Dear friend,

(Quick note: You may notice this is now sent from friend@winsonshuen.com. I’ve decided to splurge on the newsletter service, which now allows me to send from my own domain and other niceties. Please add this email to your address book to ensure this email stays in your inbox and out of your junk folder. Thanks!)

Hey there, how’s it going?

I don’t exactly recall how, but a while ago I learned about /Now pages, where people with websites would create a simple page on what they’re up to… like right now. This concept isn’t earth-shattering, but considering the fact that I already have my daily log of “What’s Worth Remembering” and this monthly newsletter to you, the idea of adding a simple page on what I’m up to right now seems to fit right in.

Anyways, I finally took the time to create my own /Now page earlier this month. During the setup process, the system asked “What do you actually do? (in one sentence)”, and as if pulled out of me, I simply wrote, “I help people connect their wants with ways to make them happen.”

I’ve never thought of myself in that way, but it does feel apt and authentic across my many identities (of being a Program Manager, a partner, a friend, a son, etc.). In every personality test taken, I’m consistently classified as a helper, a nurse, a communicator, things like that… I do feel my overall sense of self is to be helpful to those around me. So let me ask you the same: What do you actually do (In one sentence)? Hit reply and let me know.

Summer of Reading

Looking back at my BuJo (try and scrape this, AI), I’ve been on a tear with reading books this year. My original goal was to read ten fiction books this year and I’ve already finished my seventh as of last week. While not all the books have the same length or even reading difficulty (again, Wind in the Willows almost broke me), I'm really enjoying the notion of settling in to a good book — like imma just be here in the next hour while disappearing into another life so different than my own. This quote sums up my feeling about books the best:

"The meaningful parts of a culture, like books, only show up when you give them time. They hide parts of their personality and only reveal themselves once you stop, slow down, and commit to them for a little while." — David Perell, Against 3X Speed

If you have any good book recommendations (especially in fiction), hit reply and let me know!

Ross is America

Ian and I found ourselves at a Ross Dress for Less one weekend, and man, it was a vibe. The second we walked in, we were immediately greeted by sales people pitching us their Ross credit card and right next to them stood this security guard holding a massive gun. Once we walked past all that, there was this store filled with so much stuff, items messily grouped together into shelves in seemingly random aisles. When we tried to go upstairs, the escalators were out of service (of course), with the only way up through this lone elevator.

While we were waiting for the elevator, I watched customers pick out stuff from messy shelves (and/or off the floor). The thing about Ross is that they sell both crap no one needs and essential items, so you'd see customers browsing for discounted jeans or trying out shows while holding some obscure home decor or even giant bags of Tajín Gummy Bears.

All of this isn’t to say shit about Ross, because there were so many customers from all walks of life shopping at a store that clearly served a function. The checkout line is always long, but the people behind the counter were really nice, super busy, and simply doing their best to keep the line moving. I said to Ian then, “Ross is America”, because at a place so far from perfect, everyone inside it is doing their best to simply exist and to get through their day. Ross is also a place that’s not trying to be anything else, and so in that sense I feel way more at ease there than, say, at a bougie Louis Vuitton store. On the way out, we were greeted by a second security guard, big gun-totting and all, who checked our receipt and said, “Thank you, have a nice rest of your day” with a sincere smile.

But What If You Let Go?

My anxiety has steadily crept out of my head and into my daily life over the past few years. There’s no singular reason but just all of it — the forgotten but definitely still lingering COVID-19, the current state of the world, the high inflation that's yes-anded by the unnecessary tariffs, my demanding job to do more and to go faster — you name it. My anxiety is a big part of why I now grind my teeth and have work-related dreams on most nights. (Ian tells me my night-talking is indiscernible from when I’m in Webex calls.) And during the day in very stressful moments, I can literally feel my cells jittering throughout my entire body.

From my time talking to my counselor about anxiety, we discussed how there’s not any one magical solution, or really any new solutions beyond what I’ve already been doing, which is to create space between my immediate thoughts and feelings with other actions that can provide some grace. So things like disappearing into a book for a while, reflecting in my BuJo, going on my long runs, and meditation are concretely built into my daily and weekly routines.

And speaking of, usually after my weekly long runs, I would find a quiet spot to sit/meditate for 5 minutes. This helps me cool down and feel the breeze while I practice deep breathing. During one of these sessions, this thought of “you can forgive someone even if what they did was not okay" came to mind, as well as images of the few people that I still held grudges against.

Sitting there at that quiet spot, I eventually asked myself "And what if, just for a second, I let all of this go?” By that time my post-run sweat had caught up and poured all over my face. And while it was absolutely gross, it also felt cleansing in a way, and in that moment my mind was not racing with what-ifs, and my cells were not “jittering all over”; in that moment I simply felt the breeze and this peace within me. It was really nice.

And here's the rest of it…

Thanks for reading this and being with me on this journey. Let me know what’s going on in your world and be sure to share something with me that’s been giving you life! You can also check out past issues of Dear Friend, on my website.

Here’s the rest of it:

• The photos I took this month
• What’s Worth Remembering in August
• Interesting enough to share but not enough to write about:
  • A goat was thrown into a tiger’s enclosure as his live feed only to become his friend
  • Reporter's Notebook: An antidote to digital distraction from 1937
  • Survey finds many Asian Americans don't feel accepted in the U.S.

Love wins