my Watch Later instead of blindly clicking on the video. That way I’m not immediately getting sucked in to that video without being mindful of the time it takes or how I may feel afterwards. When I finally have time (usually after work and before bed), I can devote 15-30 minutes to comb through this list — and a lot of times what I once thought was interesting is no longer hitting me the same way, or that the news is now outdated or irrelevant. Then I can just remove that video and save myself some time.

Straight up Isekai Outta Here

Isekai has really come into its own in the past few years. Primarily referred to as a genre of Anime, Isekai is a plot device where a character either dies or is magically transport into a different world. When things get rough around here (I mean…), sometimes I just need a way to GTFO my daily worries and dive into something entirely different.

• Read fiction. The simple truth is that I have never loved reading, at least not in the way book lovers do. But just like flossing or cleaning the apartment, I never regret taking the time to do it afterwards. Because unlike any other experiences, reading grants me direct access into the mind of someone else, allowing me to live in a world and time in their shoes so different from my own. I may never know what it’s like to be a young black kid from Brooklyn going to an uppity prep school in the upper west side, but reading True True by Don P. Hopper lets me feel, think, see, and hear what Gil’s going through at least for a little bit.
• Animal Crossing. What I love about Animal Crossing is the ability to complete tasks with no effort in a world that is entirely wholesome and non-threatening. Instant validation with a hit of dopamine. Even on days where I didn’t get much done or when my mental energy is all but drained, I can disassociate to a place where all I have to do is to pick fruits for my animal villagers, who are always grateful as they sing me praises.

Amelia’s Playlist

My friend Amelia has fantastic taste in music, and last month she shared with me her annual playlist. I was feeling pretty meh earlier last week so I went for a walk and put it on and y’all, it is fire. Listening through it simultaneously refilled my battery and I felt so connected to her at that moment. Give it a listen, and I hope it makes your day the way it did mine.

• 2024 End of Year Playlist (Apple Music)

With this in mind, please reply and share something with me that’s been giving you life, whether that be a song, a playlist, a book, a podcast, whatever — I’ll be sure to check it out and you’ll be on my mind the entire time.

Epilogue - Sources for My Ideas & Other Inspirations

Most of my ideas were inspired (or straight up taken) from the following pieces of content I came across. Especially the first one, How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell, a book so full of historical and philosophical nerdery that it really scratched my over-thinking brain a wonderful way. Check these out if you have the time:

• Book: How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy
• Article: The Creative Power of Procrastination, A User’s Guide to Following the News
• Feeling stuck in your daily life? Here’s a list of things you’re allowed to do

And here's the rest of it…

Thanks for reading this and being with me on this journey. Let me know what’s going on in your world and be sure to share something with me that’s been giving you life (just hit reply or on Bluesky)! You can also check out past issues of Dear Friend, on my website. Here’s the rest of it:

• I redesigned my website! Same BS, now in a different font
• The photos I took this month
• What’s worth remembering in January 2025
• Interesting enough to share but not enough to write about:
  • Apple Music Live: Björk (Apple Music, TV+): She is a treasure, we do not deserve her
  • Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, Ryuichi Sakamoto (YouTube)
  • Jon Stewart & AOC (YouTube, Podcasts)
  • How to manage News:
    • A User’s Guide to Following the News (Article)
    • The Logoff (Newsletter): As-short-as-possible explanation of the most important Trump news of the day so you can log off and get back to the rest of your life.
• I’m on Bluesky, follow me there!

Love wins