Hello there fellow wallowers,

Are you ever suddenly and for no reason overcome by the fear that you’ve had all of your good ideas? That’s it––nothing but mediocrity from you from now on, and maybe not even that?

Do you ever, as a consequence, sit down with your notebook and pen with the sole intent of proving yourself wrong, and come up with a banger of an idea that you cannot wait to start writing?

I often joke that I have too many ideas, that ideas are like a swarm of gnats and mostly I have to swat them away if I’m ever going to focus and accomplish anything. But, there are times (cough the end of last month cough) when I’m tired and between projects and doubt begins to creep in.

The thing is, when I’m practicing self-care and giving myself time and space to experience wonder at the beauty and complexity of the world around me, ideas will always come. Good ideas. Great ones, even. And also a bunch of random ones that will never see the outside of my Notes app (if they even make it there in the first place).

Ideas are, well, (almost) inexhaustible magic: much like this Victorian inkstand (only, I presume, less of an egregious marketing claim and more of a real renewable resource).

I don’t know about you, but I find that extremely comforting.

Monthly Microfiction

THE BUTTONS

by Courtney Floyd

The first button is an antique, chunky with curved lines and dots carved along the outer edge. It is out of place on your sternum, belongs on the mink coat you inherited from your great grandmother. You try to brush it away, thinking you somehow rolled over it in the night. But it is lodged there. Sewn, when you peer more closely.

The others appear in quick succession. Dad’s pearl snaps and mom’s abalone wedges and car-shaped plastic things that decorated your older brother’s childhood clothes before he passed. A row of tiny hauntings, sternum to belly button. A sign your time has come.

The morning the last one arrives, you make your arrangements. Spend all day preparing just to retreat at sunset to your bedroom and strip down. With trembling fingers, you unbutton each one and step free—–

May Recommendations

• On the topic of ideas, this Page One podcast episode features Jasper Fforde discussing how he develops ideas via the narrative dare approach. Super fascinating listen!

• Over on X, I described Sylvie Cathrall’s A Letter to the Luminous Deep as what would happen if A.S. Byatt's Possession got lovingly smushed into an H.G. Wells book (complimentary) with disability at its heart, Dickinson references, academic foibles galore, & unhinged 19th-century-different-planet vibes. I loved it so much.

• I also read an eARC of C. M. Waggoner’s The Village Library Demon Hunting Society which was macabre and hilarious and so beautifully heartwarming. As a contemporary fantasy, it feels quite different from Waggoner’s previous books but like The Ruthless Lady’s Guide to Wizardry and Unnatural Magic it is packed full of characters I absolutely adored. If that sounds like your jam, you can preorder it right now! https://www.cmwaggoner.com/

Books I’m Looking Forward To

I have a huge and growing TBR, but the books I’m most looking forward to at the moment are:

• John Wiswell’s Someone You Can Build a Nest In

• Katherine Arden’s The Warm Hands of Ghosts

• Leigh Bardugo’s The Familiar

• Chris and Jen Sugden’s High Vaultage

A Small Request

If you’ve been enjoying my newsletter, would you please share it on your social media hellsite of choice? It would be extraordinarly helpful if you did!

Post Script

Oh, I almost forgot! Last month, I commissioned a digital portrait of me as a forest witch to celebrate things. It’s by La_Engine Arts and I love it so much! Where else can I wear such a deadly crown of foxgloves???

Thanks for wallowing with me,

Courtney