Hi, hello! I’m Courtney. I write contemporary fantasy and make haunted audio fiction. You’re probably here because I carved the words dark academia into a hemlock branch during the full moon. Or maybe it’s because you heard about my debut fantasy novel​ or my ​cozy horror audio drama series​ and wanted to learn more. Whatever the case, welcome!

It’s been just over three weeks since Higher Magic came out, and in about two more weeks (Nov 20th) it will release in the UK!

A friend of mine recently asked me how life post-pub has been, and it occurred to me that’s something more of you might be interested to know. So, here’s a metaphor:

Debut was a rocket launch, and now I’m in space. But my instruments aren’t picking up much, and my contact with ground control comes and goes.

Exciting things are happening, some I’ve shared and some I can’t talk about yet. Every once in a while I happen to see a nice post or review (which I mostly don’t read, because anxiety, but which I appreciate immensely because yay readers!!!) and in between there are vast stretches of void in which I don’t know how Higher Magic is faring or how my career is doing. The silence creeps in, and dread begins to eat away at the edges of my composure.

There has been lots of recent discussion about the publishing industry’s gambling and gaslighting problems and what it takes to make it post-debut. The tl;dr version of it all is: the odds are rarely in authors’ favor.

It’s easy, in the silence of post-pub space, to wonder: what if that was it? What if I’m lost out here? Adrift, and floating ever further out of reach?

Meanwhile, life keeps happening. Several times in the past year and a half, I’ve had occasion to observe that career highs have a dreadful tendency to happen during personal lows, when I’m suffering loss or struggling in ways that make it difficult to process the wins, let alone celebrate them.

I’m going through one of those personal lows right now.

I cope by writing.

I always cope by writing.

This is probably much too honest for the internet, but it’s true.

What’s also true is that I’ve realized a lifelong dream. My world has changed in obvious and still-emerging ways.

I am so grateful and excited for every chance I get to talk to readers about Bartleby and her found cohort. Getting tagged in TBR posts in which my book is hanging out with other people’s books is one of the coolest things I didn’t think to anticipate. Plus, many of my colleagues have read my book and they’re doing a book club about it?! Strange and wonderful. Truly.

Early on in this process, I attended a webinar in which the presenter said something like you’ll still be the same person after pub you are now.

Publication doesn’t magically transform you into your platonic ideal of an author. It doesn’t erase your insecurities or make you an extrovert or solidify your place in your writing community.

But if you know that going in, publication does offer an opportunity––or, rather, a series of opportunities––to grow and change. To assess who and how you want to be in your identity as author and work toward that.

Along this journey, I’ve gotten better at accepting myself and identifying where I want to grow. I’ve taken steps to accommodate myself so that I have what I need in order to show up how I want to show up. And I’m so excited for what the year after debut brings.

Higher Magic out and about

• Read about how I learned to love worldbuilding on my own terms in Thursday’s installment of Mary Robinette Kowal’s My Favorite Bit

• San Francisco Book Review called Higher Magic a “a magical treat with charm, magic, mystery, and subtle commentary about friendship, acceptance, and inclusion.”

• Check out this promo for my upcoming episode of About the Authors TV!

November Recs

• Bowie’s Space Oddity (how could I not?)

• The Undetectables by Courtney Smyth a murder mystery with chronic illness rep and excellent spooky season vibes

Thanks for wallowing with me,

Courtney