Returning to myself

Dear Reader,

It certainly can be difficult working as a self-employed artist for many reasons. Just the act of creating and sharing is a big first step. Getting over the self-doubt and wondering if people will like what you’ve made. Or worse yet, feeling that you might be criticized, judged, or not understood. But, once you get over those hurdles, different ones await. How will people discover your work? Where can you sell the things you make? I’ve been fortunate to be able to make things that bring me joy and evolve over the years as I venture down different creative paths and try new things. While following my heart and not trends has probably not made me as popular as I could be, I’ve always found my customers. Or more accurately, they’ve always found me.

I come from a place of authenticity in my work, mostly because that’s who I am as a human. If I create something just because I think it will sell, but it doesn’t come from my heart, then not only am I not being honest with myself, but I’m not being honest with my customers. It took me awhile to develop some boundaries and advocate for myself in all areas of my business. Knowing exactly who I am as a person and an artist, and allowing myself to explore my creative impulses is what keeps me happy and helps me grow creatively. Throughout this process, I’ve certainly had some bumps along the way. So, let’s talk about a couple of retail stores where I used to sell my work and the valuable life lessons I learned in the process.

I’ve had some bad experiences in the past with with a few of the brick and mortar stores where I’ve sold my work. So much so, that at a some point, I wondered if I could even trust the whole experience anymore. Now, even thought I only had a small amount of stores who were difficult, the lessons I learned stayed with me. I’m happy to report that after these bad experiences, I landed in a store that was healing and inspirational. The amazing store owner (and all around good human) appreciated me and my work, and she didn’t hesitate to tell me this every time I stopped by. (If you’re reading this, you know who you are-and thank you.) Your store was an oasis. A beautiful wonderland of freedom and exploration that ignited my creativity. And your customers were just as magical as you.

Now, onto the toxic stores that started my journey. Because we have to start somewhere. It’s how we grow. Before I start this discussion, I want to make it clear, that over the years, I’ve always been very willing to accommodate the retail stores where I’ve sold in many ways. The ones that I will discuss here crossed the line, after I went above and beyond to comply with their wishes.

I had one store ask if I could only make things in neutral tones, which for a while I did. And, when I say neutral tones, I mean twenty different ways to label the color white. Yes, I’m serious. Basically, she wanted me to match the decor of her store. Eventually, I dissolved my relationship with this store, not due to the odd color scheme rules, but because the owner had a problem paying me. When I say this, I mean that if I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t get paid, AT ALL. I wound up totaling up what she owed me, (always keep good records of your inventory, people), and asking for my money. It took weeks of me constantly communicating that I needed to get paid for this to FINALLY happen. Afterwards, I was so frustrated, that I knew I could never go through that again, so I told her to just keep my minimal remaining inventory and I severed the relationship.

Another store where I was selling at the same time, used to be great, until one day they weren’t. Back then, I did my own natural dyeing, so a lot of the things I made reflected this color scheme. When they first approached me about selling my work, they loved what I was doing, especially the natural dyeing. Not long after this, they asked if I could do brighter color ways, because they were bored with the neutral tones. Yes, that’s exactly what they said. They were bored. When I accommodated, they then asked if I could go back to making neutrals, and telling me how much they missed those colors. When I told them that I no longer did the natural dyeing anymore because it wasn’t cost effective, since I was also making all of the clothes, they were upset. In addition to this, they also randomly didn’t like certain things, like ruffles. There are many different ways to represent ruffles in clothing, and they didn’t like any of them. So, I couldn’t make anything with ruffles. I spent so much time worrying and trying to deconstruct what they actually wanted, that I lost track of what I wanted and who I was in the process. I had no freedom in what I wanted to make, and with that my creative spark fizzled. Amidst all of this, their customers were still consistently buying my work.

Not long after this, I was passive/aggressively phased out. I brought it to their intention that they didn’t seem to be interested in what I wanted to make at all. Then, they also denied that they ever asked me to switch back and forth from neutrals to brights and back again. Not long after this, when I met them at their store to deliver new things per their request, they casually handed me all of my remaining inventory in the store and told me that they weren’t interested in anything I had brought along. When I asked if I was being phased out, they were incredulous and affronted (think pearl clutching), wondering why I would ask such a thing. Can anyone say gaslighting? Yeah, it was weird. I have not gone into detail as to who did this to me aside from speaking to a few select friends and family, (most of whom didn’t even know the folks who owned the store or shop there). I did let the owners know exactly how I felt about the way I was treated before I left. And, I never shopped in their store again.

These experiences were upsetting personally, creatively, and professionally. I think what frustrated me the most though, was that I was NOT being seen or heard. This was a wake up call for me, and the last time that I sold anything at a retail store who asked me to create within an adherence to their rigid standards, which in no way valued or respected me or my work. Unfortunately, I was validating this behavior by allowing them to do it. I understand if you don’t think that my work would be a good fit in your store. That’s nothing personal. Actually, knowing that is quite helpful. But these experiences were vastly different from that. The shop owners of both of these stores sought me out and they were very familiar with my aesthetic.

Any relationships with brick and mortar stores I’ve had after these horrid ones have been amazing, not only because of the shop owners, BUT, because I started to create just for ME and the stores where I sell celebrate that. I thought I was a person who knew my worth and how to set boundaries, but clearly I didn’t. Side note: these stores have moved on to other ventures and they are no longer in business. The only local store where I sell now is River Pearl Studio in Marietta. And, you can be sure, that when you shop there, you are supporting a business that values their artists.

Last week at a glance

• I made many crochet accessories

• I made a bunch of new styles of earrings. Jewelry is a big seller over the holidays, especially earrings.

• The baby quilt I made arrived at its destination.

• I watched squirrels feast on the pumpkins my family carved. At this point, it’s ridiculous.

• I went trick-or-treating with my family and our friends. I just love how much fun it is to walk around Lancaster City on Halloween.

• Cute mini art gallery I discovered while walking my dog.

• I went to a bunch of thrift stores and found some good things.

• I watched The Others with my family. I hadn’t seen the movie for a long time, so I forgot about all the plot twists.

• I started watching Black Rabbit. It’s intense, but good

• I went hiking with my family on a beautiful day.

• I bemoaned Daylight Light Saving Time. Because, now it will get darker much earlier.

• I also bemoaned folks incorrectly calling it Daylight Savings Time.

• I dropped off a bunch of new things at River Pearl Studio.

  November Shows

• The Find-November 23

• The Millworks-November 29

• Gifts That Give Hope Gift Fair-November 30b

  I appreciate all of you who choose to be here and read my newsletter. Have a wonderful week. And, I hope to see you around the studio. Please, tell your friends.

  xo,

  Christa

  

  Links

  Email: wildchildfibers@gmail.com

  Website: https://www.wildchildfibers.com

  Gallery: here

  Book a shopping appointment: here

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Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.