Which NBA team is the baldest NBA team? Part 1
Which NBA team is the baldest NBA team? Let's find out.
Cason Wallace said that Alex Caruso is the first bald teammate he’s ever had (Instagram). Inspired by his assertion, we investigated which NBA team has the most bald players.
Baldness evaluations are based on official roster photo unless otherwise noted. Players that are capable of growing hair but have it cut short (e.g. De’Aaron Fox) are not counted as bald. For players with ambiguous hair status, we consulted a panel of basketball watchers with varying amounts of hair.
In this installment, we’ll examine the teams in the western conference. Teams are organized reverse alphabetically by conference, it’s a long but uninteresting story. There are a total of 2 players in the west that we officially deemed as bald.
San Antonio Spurs
Total players: 18
Bald players: 1 (Jordan McLaughlin)
Temporarily bald: 1 (Wemby in his Shaolin monk era)
Really short hair: 7
Percentage of bald players: 5.5%
New Orleans Pelicans
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Memphis Grizzlies
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Bald watch: 1 (Luke Kennard)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Houston Rockets
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Almost bald: 1 (Jeff Green)
The opposite of bald: 1 (Steven Adams)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Other notes: I hated their roster page
Dallas Mavericks
Total players: 17
Bald players: 0
Almost bald: 1 (Kai Jones)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Sacramento Kings
Total players: 17
Bald players: 0
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Phoenix Suns
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
On thin ice: 2 (Kevin Durant, Mason Plumlee)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Los Angeles Lakers
Total players: 17
Bald players: 0
Almost bald: 1 (LeBron James)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
LA Clippers
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Really short hair: 3
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Golden State Warriors
Total players: 17
Bald players: 0
While he does not have a roster picture, I do remember what Taran Armstrong looks like and I do remember that he has hair. I’m sorry.
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Utah Jazz
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Portland Trail Blazers
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Surprisingly difficult to tell: 1 (Duop Reath, he loves his headbands)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Oklahoma City Thunder
The reason we’re doing all of this! The Thunder are not the baldest team in the NBA, which makes sense because if they were, Cason Wallace probably wouldn’t have said that Alex Caruso specifically is the first bald teammate he’s ever had.
Total players: 18
Bald players: 1 (Alex Caruso)
Percentage of bald players: 5.5%
Minnesota Timberwolves
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Almost bald: 1 (Joe Ingles)
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Denver Nuggets
Total players: 18
Bald players: 0
Percentage of bald players: 0%
Thanks for making it this far! The baldest team in the NBA is not in the western conference. However, there are three teams in the west that are in contention for baldest coaching staff: the Dallas Mavericks, the LA Clippers, the Golden State Warriors, and the Utah Jazz. Each of these teams has 3 pictured staff members who are bald.
We’ll be back soon with the eastern conference!