Dear Reader,

This week I’m going to talk about doing things for myself and what that means as a woman. Young girls are often conditioned to be aware of how their behavior affects others. Which, while empathy is a good thing, this over-apologizing often continues through to adulthood. As women we often struggle with how society views us in terms of confidence, intelligence, ambition, and how we assert ourselves in the world. Let’s stop over-prioritizing politeness and realize that we can lead with directness and still be polite. I did two simple things last week that were just for me. One of those things involved saying yes, and one of those things involved saying no. It’s ok to do things just for ourselves, and it’s also ok to politely say no to an invitation without feeling guilty or saying I’m sorry. When the situation calls for it, real, heartfelt apologies are good, and necessary. But, saying I’m sorry out of habit is not.

Saying yes

Last week I finished crocheting a dress for myself. This might not sound like anything out of the ordinary for a fiber artist, but it is. I tend to just acquire crochet pieces from my inventory when they don’t sell. The only other garment I specifically crocheted for myself was a cardigan. And, that was probably almost ten years ago. The reason for this is mainly the fact that I convinced myself that I never had the time. And, to a certain degree that’s true, but I decided to start making time for myself. And, one of the ways I’m doing that is giving myself permission to make things just for me.

I had a lot of fun making this dress. Once I finished the bodice, it just started to flow. I always find that when I get in a groove with a crochet project, especially a big one like this, I have to literally make myself stop, or I’d just sit there and crochet all day. It’s so mesmerizing and relaxing for me that I get lost in the process. It’s almost the same feeling I get when I read a really amazing book that transports my into the pages. I don’t have a new project in the works yet, but I have some ideas bouncing around my brain.

Saying no

In my journey of making more time for myself by saying yes to things I would normally feel like I didn’t have time to do, I also have started to say no to things that I don’t want to do. I was asked to do an event last week that seemed interesting, and unlike anything else I’ve ever done before. Initially, I was excited, because it was something new. But, the more I thought about it and the incredible amount of work it would entail, I started to question whether or not I wanted to participate. The host of the event thought that it would create a new customer base for me, but I really didn’t see that happening. I was grateful that I was asked, and it did make me feel a bit guilty at first to think about saying no. But, after careful consideration, I thanked the event organizers for asking me, and I politely declined. I knew I made the right decision, and it felt good.

These two experiences last week were pretty eye-opening for me and I definitely learned something about myself. I’ve always done a pretty good job of taking care of my emotional needs personally, but learning how to do that as it relates to my business is a constant learning curve. It’s difficult to navigate how to not always be working, say no when necessary, and find a work/life balance. How do you literally not work all of the time when you love what you do? Well, I’m still working on that one, but I think making things just for me is a step in the right direction.

Saying no is another way that I’m creating boundaries and figuring out what works best for me and my business. It’s hard to not have FOMO when events seem to be happening everywhere you turn. I’m going to continue to weed out the art shows that didn’t work out as well and not return to those this season. Even though some of these events are run by very nice people, I can’t continue to do them if attendance is low or if the shows are just not the right fit for me.

I think having a studio where people can shop has been a HUGE help in working towards quality and not quantity when it comes to which events I choose to do. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on shows, when people can come and shop in my studio anytime. It’s also infinitely less stressful to pop over and meet customers without having to travel and set up. To say that I’m grateful for my studio is an understatement. I don’t know how I lived without one for so long. I’m still looking forward to the special art shows where I’ll always vend. But, I’m also looking forward to many shopping appointments with my lovely customers when we’ll all out and about more in the spring and summer.

A Dream

Amidst my yes and no journey last week, I also had an intensely vivd dream. This is nothing new for me, but this dream was almost cinematic. In the dream I was both a part of it, and also an outside observer looking down on the scene I’m about to describe. Picture a huge fleet of ancient ships, which based on their design, I would say probably were Japanese. We were headed off to war and I was the commander. I knew that I did not believe in the war and I didn’t want to be a part of it, but I kept this to myself. Something tells me that in the dream that I was appointed to the position, because I clearly did not want to be there. And also, I kept my feelings to myself because I didn’t want to disappoint my crew. This huge fleet of ships were sailing on calm waters and I was sailing in a separate vessel. We were sailing under huge aqueducts, when we separated. The ships went off to the right and I went off to the left as a huge covering was put over the ship hiding it from view.

Of course, since I am and always will be an English Major, I had to look up any interpretations I could find.

Here is a breakdown of the symbolism:

• The War Vessel: Represents the ego, your personal power, or a situation that requires strength, defense, or intense focus. Being in control of it suggests you are taking charge of your life's direction.

• Calm Waters: Signify peace, clarity, and the end of a turbulent period, suggesting that you have reached a place of stability.

• Separation from Crew/Solitude: Highlights a need to face situations individually, relying on your own strength, or a feeling of being "aloof" or detached. It suggests self-reflection and independence in managing your responsibilities.

• Potential for Conflict: The presence of a war vessel, despite the calm, may represent latent, unresolved issues or a need to remain vigilant even during peaceful times. 

This dream scene implies a time to rest, but also a call to trust in your own ability to navigate your life's path. 

May you navigate your own waters in life and realize your value in the world. I truly appreciate all of you who choose to be here and read my newsletter.

xo,

Christa

Last week at a glance

• I finished sculpting my paper clay shelf

  

• I finished my crochet dress. (as you know)

• Since I have a ton of fabric scraps and I’m almost out of patches, I made some.

• I found a new earring display at the thrift store for $5. Even though I have many different earring displays, it never hurts to have another one.

• I made waffles so the kids could have ice cream for breakfast. (a day late)

• My family went bowling with friends. I haven’t been bowling that much in my life, but it’s strange how not much has changed.

• My family and I finished watching Gilmore Girls together. I’ve watched the show countless times, but this was the first time my kids saw it. I can’t even describe what a joy it’s been in my life to share books, movies, tv shows, and music that I love with my kids and watch them enjoy it. It’s truly magical.

• Of course we started watching Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.

• I spent another week only going on instagram to check my dms and it felt right. I am planning on posting today though.

• My husband and I watched If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. We both really liked it.

• I read The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

  I’m debating whether or not to watch the movie, because it had mixed reviews.

• I enjoyed my daily walks with Albus in the frigid temperatures. It’s invigorating. I go outside every day regardless of the weather, and I 100% support the old German proverb about bad weather.

  There is no such thing as bad weather, only wrong clothing.

  I wear a very long down puffer coat, warm snow boots, warm socks, hat, mittens, neck warmer and/or scarf and this works like a charm. If the sun is shining like it has been this winter, that’s just an added bonus. I could do without the excessive wind though.

• I played some piano and guitar which felt great because I’ve been slacking off.

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  Links

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  Website: https://www.wildchildfibers.com

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