Returning to myself
Dear Reader,
Have you ever had a pure moment? By this I mean a a meaningful experience or connection, either something simple or profound. I have had many of these in my life, ranging from intense experiences like saying I love you for the first time, the birth of my kids, or anything involving nature or animals. Also, something as simple as my cat curling up on my lap as I type this newsletter.
Last week, I had a pure moment and an epiphany all rolled into one as I was playing the piano. A little background before I continue. I play piano and guitar. I started playing piano when I was nine, and I was taught by my grandmother. When I graduated from high school I received a guitar (per my request), and I taught myself to play. I've been playing both instruments (more or less) ever since.
So, back to my story. I hadn't been playing the piano very much lately, but last week, I was just compelled to sit down and play. My family watched the most recent season of Wednesday, and the music teacher was playing Zombie by the Cranberries on the piano. Ever since I heard that I knew I had to find the sheet music. So, that's what I did. Well, since I probably hadn't played for almost a year, needless to say, I was very rusty. Slowly, I played, making many mistakes along the way and feeling pretty discouraged. At some point during this, I had a pure moment. I just felt that my grandmother was sitting on the bench right next to me the way she would have when I had my piano lessons. I could literally feel her presence and her calm serene way as she told me, much like she did when I was a kid and I was having trouble with a piece, "just keep going." As I sat there and played, still stumbling, but my fingers finding their way along the keys, my eyes filled with tears. She carried me through the song. After I finished, I stepped away and had a good cry.
I remembered all the times I had sat next to my grandmother on the piano bench for so many years. How we'd sit and talk, and laugh together. My grandmother and I understood each other. We were both introverts who loved animals, we both loved books and kept journals. Most notable for my grandmother was the journal she kept when she and my grandfather drove out west on their honeymoon. But, despite my introverted tendencies, I've still always been a talker. My elementary (and probably junior high) report cards are living proof of that. I was a storyteller who always had something to say, and my quiet, reserved grandmother, who called me Cricket, loved to listen.
This pure moment I had while sitting at my piano was also an epiphany. Why hadn't I played for so long? Why had my piano basically become a place where family members sat their books, keys, ear buds, etc.? As adults we become busier and more distracted, and we often tend to lose touch with who we were as children. We forget what we used to love. What brought us joy. Like I forgot how amazing it was to sit at the piano and play the songs I loved and listened to when I was a kid. While I still play guitar pretty regularly, I had lost my love for the piano and the connections it held with my grandmother. That pure moment I had brought it all back to me. I wasn't focused on how hard it was to play a song that should have been easy for me. Instead, I persevered and rediscovered a part of myself.
I've regained my practice now, and last week I played guitar and piano every day, even if it was just a couple of songs. I might still shed some tears when I play the piano, but they aren't necessarily sad. Because every time I sit down to play, my grandmother is with me.
May you have a pure moment this week.
xo,
Christa
Last week at a glance
- I had fun with my cordsmith tools, and I made some things that I'll be bringing with me to my show on Sunday.
Witches Brew Makers Market! — West Art
Local vendors and artists!
- I painted some fabric that I'll be incorporating into a mixed media piece I'm submitting to a a show by the end of this month.
- The thrift gods were smiling upon us yet again. My husband was dropping off some things at Habitat For Humanity when someone pulled up who was dropping off a new Solo Stove. He bought the stove, which would sell for almost $700 retail for $120. What????
- I practiced my piano and guitar every day this week.
- We harvested a lot of tomatoes, tomatillos, and peppers from the garden.
- My elderberry literally has sagging branches due to the weight of the berries. I must admit that harvesting is a bit of a pain. If you've done it you know what I mean.
- My account is still deactivated on instagram and I've not missed it at all.
- We got some peaches from a farm stand and my husband made peach pie. It was delicious.
- I went hiking with my family and we managed to finish up moments before a thunderstorm. For some reason that always feels pretty awesome. I've also been caught in thunderstorms out in the woods and even on the top of a mountain. That's not so awesome.
- I discovered a new space to share my work online. It's perfect, because it's not social media. I have it listed below in gallery if you're interested.
- I'm waiting to hear back about the status of my grant, which I will know on the 21st.
- I woke up way too early several times this week and went back to sleep and then slept too late. For me that means about 8:30. That always makes me feel like the day is too short.
- I still haven't started my Halloween costume because I'm not in fall mode yet. I think my husband and I are going to be victorian ghosts.
Links
Email: wildchildfibers@gmail.com
Website: https://www.wildchildfibers.com
Gallery: here
Anytime 20% off discount in the online store for subscribers.
If you’d like the coupon code, leave a comment and I’ll give you the code. ♡ ♡
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.