Dear Reader,
Since I was very little, I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum whenever possible, eschewing directions and rules along the way. I was a good student, but extremely talkative, and even though I got good grades, my elementary school report cards always said, “does not follow directions.” It’s no surprise that any traditional jobs I’ve ever had left me unfulfilled, and I always knew that I had to find my own way in the world.
It’s infinitely easier to work for yourself now more than it ever was before. The main reason for this is the internet. While the internet can be overwhelming, if you find your own little corner, it isn’t. For me, the internet world that I’ve created consists of my website and my newsletter. These spaces feel like independent environments on the internet that belong to me, where I get to make my own rules. This is where I like to focus my energy, because it nourishes me. These worlds that I have created for myself on the internet are where I share my work. When you build a website, it doesn’t come with an audience, and it can feel like you’re languishing in obscurity. But making art with no direct audience feedback forces you to see yourself. When someone signs up for my newsletter, I recognize that it’s a big investment, much bigger than following me on social media. But doesn’t this allow me the opportunity to focus my energy to build deeper connections? I feel like the people who have to go much more out of their way to find my website or sign up for my newsletter are my people. The folks who get what I’m doing in my littler corner of the world, and it resonates with them. I’m grateful for these people.
When you share work on a platform you know that there are people on the other side receiving what you share. In the process, you might get a like, a comment, or possibly a reshare. These dopamine hits are immediate and it can certainly be a boost for your self esteem. But, when I share new work on my website and when I write my newsletter each week, there’s often a silence. It feels more personal and almost private, like I’m sharing a notebook filled with ideas. Maybe you might hear something back or maybe not. Without the feedback, I am centered in my process and my own practice, separate from the validation of being on a platform. I don’t have a model to follow because I have defined my own. The experience of creating in my own little corner of the internet feels infinite, but not draining. In direct contrast with sharing my creations on platforms which feels limited and exhausting, because the world is not my own.
