Dear Reader,

I’m not an insecure person, and I think people who know me would agree. I was born an old soul, and I’ve had a pretty decent sense of who I was for a long time. Not saying that it hasn’t evolved over the years, but at the core I was always authentic. Did this mean that people thought I was odd? Of course. Do people sometimes still think I’m odd? Yep, probably, but I’m ok with that. Do you remember that scene in Gilmore Girls where Rory is at party at Madeline’s house and she’s reading her book? Tristan comes in the room and when they’re talking about the party she tells him that it gave her a chance to catch up on her reading. Then he tells her that she’s very odd. And, she says, “thank you.” That really resonated with me. She doesn’t feel bad about him calling her odd because it’s just who she is and she’s ok with that.

Since I’ve always been in my own little world, it probably made sense that I would want to pursue a creative life. Ever since I was a teenager I’ve been involved in either writing or making some form of art, so being judged based on something I created is nothing new to me. When I was writing full-time I would only show my writing to people who would give me an honest opinion. I didn’t want people to read it who would just tell me what they thought I wanted to hear. Meaning, those who would only say good things and not offer constructive criticism. Because, even though they were being kind, it wasn’t helpful.

I’ve been a part of many art and writing critiques throughout undergraduate and graduate school. Even though, at times these can be intense, I always appreciated the feedback. There’s nothing like sitting in a circle with everybody from your writing class and reading your story aloud. I actually always found the process pretty exhilarating. Reading your story in front of your peers, who were going to scrutinize your work was a huge motivation to try your best. While the academic setting was insulated, it did prepare me to withstand critiques and have confidence in my work as long as I knew that it was authentic and I did my best.

I’d like to think that those skills I learned in school so long ago are still useful in my career now. Rejection as well as success comes in many forms when you’re an artist. I know that my work has a very specific style that does not appeal to everyone because it’s not mainstream. If I followed trends just for the purpose of sales, I’d lose myself in the process. I wouldn’t be making art for me. Everything that I create is an extension of me, and I put my heart into every piece. Not everyone stops by my booth at shows. Some keep right on walking, others stop by and peruse, but don’t purchase. Then there are those who walk into my space and I see their eyes light up. They get it. And, there’s an instant connection. It’s really quite amazing to see someone find a very special one-of-a-kind piece that speaks to them. I feel like as a person, I’m a lot like the work that I create. Many people don’t understand me, some wonder what’s going on, but when I meet someone who’s on the same wavelength, it’s like we’ve always known each other.

This newsletter is an extension of me. It’s basically like my personal journal with boundaries. And in this space, just like in life, what you see is what you get. I am who I am without artifice. Last week, not long after I published my newsletter and sent it out into the world, I received an email that someone had unsubscribed. I don’t have a ton of subscribers, but to my knowledge, no one thus far has unsubscribed. And, for some reason, it really upset me. So much so, that I even considered the possibility of not writing the newsletter anymore.

Since introspection is something that I’m very fond of, I tried to figure out why I felt this way. Usually this goes on in my head for a while, but ultimately I talk it through with someone so I can figure things out. As a creative person and a working artist, I’ve certainly faced my fair share of rejection. I’m not saying that at times it hasn’t been difficult, but it’s never truly upset me. I’m confident in myself and the work that I make. Rejection is just part of the process if you work in a creative field. Every time you show your work to the world you make yourself vulnerable. And, the response that people have to viewing, reading, or listening to art is purely subjective. We all have a very different experience.

But, why is it that I’ve spent my whole life sitting through art critiques, reading my writing aloud to my peers, submitting work, and showing my work at various venues and I’ve never felt the same sting of rejection like I did last week when I lost a subscriber? I think it’s because it felt more personal. What I write here isn’t fiction. It isn’t a short story with characters I created. And, even though when I did that I was very invested in my work, somehow, it’s not the same. Here I share personal essays, my thoughts and feelings, and I talk to my subscribers like I would a friend. So, when someone decided that they weren’t interested, that rejection really hit me where it hurt. But, in reality, what probably happened is that what I write here didn’t resonate with that subscriber, or they really didn’t spend much time reading the newsletter, and decided that they didn’t want yet another subscription. After some reflection and realization that everything isn’t about me, I can say that I truly understand.

We’ve all had experiences in life where we’ve been rejected. It’s an unfortunate part of life whether you work in a creative field or not. But, it’s about how you handle those ups and downs. Some are minor like the one I’m talking about today, and others are monumental. No matter how small though, all of these experiences change us because of how we react and what we learned. I allowed myself to be upset about this pebble-sized bump in the road, knowing that it’s just one of many that I will face. And, this one basically only resulted in a bit of a bruised ego. I can handle that.

So, I will continue to show up here every week and write this newsletter. My hope is that some of the folks who land here will find things that they can relate to, and that they’ll appreciate my honesty. But, if they’re not into it, I’m going to have to let that go. We’re inundated with too much information today and algorithms that dictate what we see and what we don’t see. I’d like to think of this space as an alternative to that. So I’ll keep creating here in my tiny little world on the internet and write about things that are clunking around in my brain. If you want to come along for the ride, welcome. If you decide that you want to get off the ride, that’s ok too.

I truly appreciate all of you who choose to be here and read my newsletter.

xo,

Christa

Last week at a glance

• I keep hearing woodpeckers every time I’m out walking, but I haven’t been able to locate any of them in the trees yet.

• I made a bunch of tote bags. A number of years ago I decided to stop buying any merchandise bags for my business. So, now I have handmade totes which I offer for free with purchase of clothing or you can also purchase them separately. I also make small fabric and paper gift bags for jewelry too. My hope is that people will reuse them in their own gift giving or in daily life.

• I started watching season three of The Comeback.

• I’ve been watching DTF St. Louis, and I think I know who killed you-know-who (no spoilers), but I’m not sure. It honestly could be anyone. FYI, I don’t mean Voldemort when I say you-know-who.

• I made more small paper clay bowls and listed them on the website.

  

• I dropped off earrings, necklaces, and clothes at River Pearl in Marietta.

• I’m still reading Live From New York. It’s a pretty long book. The first chapter was boring, but now I’m invested. Back when I was in high school and college I considered being a writer for SNL. I really could never see myself living in New York though. My vibe is west coast, even though I’ve spent most of my life on the east coast.

• My family got a Hersheypark membership again this year. It’s a great way to entertain the kids and their friends all summer. Since I get motion sick on just about everything, I stick to the water rides. Luckily my friend and mom to the kids’ bffs also suffers from severe motion sickness. We get to hang out while everyone else goes on the rides.

• I did more rearranging in the studio. When you have a small space it’s an ongoing thing.

• The album of the week on Hoopla was Tusk. Even though I knew some of the songs, I’ve never listened to the whole album. Everyone told me that it was amazing, but honestly, I think Rumors is infinitely better. Every time I listen to any awesome ‘70s tunes, it reminds me of summers I spent with my cousin at my grandparents’ house. Any of that great music from the ‘70s takes me back to riding around with my amazingly cool aunt in her little white Toyota. She’s still the coolest.

• I watched Peaky Blinders:The Immortal Man with my husband. I thought I’d like the movie more than I did, since I loved the tv show. But, not so much. Cillian Murphy never disappoints though.

• We had a house key made for our youngest. Everyone’s a grown up now.

• My oldest has a job, and training was on Saturday.

• I thought about making a paper clay chair. I think I might start with a small bench, because if it can’t hold a person’s weight it could always be a table. The challenge of this intrigues me.

• My paper clay art ideas didn’t work out. I think it’s because I prefer working more three dimensionally. I’ll probably work through some ideas again though, and see where I land.

• I gathered up a bunch of yarn for some spring crochet tops.

• My kids and I walked over to the Big Bloom Second Sunday Art Market so my youngest could get a birthday present for a friend. He found the perfect gift and I saw a friend who I’ve vended with at many shows over the years.

• All of my winter crochet apparel and accessories are on sale. Buy one item and get the second item of equal or lesser value for 50% off. This will be an ongoing sale both in the studio (online through instagram if any non-locals see anything they’d like), and at my April and May shows.

• We went to the farm stand where we get our milk, eggs, and a lot of our produce.

  

  Upcoming shows

• April: Odd One’s Bizarre

• May: Landis Valley Herb and Garden Faire

  Links

  Email: wildchildfibers@gmail.com

  Website: https://www.wildchildfibers.com

  If you’re in Marietta, you can find my work at

  River Pearl Studio.

  Book a shopping appointment: here

  Anytime 20% off discount in the online store for subscribers