Feeling vulnerable and frustrated. . .
It’s all happening.
Dear Reader,
We all work hard. Whether it's long hours at a job or multiple jobs, working for ourselves, caring for loved ones and friends, or fighting through emotional and physical challenges. Life is full of difficult situations, some large and some small.
I've worked for myself for many years. While I wouldn't trade it in a million years for the security of a traditional job, being self-employed (at least for me), is sometimes a rollercoaster of emotions. Since I'm a person who likes to analyze things, I started to think about why this happens. The ultimate conclusion is that this fluctuation of feelings is largely based on sales. This was eye-opening for me, but I'm sure other self-employed folks can relate.
I usually have pretty steady sales with the exception of January-March right after the holidays and before my show season starts up again. Shows have always been very successful for me, with low sales being very few and far between. However, one show with low sales can send me on that aforementioned roller coaster of emotions.
This was my reality yesterday. Anyone who has ever vended at a show knows how much work it is to set up and tear down, not to mention when you're dealing with other obstacles such as weather. The wind gusts yesterday were quite strong. While I can gratefully say that my display didn't suffer at all, some vendors left early due to ruined displays. What was worse than the wind though, was that after three hours at the show I only had one small sale. When that happens I don't know if I'm more upset because I feel like I'm wasting my time or that I really don't have any control over the situation. To be honest, maybe a little bit of both. But, the point is, what I should have been upset about is the fact that I was assessing my value monetarily. An hour before the show was over I had more sales, but still not what I should have made to compensate the cost and time to be there.
This morning when I was thinking about yesterday I had realized some things.
- It's ok to allow myself to be upset, but I can't dwell it.
- I'm proud of what I do and I what I make.
- Regardless of sales or lack thereof my work has value and so do I.
Just to be clear, I'm not complaining here, just merely expressing my feelings. I'm grateful that I am able to do something I love every day. I will continue to make things with love and intention and share my work. Even though the ride may be bumpy at times, it's the life I chose. And, I could't imagine it any other way.
May you have a lovely week dear reader
xo, Christa
Here's where you'll find me next
McConkey's Market
Thanks for reading-I’m glad you’re here.