Hitting The Links: 8/31/25
Whole lotta links for you to check out, + thoughts on my final resting place, which would maybe be my first resting place, some BIRDY!, my latest reading, & more
The Virtual Memories Show News
A 2x/week email about a podcast about books & life
Destination Unknown
We visited Dad’s grave yesterday, after stops at Blick and HMart. The grass is starting to fill in, 50 days after his burial. That was good to see.
I read the mourner’s Kaddish, lay back on the grass, took in the sky for a few moments. After, Amy asked me if I’d given any more thought about what I want in terms of burial or disposing of my remains.
A few days earlier, an old friend visited. Her dad died two weeks after mine, and she told me she was surprised that he opted for cremation. Then she started recounting some of the Filipino Catholic traditions of that side of her family, which would include the body lying in state at their house for up to 9 days. She appreciated that we buried Dad about 25 hours after his death.
I had no answer for Amy, but as I go through this experience, having a place of burial doesn’t exactly appeal to me. I don’t have kids, so there’s no thought of my descendants coming to pay their respects. It’s nice to think my podcast listeners (and newsletter readers) would make a pilgrimage to my gravesite and, y’know, hit Like and Subscribe or something, but we know that’s not gonna happen.
We have 3 wooden boxes with the ashes of our greyhounds, Rufus T. Firefly, Otis B. Driftwood, and Bendico Roth, but having an object with my remains, a symbol of my death sitting on a bookshelf beside the cookbooks, also feels . . . unnecessary.
I should go back to Hayley Campbell’s great book, All the Living and the Dead, and check out the pros & cons of cremation, green burial & the like. Or I can do like her dad’s comic about Empedocles and heft myself into a live volcano (that is, if I’m late-terminal but still mobile and somewhere near said volcano).
I suppose I could go with cremation and set aside funds so that Amy can travel to Dordogne or Palermo to disperse my ashes near Montaigne’s tower or Santa Margherita del Belice, the inspiration for Donnafugata in The Leopard. We had a destination wedding — New Orleans, 6 months after the storm —; would a destination dispersal be so bad?
Birdy Of The Week
I interrupted her from the important work of chewing on her plastic toys.
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And now, let’s hit the links!
Links & Such
Recent Virtual Memories Show podcasts: Ask Me Anything • Dan Goldman • David Levithan/Jens Lekman • Sacha Mardou • Oliver Radclyffe • Eulogy • Rachel Cockerell • Paul Karasik
RIP Carol Saline . . . RIP Jerry Adler . . . RIP Dave Taylor . . . RIP Mort Todd . . . RIP David Ketchum . . . RIP Jim Kimball . . . RIP Mark Knoller . . . RIP Rodion Shchedrin . . . RIP Donald McPherson . . .
David Roth wrote a lovely piece on The Limey, occasioned by Terence Stamp’s death.
“I sometimes wonder if the easy availability of essentially all human culture thanks to the internet and streaming means we’re in danger of losing [the value of curation]. Perhaps it’s just me, but I’ve sometimes found that functionally infinite choice makes me less likely to explore, to try new things instead of those that sort of rhyme with the ones I already know.” Sometimes? SOMETIMES?!
I consider Alien’s casting director to have the greatest slugging percentage of all time: 7 roles to cast, and they wound up with Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Ian Holm, John Hurt, Harry Dean Stanton, Yaphet Kotto, . . . and Veronica Cartwright. I’ve always described that as “six sluggers and a solid singles hitter,” but this interview convinced me that I’ve been unfair to VC.
I dug this David Marchese interview with Jen Hatmaker, about her life as a Christian influencer, how she lost and gained an audience when she embraced antiracism and the LGBTQIA community, and how her life changed after her 2020 divorce. That is, there’s a lot going on in this conversation about what we’re raised with and how our lives can grow into something we’re not expecting or prepared for. Also, given her surname and the nature of her changes, I’m very disappointed her memoir isn’t called Milliner’s Crossing.
Good piece on the bullshit of ‘Bourdainposting,’ though I’d argue that, in addition to Bourdain’s concerns about the destruction wrought by capital, another key aspect to his travels is the development of empathy. That is, he seemed less about “how do I get to eat something that celebrates local culture?” and more about “how do I get to know another person?” I say this from my own experience making the podcast since 2012; sitting down with other people for a conversation has made me a fuller human being. That comes from the practice of listening and getting out in the world.
Levi Stahl launched a newsletter, This Not That, so go read & sign up! (Yes, he used my “benighted” line, but that’s okay.)
Jesse Sheidlower got interviewed at Flaming Hydra about the history of the describing robots (& AI) as “clankers” (and whether it’s derogatory) and his Historical Dictionary of Science Fiction.
In this week’s AMA episode of the podcast, someone asked me what TV I’ve been watching. I forgot to mention Peacemaker on HBO Max. The first season was big, dumb fun, without requiring in-depth knowledge of the DC Comics Universe; the new season just started and seems to be trying to force more of that, which sucks. Anyway, the only reason I gave season 1 a shot is because of the absolutely bananas musical-dance number they used for the credits. They upped the stakes for season 2; here’s an interview with the choreographer.
Ginia Bellafante wrote a column wrapping up her 14-year run as the NYT’s Big City columnist.
One of my clients is a member of The Explorers Club, and recently sent me the promo-video of their annual dinner and I wish there was ANYTHING that I do that qualified for membership.
And finally, Ross Benjamin and Judith Shulevitz wish you a better Sunday than Kafka had. (But seriously, it’s a REALLY good post about rest, ‘productivity,’ and lost time.)
Current/Recent Reading
Hot Wax - ML Rio
The Puma Blues - Stephen Murphy and Mike Zulli (it was a whim; didn’t remember that the story kicks off with the anniversary of the protagonist’s dad’s death)
I Heard Her Call My Name: A Memoir of Transition - Lucy Sante (finished)
I Want to Die, I Hate My Life: Three Essays on Tragedy and One on Beckett - Simon Critchley
+ the mourner’s Kaddish every morning, in Aramaic
Sound Body, Fractured Mind
It’s been a tough week for exercise, for a variety of reasons. I missed weights on Wednesday & Friday, but got in yoga Thursday & Saturday. Hope to do weights today. My body looks okay, but I feel kinda blech.
Meditation hasn’t been that good either, though I’ve had some moments where the world has dropped away or I’ve dropped away from the world. I’m just carrying so much right now.
Until Next Time
Thanks for reading this far! I’ll back on Wednesday, with a new episode, plus a throwback Instax and maybe some art. On Sunday I’ll be back with links, books, & workout craziness, & maybe a little profundity or something.
Because the air outside will make / Our cells divide at an alarming rate / Until our shells simply cannot hold / All our insides in and that’s when we'll explode / And it won’t be a pretty sight,